My Bed again, hmmm snuggly,
My Room
Dear Mum and Dad,
Today I feel a lot more cheery because of finding a big haystack by Beech Grove. Only it was not a haystack really, it was my furniture buried in moose grass by Smells.
Also, a big
Now Smells is busy outside playing Jack and the Cabbagestalk with Normus. Smells lets both of them be the Giant-bashers, so Normus likes it 2. Sometimes they creep up behind people, going bonk.
I was that people 1 time so I said a loud Ouch! Then Smells went and cuddled Normus’s leg, saying to me, “Be quiet, I hate you Little. I only like Normus now!”
Funny, I did not know he liked me before. Oh well, never mind, as long as he leaves me alone. Now I can have a quiet readupp and maybe find a nice new adventure to have.
By the way, I got your short card saying WAKE UP!!!! Plus saying, “Your faymuss ancestor Blackfur was a Pie Rat not a Rat Pie, you Blunking Blip ect. Plus he was sitting on a chest full of treasure, so get out of bed and go and find it NOW!”
Sorry, I still do not get it. What does that mean, Pie Rat?
Yours headscratchingly,
Little Dimp
Window Seat, Reading Room
Dear Mum and Dad,
Oh, I get it now. Blackfur was a Pie Rat spelt PIRATE! I asked Stubbs and he said, “ARK!” meaning look it up in the enzarklopedia. So we did. Sad to say, I only read a short part because just then, Smells came by being Jack and the Cabbagestalk. So he chopped up the page I was reading with his chopper, then he ate it saying:
“Bee By Bo Bum, I like paper, yum yum yum.”
Not funny.
Normus said, “Hoy, be fair Smells – no bashing pages. Save bashing for big giants.” Smells did not like Normus telling him off, so he chopped up his trout net saying, “Be quiet, I hate you, Normus. I only like Yeller now!”
I said (wise voice), “There, I told you he was only a short friend, Normus.” That is Y Normus has gone off for a sulk. I can hear him outside hitting trees - bonk, e e - a r r r , crash.
Lucky Yeller still wants to be my chum.
Yours tuttingly,
Little Cheesedoff
Table, The Kitchen
Dear Mum and Dad,
Soon I will have no friends left. It is all your fault because of making me look after your crool baby. Also, how can I find Blackfur’s treasure when I have to keep doing cub-sitting for my baby bruv?
Did I say about Smells wanting to be Mister Tricker, yes? Also about him having a big crush on Yeller for showing him loads of good tricks, yes? Trouble is, Smells only likes trying them out on me eg.:
The Fridge Trick
Smells comes running into the kitchen saying, “Hello, Little, is your fridge running? Good, now it is running out the window.” Then he chucks it out saying, “Har har tricked you!”
Another eg.
This morning, Smells swallowed a big load of my Lego bits. Then he pressed his tummy button and sicked them all up saying, “Look, me a toaster, pop, pop!”
That was a funny wun, so I fell over laughing. But guess what? He said, “Shut up, Sillyfur, I hate you, I only like Yeller now.” So harsh.
Yours jealously,
Little
PS I am 2 upsett to xplain now, so more tomorrow.
Inside My Wardrobe having a dark curlupp,
My Room
Dear Mum and Dad,
Here are Yeller’s last words that he said to me doorslammingly, (in a note, he rolled them up then skwashed them up my keyhole).
Listen Lickle, I Am All Fed Up. I Tried Bein Nice To Smells, Him Bein Only A Titch, But Now He As Gorn 2 Far. He Kept On Pesterin Me To Teach Him More And More Tricks. So In The End, I Thought, I Know, I Will Try To Double-Trick Him. So I Said, “Smells, You Are Such A Good Tricker, So You Must Never, Never, Never Play Mister Tidyupp, Ok?” That Made Him Go All Crafty-Lookin. Then Off He Went Rushin And Did A Tidyupp Of His Room. So I Said “Well Done Me” To Myself. But Then He Went And Pulled A Bunch Of Feathers Out Of Stubbs’ Tail For A Duster. They Were The Wuns Stubbs Was Savin Spesh For Loopin The Loop, So He Gave Me A Harsh Peck! All Your Fault For Havin Smells As A Baby Bruv. I Am Not Stayin Here I Single Short Mo Longer, So Tuff, Bang, Doorslam!
And now Stubbs just hid up the chimney saying, “ARK!” meaning he will never darken my doorknob again.
Yours leftalonely,
L ect. (2 upsett to write all of my name down proply, so there)
The Big Hall with all suits of armour ect.
Dear Mum and Dad,
I am all sad without Yeller and Normus here, but good news about Stubbs. He did not like me going snifful parp ect. in my hanky, so out of the chimney hole he popped with a nice present (beakful of crawlycreeps for a snack).
Then off he went flappingly down the shop and fetched me a copy of Wolf Weekly, so he and me could have a nice newsy read together.
Guess what we read in the paper? There is ANOTHER Terror of the