‘Mummy?’
‘Hmm?’ I mumbled into her full head of auburn curls, inhaling the glorious smell of Timotei shampoo.
‘The stranger’s there.’
My head shot up and I followed Amy’s gaze.
‘What’s she wearing, Ames?’
‘A blue jacket.’ She pointed.
My eyes moved fast over the pedestrians opposite: shoppers, a young couple stopping briefly to kiss, an old man with his head bent in concentration, a street seller flogging pashminas. Of all the roads in London, Oxford Street was a minefield when it came to spotting a person you recognise, let alone a stranger. I focused on the scene again, my eyes filtering the fast flow of pedestrians. That’s when I saw her, but I didn’t recognise her.
She stood up against a wall, stock-still. The woman did appear to be staring our way. I grabbed Amy’s hand and moved toward her, my eyes never leaving her. A taxi honked his horn as we made our way across the street.
‘Careful, love,’ the driver shouted out the window.
‘Mummy? Slow down.’ Amy clung onto my hand more tightly.
Just as we reached the other side of the road, the woman turned and walked fast past Boots and headed down Stratford Place. I started after her, my hand firm around Amy’s.
‘Mummy?’ Amy’s voice quivered ever so slightly with fear. ‘Mummy, you’re holding me too tight.’
I had come to a halt – she was moving too fast – and Amy buried her head in my jumper.
‘Mummy? You’re scaring me. Who are you following?’
‘That woman you saw. I don’t know who she is. No one, I expect. No one,’ I murmured, but there was something about her. Was it her hair or something about her face that made my skin prickle? Unease washed over me as I tried to push away the fleeting images of Bethany skipping through my mind. ‘I just wanted to find out if the woman you saw thought she knew us,’ I said, aware of Amy’s frightened eyes on me.
‘But the woman I was talking about headed down to the Tube.’ She looked momentarily perplexed, but then, and not for the first time, gave me an encouraging smile; my daughter had taken on the role of mother. ‘Can we go to Claire’s now?’
‘Of course,’ I agreed, but I was distracted, because I thought I had seen the woman walking fast along the street. I shook my head, gave a small shrug of my shoulders and smiled. ‘Come on then. Let’s get that charm bracelet, shall we?’
She nodded and we moved off, me inwardly counting the cracks in the pavement: three, six, nine. I looked over my shoulder just as we went to round the corner and gasped aloud as I stepped on the tenth crack. Amy hadn’t noticed as she hurtled toward the shops, but I looked behind me once more. The woman had most definitely gone, but the knot in the pit of my stomach hadn’t.
One month later
The twenty yards or so separating us gave me time to put my sunglasses on and take a deep, cleansing breath. I hadn’t slept for more than a couple of hours, worried about spending a day with Paul. I couldn’t remember the last time we had been together, the three of us. Perhaps this was the first time in three years. Sure, he was there when I picked Amy up on a Saturday but, otherwise, we kept our distance.
Soon, my anxiety was quashed by children’s squeals of delight, the smell of candyfloss and the warm, comforting heat of October sunshine and, I thought, how bad could it be? I spotted Paul and Amy stood on the corner of Acton Green and quickened my pace. Despite setting out early, the Tube had been on go-slow.
‘Sophie, nice of you to make it.’ Paul looked at his watch.
‘The Tube. Signalling problems.’
‘You should’ve set out earlier.’
I turned to Amy. ‘Hello, darling.’
‘Hi.’ She smiled up at me. ‘Happy birthday.’
‘Thank you. Getting pretty old, huh?’ She laughed momentarily before running off. ‘Even in a month she changes, doesn’t she?’
‘Children do that.’
‘Here are the tickets.’ I opened my wallet and handed the small pink slips to Paul. ‘I bought them online to save queuing.’
We walked in silence and joined Amy at the entrance. Paul handed the tickets to the official before Amy ran off again.
‘Ames, wait up,’ I called out.
‘Amy!’ Paul tried this time, jogging after her.
Amy turned around. ‘Yeah?’ she shouted.
‘Slow down there, cowgirl,’ he said breathlessly and hugged her close, kissing the top of her head. The gesture made me tense; my stomach churned up.
I walked fast to catch up.
‘Come on, let’s go!’ Amy skipped about in front of us, eager to explore.
‘What do you want to go on first?’ Paul asked.
‘The rollercoaster,’ she said, without pause for thought.
‘OK, you’re going to have to count me out.’ I put my hands in the air in mock-surrender. ‘Unless you want a very ill Mummy on your hands.’
‘I’ll take her then,’ Paul said, shooting me a look. ‘One of us has to be with her.’
‘How about I take you on the teacup ride later, Amy?’
‘OK, but the rollercoaster first.’ She rolled her eyes.
‘Right.’ I cleared my throat. ‘I’ll go and get a bottle of water then. You guys want anything?’
They shook their heads and started toward the rollercoaster. I spent the next ten minutes wandering through the crowds before I stopped to buy a bottle of Evian. The rollercoaster stood some way off in the distance and I could just about make out Paul and Amy taking off their belts and dismounting the ride, chatting happily. To my alarm, Paul pointed to the ground and walked off. Amy stood obediently next to the ride and I tried to catch her attention with a wave but she didn’t see me.
I dodged a pram as it mowed its way across my path and walked straight through a gaggle of teenagers shouting over the top of my head. The fairground was swollen with people moving in all directions and the air was thick with the smell of fast food. I looked in Amy’s direction again, now having to stand on tiptoes to see over the crowds.
My heart started to beat faster; panic flooding my body. A stranger, a woman in a black coat approached Amy and started chatting to her. It was the woman, the woman from outside the hamburger joint last month. Walking faster now, I had her in my eye line but I was still too far away. My breath caught as I watched her stoop down to Amy’s eye level and unfurl her hand. I couldn’t see her face but she appeared to hand something to Amy and Amy giggled with delight. A cold sweat engulfed me and I wanted to scream for everyone to get out of my way. My daughter was in trouble and I needed to get to her. I had told Amy never to talk to strangers but she was such a trusting child. I watched the woman stand upright and ruffle Amy’s auburn curls. I didn’t know who the woman was, and I ran faster.
‘Amy!’ I shouted, my words swallowed whole by the milling crowds. ‘Amy!’
A young woman stepped in front of me