‘Having cheerleaders is incredibly important – some of the women that you’re interviewing are my cheerleaders and I’m theirs, because I think it’s really important to have people that are objective, who aren’t necessarily in your workplace, who know the real you, the authentic you, who can basically give you a verbal slap when you have those moments, those crises of self-confidence, those moments of lack of self-belief – and we all have them – and you need somebody that’s basically going to say “Why not?” and counsel you through it. And drink lots of wine, if need be, when something’s gone wrong.
‘But you all need someone that’s “Team Karen”; everybody needs that. And so I definitely think you need somebody as a sponsor because you need to be in the room, and not just in the room, you need to be at the table. If you’re not, you need somebody who is going to talk on your behalf, because that’s where your next career move comes from. That means you have to have a personal brand, and that person needs to be able to articulate it. And if they can’t, that’s why it’s difficult to get a sponsor.’
Karen is right; having a sponsor comes more easily once you know what your personal brand is and you’re able to articulate it to others. Again, Yomi goes into this in ‘***Flawless’, and it isn’t something that necessarily comes easily. For me, it started with building up my confidence and self-belief, and it also meant I had to shut out the voices, inside and out, that would tell me I wasn’t good enough and shouldn’t be there and that I had to work harder – the voices that had been so loud that summer of my GCSE results. An unintentional consequence of growing up with a ‘twice as hard’ mindset was constantly experiencing Imposter Syndrome. As I explained in the ‘Lawyer, Doctor, Engineer’ section, I was raised with mixed messages: with parents who would boast about my achievements to family members in one breath and then criticise me in the other for not getting straight As. As a result I was not able to internalise my achievements properly and would instead attribute my accomplishments to luck, as opposed to the fact that I had worked hard for them. Confidence building is a big thing, and understanding I have a right to be in the room, that I have a contribution to make, I have value to add, has been key in my career development. Don’t let Imposter Syndrome stop you realising your potential.
Malorie Blackman talks about her experiences of feeling like an imposter: ‘I was at the Black Powerlist dinner last year, and I was sitting there, and I was at a table and I had a CEO to the left of me and an Admiral to the right, and I was thinking, “Why am I here?” I was thinking, “Oh my God!” and everyone sitting at the table was the great and the good, and someone else was managing a portfolio of millions and millions, and I’m thinking, “Why am I here?” So I just kind of thought, “No, you’ve been invited! You have a right to be here just as much as anybody else.” But the fact that I was still thinking that, just said to me I still have a way to go, I still suffer from Imposter Syndrome.
‘The one person who blocks me most is myself. When people say,“Can you do this?” or, “Could you do that?” and I think, “Oh, I can’t do that!” And I look back now and there have been some opportunities where I think, “Oh, you should have done that.” And it was me thinking, “Oh, I’m not sure that’s for me,” or, “I can’t do that.”
‘I really don’t mind failing because I think I learn a lot from my mistakes and my failures, but for me, the worst thing would be to be on my deathbed and to think, “I wish I had tried and I wish I’d had the guts to try, and it was the fear holding me back and I should never have let it do that.” And that would be worse.
‘And I think for me as well, it is about appreciating that your comfort zone is very nice, but it’s called a comfort zone for a reason, and I think the way you grow is to move outside the comfort zone, and to take risks and so on. And I think it’s been instructive to me, especially in my writing career, that the books that have done the best for me are the books I’ve taken risks on and the books where I’ve thought, “I’m going to get a kicking for this one!” but I’m going to do it anyway.
‘And even if you don’t believe in yourself, it’s kind of like what they say about “Fake it till you make it.” So, fake it until you absolutely believe it and don’t have to fake it anymore, because you can do it! And you’ve proven to yourself that you can do it.
‘There are certain times when I’m asked to do stuff and I think, “I don’t think that’s for me!” you know, but now I kind of think, “Okay, why is it not for you? Is it really not for you, or are you just shying away from something?”And then just go out there and grasp these opportunities, because sometimes it’s true: they will only come once.’
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A seat at the table
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For those of us who do try twice as hard as our neighbours at school, then our colleagues at work, and eventually succeed in breaking through the concrete ceiling, being a trailblazer can bring pressures of its own. Shonda Rhimes, in her book Year of Yes, spoke about being the ‘First Only Different’: taking a seat at the table as the only black woman and the pressure that comes with it. In her decision to cast Kerry Washington in Scandal as the ABC network’s first lead, black, female character in 37 years, she was aware of the consequences if this move didn’t pay off and the show didn’t find an audience. How long would it take for another opportunity to come along for another black female director? She said, ‘When you are a First Only Different, you are saddled with that burden of extra responsibility – whether you want it or not. I was not about to make a mistake now. You don’t get second chances. Not when you’re an FOD. Failure meant two generations of female actors might have to wait for another chance to be seen as more than a sidekick.’18 As black women, we are not strangers to striving for success, but as we go through our careers we realise that getting that promotion and a seat at the table is bigger than our own personal victories, and we begin to fear that there is no room for failure because it runs the risk of them not letting in more girls who look like you.
BAFTA award-winning director Amma Asante knows all too well the weight of this responsibility.
‘I think the hardest thing is knowing that the world outside, even your own community, doesn’t necessarily always have the opportunity to see or know what you go through as that “one and only” with a seat at the table. That seat at the table comes at a price.
‘Oftentimes you’re invited to the table to sit, but you’re being asked to speak in the same voice as those that you’re occupying the table with, as opposed to being invited to the table to reflect and represent the voice that is uniquely yours and might in some way represent something of your community.’
Trying twice as hard and smashing the concrete ceiling can often mean you become a role model for others. This can be intentional or unintentional, but being one of the few black female faces in a certain space can bring its own challenges. Karen Blackett, who became the first woman to top the Powerlist 100 of most influential black Britons, acknowledges this.
‘I think there is pressure in being a role model. Of course there is, because any person who is good and has got a good heart wants to pull other people through. So that you’re not the first all the time and so that you’re not always the pioneer, and to make it easier for other people to get through. But you would hope that if you’re sitting at a table, you’re sitting there because of what you’re good at and what you’ve achieved, not because of your gender or because of your race, but because you’re good at what you’ve achieved.
‘You’re there because of something that you can do, which complements everyone else around the table, or what everyone else around the table can’t do. And then it’s about pulling other people through, until it becomes the norm, rather than the exception. And that’s the thing, I’ll never rest until it’s the norm that there’s a multitude of faces around the table, rather than just one or two.
‘So yes,