In this book, I’ve tried to give the best overview I can of the first year of your baby’s life. Hopefully you’ll find the more baby-led chapters such as Feeding, Sleeping and Wellbeing a really helpful but gentle guide for how to care for your baby, full of the tips that particularly worked for me. Then I’ve talked about Lifestyle and the changes for you and your new family, and what things you can do to make the transition smooth and the outcome even better than before. Lastly, I’ve tried to be as honest as I can in the Looking After You chapter, as at a time when life is so completely different, so are you, and this can feel utterly overwhelming sometimes.
It’s important to say here that this isn’t a rule book. One size most definitely doesn’t fit all when it comes to babies so you need to spend time getting to know your baby to find out what works for you both. You might have to go through ten different soothing methods before you find one your baby likes, for example, and even then it’ll probably be one you made up – see, I told you to listen to your gut! If you’re at that point where nothing seems to be working and you’re at your lowest ebb and most exhausted, try to remember that nothing lasts forever! You’ll be in a completely different place in a month or so – just hang in there.
One final thing I should stress is that new mums don’t always feel an overwhelming surge of love for their new baby when they first give birth. If that’s you, you’re in good company! Please don’t beat yourself up about it. Just make sure you look after yourself and that little baby; you’ve got plenty of time to watch the love flow in – a whole lifetime in fact!
Best of luck to you and that new little baby! Let’s go through this together … deep breath …
Love
Is it best to breastfeed rather than bottle-feed and will it come naturally?
Your new baby’s finally here, and she’s hungry! How you decide to feed her is ultimately your choice, because the method that’s best is quite simply the one that works for you both. Breastfeeding is often described as the most natural thing in the world, but at times it can be the hardest thing to do. There’s a real art to it and it’s a 50/50 deal – 50 per cent you and 50 per cent your baby.
I put Harry on the breast straight away and went on to feed him successfully. However, a few hours after he was born the midwife asked me whether I’d like to top him up with a bottle so we could both get some sleep. I did this without hesitation and never had any issues putting him back on the breast. Belle arrived nearly six weeks prematurely and, despite being given drugs to slow my labour, I was expressing breast milk before she was even born! With my little reflux baby, Chester, I soon realised that sometimes no matter how hard you try, it doesn’t work out. So my experience is proof that you just never know how it’s going to work for you.
There’s so much to consider with feeding and lots of conflicting advice! Is breast always best? Which formula should you go for? When should you wean? I hope you’ll find some answers in this section that resonate with you, but ultimately – feed your baby the way you want to!
The need-to-knows and the know-hows Here I’ve tried to give you an overview of all the paraphernalia you’ll need to feed your baby – whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, or, like me, doing a bit of both. When you’re trying to breastfeed, establishing your milk supply and feeding successfully can be a bit of a minefield. This section gives you a heads up on what to expect, how things change and some tips for improving your milk supply.
The only thing I would say right now, before you drive yourself crazy, is that breastfeeding doesn’t always work. Even with the best will in the world and the most iron-clad determination (that I had with Chester), sometimes it’s just not meant to be and you’ll end up turning to formula – which is fine! All you can do is research, try everything to make it work and then see how you go. Good luck!
BREAST V. BOTTLE
Before embarking on this age-old debate, I want to stress that however you decide to feed your baby is right. If you’re a milking machine from day dot, then lucky you! If you want to put your baby straight onto formula, then good for you. If you’re hell-bent on breastfeeding, but hitting wall after wall, be at peace with giving formula! As long as you’re comfortable with your decision, it’s right. Feeling guilty and stressed during the first weeks of your baby’s life will be far more detrimental. You’ll have heard the pros and cons of both throughout your pregnancy. So, instead, I’m giving you the breastfeeding ‘headlines’ that convinced me to give it a go:
• Early bonding. Take it from me, when your baby opens her eyes and gazes back at you whilst feeding, you will feel an intensity like you’ve never known.
• Your antibodies are carried through your milk, so how could I not at least try to pass that protection on to my baby? Studies have also shown that breastfeeding has health benefits for you too.
• Breast milk evolves as your baby grows, to suit her specific nutritional needs. Although formula does contain nutrients, it stays exactly the same. Only breast milk is bespoke for your baby.
• For the lazy mum in me, breastfeeding is convenient. It’s available for your baby whenever your baby needs it, there’s no washing up, no sterilising and no warming a bottle in the middle of the night. So, in actual fact, for the lazy mum, once you’ve got it right, this could be for you!
I attempted to breastfeed all three of my babies, and I can say with brutal honesty that each time the first two weeks were very challenging. But I never give up without a fight, and with Harry and Belle I’m happy to say I was very successful. So you can imagine my frustration when with Chester no amount of grit and determination overcame the problems! I opted for bottle-feeding him expressed milk (see here), and eventually switched him to formula. That worked for me, so make sure you find what works for you too.
THE LOW-DOWN: BREASTFEEDING
The golden nectar – colostrum …
Before your breast milk comes in (at some point during the first two weeks after birth), your breasts produce colostrum, which is pure golden nectar to your baby. Colostrum looks a little bit like clear honey and is jam-packed with goodness for your newborn. It doesn’t spurt out like milk; it’s more of a slow trickle. I have to say it’s hard to get your head round the fact that those few droplets are enough to stop your baby from being hungry or thirsty. Colostrum is really potent stuff, fulfilling all your baby’s needs, both nutritional and functional – it’s low in fats, and high in carbohydrates, protein and antibodies to help keep your baby healthy. It helps to protect your baby against infection, and also with that all-important first bowel movement – another reason new mums are really encouraged to give breastfeeding a go. Colostrum may come in before your labour even starts and, if it does, it’s nothing to worry about. If anything it just means that everything is working as it should be and that your baby will be here