F*ck Feelings: Less Obsessing, More Living. Sarah Bennett

work out your relationship with a dangerous person, because pursuing such a goal can stir up and stimulate a psyche set to explode.

      If you have a loved one who is dangerous but wants to control it, urge them to find a shrink who won’t waste time figuring out why they’re so angry, but will just help them put a lid on things and keep it there, regardless of the pain inside, while you stay out of it.

      Even if you’ve done the right thing, don’t expect to feel good. No one controls their reaction to trauma, which may linger for years. Certainly, you should try standard PTSD treatments, like medication and cognitive therapies, which sometimes help. Remind yourself, however, that whether or not you continue to have anxiety attacks and phobias, you’ve done the right thing and you’re not to blame for your current condition.

      Accepting the fact that you can’t protect yourself or your family from crazies or the fear they inspire doesn’t ever mean you’ve been defeated. It just means life is full of crazy dangers and you’re a success as long as you get the message and act accordingly, even if you have to cut off your right arm in doing so.

      Indeed, every day that you venture out of your house, do your usual job, and endure fears and symptoms, you’re a hero, and in a nonfiction way.

       Quick Diagnosis

      Here’s what you wish for and can’t have:

      • Safety, security, and control over same

      • Guaranteed preservation of your closest relationships, job, home, etc.

      • Exorcism of demons in those you love

      • Restoration of your peace of mind

      Here’s what you can aim for and actually achieve:

      • Find the best compromise between safety and your other priorities in an unsafe world

      • Reduce the risk of violence by walling yourself off from dangerous people, even those close to you