2. No, let her sleep for as long as she needs to. This is the only way she’ll learn to stop being hungry in the night. When your baby is really little she’ll probably wake up naturally for that food as her small tummy will empty quickly, but as she gets older she can sleep for longer without needing to feed. There’s some research that says you go into a deep sleep after 90 minutes and will remain in that sleep pattern for the next four to six hours before you start to wake up naturally for morning. By that reckoning, if you start waking your baby up a few hours after you put her down, you risk disturbing her during her deepest sleep.
I tried both options. For me, the second option worked better – at least it did with Chester, as he learnt to sleep through from 7pm to 7am much quicker than my first two children.
I think you can only make this decision when you get to that point and know what works for you and your baby.
I always put Harry and Belle down at 7pm and did the dream feed at around 11pm. With Chester, though, because his reflux made sleeping difficult for him, I couldn’t bring myself to wake him up at 11pm when he was fast asleep.
On the move: breastfeeding in public …
Being able to breastfeed in public gives you so much freedom. It takes a while to perfect, but once you and your baby get used to it it’s the most hassle-free way to feed when you’re away from home. There may be onlookers who will make you feel like you should remove yourself to the nearest mother and baby room, but I say go for it. If anyone’s got an issue, it’s their issue! I always had one of those breastfeeding scarves that went around my neck and then over the baby – not because I thought I was going to offend anyone, but for me breastfeeding is very personal and I just thought it was nicer for the baby to feel all snug and warm. You can get clever versions now with a semi-rigid neckline so that the material isn’t across your baby’s face and you can make eye contact with her.
You might not feel comfortable breastfeeding in public at first, and that’s normal. It’s tricky to get that latch – your baby might come on and off a few times. Then you’ll get hot and bothered and think, ‘Oh my God, I’ve got my boob out and everyone’s looking at me!’ And then, to add insult to injury, the oxytocin level dips, the milk slows and your baby gets even more annoyed and it’s just a disaster. So go easy on yourself.
It’s a good idea to have a sterilised bottle and a carton of ready-made formula with you because then you know you’ve got back-up. I learnt this the hard way, but once I did I never left the house without them! When Chester was about nine weeks old I took him to a fancy restaurant with some new mummy girlfriends and their babies. I thought, ‘I can do this, I’m a third-time mum, I’ve breastfed two other children in public,’ and almost felt the challenge of this somewhat empowering. Chester, however, had other plans. He screamed and thrashed about from the second we started. I ended up scurrying to the toilets to feed him, which didn’t work either. I went back to the table completely mortified that I couldn’t feed my child. At this point one of my mummy friends pulled a carton of formula and a bottle out of her bag and said, ‘Do you want these?’ I was so relieved. I pounced on them and vowed never to be caught short again.
Don’t expect everything to fall into place straight away. Breastfeeding is an art!
Going back to work: can you still breastfeed? …
It is possible to breastfeed and go back to work. I’ve done it. I’ve been in dressing rooms pumping milk and putting it in the fridge until I get home, and many of my colleagues have done the same. My make-up artist filled the This Morning fridge with her breast milk carefully labelled up so as not to confuse it with someone else’s … and so it didn’t end up in Phillip’s tea!
If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to keep up a good milk supply by expressing at regular intervals, or as best you can during your working day. If you’re unlucky, your supply might start to wane, and this does happen frequently. If you are one of the unlucky ones, don’t be too down on yourself. You’ve already done such an amazing job feeding your baby and given her a wonderful start in life. Once she sees your face come through that front door, she won’t be thinking about what form her next feed takes and I imagine you’ll feel the same (and probably start flooding the place before you’ve even said hello!).
Some of my mummy friends got into a routine of only breastfeeding the first feed of the day, and the last feed before bed. If you do this regularly enough your milk supply will respond, and even if nothing’s coming in all day it will be there when you get home. It’s all very clever!
ROUTINES: WHAT WORKED FOR ME
On the following pages are the routines I used for all of my babies, which I hope will be a good starting point for you and yours. A few things to bear in mind for all of them:
First, these feeding routines are all loosely based on your baby’s day beginning at 7am! If it’s 6am, everything will be an hour earlier – but if she wakes earlier than 6am, feed her and put her back to sleep, then start your day properly at 7am.
Second, the best way to tell whether your breastfed or formula-fed baby is getting enough milk is to monitor her weight, which you will do alongside the health visitor and by taking your baby to the health clinic for regular checks (see here). You’ll be told how often you need to go, but if your baby is gaining weight well you may only need to go once a month. With Harry and Belle, I used to really look forward to going to see how all our hard work was paying off. There’s nothing lovelier than getting a pat on the back from the clinic as they tell you how perfectly your baby is progressing. And whilst it was a different story with Chester, it was equally useful to get the reassurance and advice we both needed.
Third, there are days, even whole weeks, when your perfect baby will completely drop her routine. This is particularly common when a baby is poorly. Believe me, as soon as your baby gets the slightest snuffle, everything goes out of the window. Or she might be going through a growth spurt and suddenly need more food than normal. You need to try to work out what the reasons are and respond accordingly with either more or less food and cuddles. Just don’t despair. You’ll get your golden routine back in a few days, when her appetite comes back and she’s not too bunged up to sleep!
Finally, I think it’s a really good idea to keep a feeding and pooing diary. Sounds delightful! But seriously, for the first few weeks, day and night all roll into one so it’s worth keeping a note of things – or you can now even get apps that help you keep a record of everything. Let alone what breast your baby last fed off or how much of her bottle she took, you’re unlikely to remember when she last did a poo or had a wet nappy and how long she slept. Keep a record for YOU too. For example, if you’re on painkillers after a Caesarean, keep a little table of when you last took tablets and when your next ones are due. You’ll be amazed how four hours can slip by – you could swear you only fed two hours ago! Without keeping a record I would have been in real trouble. Baby brain and all that! Make life easier for yourself. Don’t attempt to keep these sorts of things in your head!
Helpful hints At this very early age, don’t put pressure on yourself to stick to these times. Your baby is so young and there’s plenty of time to get her into a routine. Something to bear in mind is that babies who are solely breastfed might need to feed more often than formula-fed babies, who often sleep longer between feeds. But, in general, your little one will need her little tummy fed every three to four hours.
Hungry cry Hungry cries are often accompanied by a baby clenching her fists and bringing them towards her face. A good way to tell when