Thorsons
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk This edition published by Thorsons 2016 FIRST EDITION Text © FXCK FEELINGS LLC 2016 Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2016 A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library FXCK FEELINGS LLC asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in the publication. It is sold with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical, health, or any other kind of personal professional services in the book. The reader should consult his or her medical, health, or other competent professional before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it. The author and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book. Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at www.harpercollins.co.uk/green Source ISBN: 9780008140564 Ebook Edition © February 2016 ISBN: 9780008140588 Version: 2015-11-16
For the previous generation, Claire and Dr. Jacob Bleiberg, and Beatrice and Jacob Bennett. Tough lives couldn’t stop them from sticking to their values and working hard so that our lives could be so much easier.
And for friend, mentor, and legendary mensch Dr. Ted Nadelson, who taught us that the best way to help people accept what’s tough about life is to make them laugh.
There’s no “should” or “should not” when it comes to having feelings. They’re part of who we are and their origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier to make constructive choices about what to do with those feelings.
—Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember
Contents
Introduction: What’s Your Goal?
Chapter One Fuck Self-Improvement
Taking Back the Reins of Your Life (After a Stampede)
Getting to the Root of Your Problem . . . and Tearing It Out
Becoming a More Positive Person
Unleashing the Power of Persuasion
Overcoming the Stigma of Disability
Defending Your Right to Live in Safety
Getting Closure After Childhood Abuse
Getting Justice and/or Closure
Protecting Victims of Injustice