English: A Story of Marmite, Queuing and Weather. Ben Fogle. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Ben Fogle
Издательство: HarperCollins
Серия:
Жанр произведения: Юмор: прочее
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9780008222260
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      CHAPTER TWO

       THE SHIPPING FORECAST

      ‘And now the Shipping Forecast, issued by the Met Office on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency at 05:00 today.’

      I am in Central London. It’s 4.30 a.m. and the sun is beginning to rise on England’s capital city. The sky is streaked with long red wisps of orange and red on a canvas of pale blue sky. Heavy grey smudges of rain hang across the horizon, dropping midsummer rain. Flocks of green parakeets dance from tree to tree in Regent’s Park as I head towards Portland Place and one of the most iconic components of our establishment, the BBC.

      I have worked for the BBC for nearly two decades and many of its programmes are rightly considered national treasures: The Archers, Blue Peter, Desert Island Discs … but for me it has always been the Shipping Forecast, the five-minute weather update for mariners, that symbolizes all that is great about this institution.

      I can remember as a child hearing the forecast, marvelling at the often alien-sounding names and wondering what it all meant. The curious mix of words: Viking, Dogger, German Bight. They were so strange and exotic and mysterious. I was enthralled, and that fascination has lasted a lifetime – at home I still have a large map on which each area is labelled and marked off.

      I have visited all of the regions; I have experienced the best and the worst of the weather, on land and at sea. But I had never visited the home of the Shipping Forecast … until now.

      Chris Aldridge, the senior announcer at BBC Radio 4, invited me to sit in one morning. And so it was that, long before London had woken, I found myself journeying across the deserted city to Broadcasting House. Chris has been reading the shipping forecast for over twenty years and calculates that he has intoned the names of the familiar locations over three thousand times.

      Broadcasting House was deserted except for a couple of security guards in the lobby. ‘Hi Ben,’ grinned Chris as he ushered me up through the doors. ‘Sorry about the early start.’ Up on the fourth floor, the Today programme office was a hive of activity as they prepared for their Monday morning show. Justin Webb and Sarah Montague sat in silence in the middle of the office preparing their scripts,

      ‘Morning.’ I smiled, trying to look cool and unflappable. ‘Nice weather!’ I added. What was I doing talking about the weather with the country’s premier news presenters? The Radio 4 Today programme is another BBC institution and I was a little in awe.

      ‘Here we go,’ said Chris, settling me into the small studio, where a bank of televisions were broadcasting various news channels. In the middle was a huge digital clock. It read 5.13 a.m.

      ‘This is Matt, our producer,’ he introduced me. ‘And this is Stav.’ Stavros Danaos, one of the BBC’s weather forecasters, sat at the microphone clutching his notes and the all-important forecast.

      5.20. ‘A minute to broadcast,’ announced Matt through the headphones.

      Stav cleared his throat as Chris introduced the Shipping Forecast.

      There is not one individual who is the voice of the Shipping Forecast. I knew that there must be more than one because I had heard both male and female presenters reading the forecast, but I was surprised to hear that there are as many as twenty who rotate.

      The complexities of the data to non-mariners mean that new presenters must take a special Shipping Forecast course to learn the significance of each piece of information, ensuring the correct intonation. ‘You must learn not to say “Gale 8” with a rising intonation on the 8,’ explained Chris as Stav prepared to deliver his missive to mariners across the British Isles, ‘On the Beaufort Scale, 8 is a gale, therefore it’s important not to read it with a raised intonation, but to lift the 9 afterwards.’

      Stav’s smooth voice delivered the information with confidence and authority. It was strange hearing it produced in such neutral surroundings, given all the years of listening to it while being buffeted by gales.

      There are warnings of gales in Trafalgar.

      The general synopsis at midnight:

      High Scandinavia 1038, expected Norwegian Sea 1036 by 0600 tomorrow. Low 200 miles west of Sole 994 expected Fitzroy 1001 by same time.

      The area forecasts for the next 24 hours:

      Viking, North Utsire, South Utsire: Variable 3 or 4. Slight, occasionally moderate. Fair. Good.

      South Forties: Easterly or northeasterly 5 to 7. Moderate or rough. Showers. Good.

      North Forties, Cromarty: Easterly 4 or 5, occasionally 6 in south. Moderate, occasionally rough. Showers. Good.

      Forth, Tyne, Dogger: East or northeast 5 or 6. Moderate. Showers. Good.

      Fisher: Northeast 5 to 7. Moderate or rough. Showers. Good.

      German Bight, Humber: Northeast 5 or 6. Slight or moderate. Showers. Good.

      Thames, Dover: Mainly east or northeast 4 or 5, occasionally 6 later. Slight or moderate. Showers. Moderate or good.

      Wight, Portland: East 4 or 5, occasionally 6 later. Slight or moderate. Showers. Good.

      Plymouth: East or southeast 5 to 7. Moderate or rough. Showers. Good.

      Biscay: Southeast backing east 5 to 7, perhaps gale 8 later. Moderate or rough. Occasional rain or showers. Mainly good.

      South Fitzroy: Southerly at first in east, otherwise westerly becoming cyclonic later, 5 or 6. Moderate or rough, becoming rough or very rough. Occasional rain or thundery showers. Good, occasionally poor.

      North Fitzroy, Sole: Southeasterly backing easterly 6 to gale 8, occasionally severe gale 9, becoming cyclonic 5 or 6 for a time in west. Rough or very rough, occasionally high later. Occasional rain. Good, occasionally poor.

      Lundy, Fastnet: Southeast backing east 5 to 7. Moderate or rough. Showers. Good.

      Irish Sea: East or northeast 5 or 6. Slight or moderate. Showers. Good.

      Shannon: Southeast 7 to severe gale 9, backing east 5 to 7. Rough or very rough. Occasional rain. Good, occasionally poor.

      Southwest Rockall: Southeasterly 5 to 7. Rough or very rough. Fair. Good.

      Northeast Rockall, Malin, Hebrides, Bailey: Southeasterly 5 or 6. Moderate or rough. Fair. Good.

      Fair Isle: Easterly or southeasterly 3 or 4, occasionally 5 in southwest. Slight or moderate. Fair. Good.

      Faeroes: South or southeast 4 or 5, occasionally 6 later. Slight or moderate, becoming moderate or rough later. Mainly fair. Good.

      Southeast Iceland: Southerly or southeasterly 5 or 6. Moderate or rough. Occasional rain, mainly in west, fog patches at first. Moderate or good, occasionally very poor at first.

      Once Stav had finished, Matt’s voice came through the headphones, ‘Listen to this,’ and with the click of a button, the clean, clear forecast became slightly distorted with the crackle of interference. ‘You’re hearing it through a shortwave transistor radio we have hidden in the depths of the BBC,’ he explained. ‘We use it to ensure we are still broadcasting and to check what the listeners are hearing.’

      I loved the idea that a tiny old-fashioned radio, gathering cobwebs somewhere in a largely forgotten office, was still in use while the rest of the building hummed with the latest in broadcasting equipment.

      Even though most modern ships have on-board technology that gives the same information, even though much of the listening audience