She wouldn’t answer one way or the other. I refuse to choose, she said. A couple days later Dad moved out.
Mom and Dad kept up their appearances at bridge night for a few weeks, playing as a team against other couples like they had been doing for years. Their friends all held out hope that they would get back together. Jan and Norm were seen as the perfect match.
Mom’s eyes blinked a few times, as if tamping something down, and she turned back to the weeds in the pot. I tugged on the string attached to my zipper and began peeling off the wetsuit. I wasn’t holding out hope that they would get back together—I had known them as two separate entities far longer than as a couple, so it seemed normal to me.
So, he said when he came astride me.
I looked up at him, brushing my hair out of my eyes. His shoulders were silhouetted and they looked wide and blocky—a powerful image.
Nick’s full of shit, Ollestad. Don’t listen to him.
I know, I said, thinking Dad never said that to Nick’s face. They were always real friendly to each other and there was never any sign of tension. Not even jealousy. At least none that I ever saw.
Steer clear of him, okay? said Dad. That’s what I do.
I thought of how I might do that, maneuvering around his body in the living room, eating dinner in my room, playing with Sunny in my fort.
What if he grabs me?
My dad looked away, casting something off again, this time into the muted light. He made a faint growling sound in his chest that I’d heard before.
Don’t say anything to Nick, my dad grumbled. Nod your head and just stay out of his path.
I was perplexed, trying to figure out how to do that, and he added,
Stay at Eleanor and Lee’s as much as possible while I’m gone.
Dad knew that Eleanor showered me with unconditional love, that she was my fairy godmother. Everyone always said that Eleanor and I had an immediate, inexplicable connection from the moment I was born. And I never passed up a chance to stay with her and get treated like a prince, so I said okay.
I’ll call Eleanor when I get home, he said.
I nodded and he looked worried. He put his hand on my shoulder.
I’ll be back later, he said. We’ll see how you feel in a couple hours. Okay?
I nodded again, not understanding what a couple hours would change.
He moved directly in front of me, reeling me in with his infectious smile.
See you in a couple hours, he said.
Okay, I said.
He took the walkway toward the access road this time, stepped into the sun and vanished.
I spent the rest of the morning at my fort with Sunny. I came home to get some milk because it was hot out. My mom was on the phone and I guzzled half the bottle.
Norman. Wait.
She hung up the phone.
That was your dad.
Yeah.
He wants you to come with him to Grandma and Grandpa’s.
I scrunched my face.
It’ll be fun, she said. You guys will surf on the way down and the ferry’s really neat. And you know Grandma and Grandpa will be thrilled to see you. Besides you get to skip a week of summer school.
There was no accounting for the fact that my fear of surfing in Mexico outweighed my fear of confronting Nick again, even after he had just given my mom a black eye.
I don’t want to go, I said.
Well you’ll have to talk about it with your father. He wants you over there right now. Let’s pack up.
She moved toward my room. Staying put, I rested my hand on Sunny’s head.
Norman.
I shook my head.
Why do I have to go?
Because. Because it will be good for everyone. You haven’t seen your grandparents since last summer. Don’t you miss them?
No.
Well according to your father you’re going, so you’ll have to work it out with him.
Why? I thought Sandra was going.
Apparently she’s not going anymore.
Shit, I said.
IASCENDED FROM the baby tree, trying to veer out of the icy funnel. I reached my right arm as far to the right as possible, anchored my fingertips into the ice and raked my body laterally. I repeated this several times before my fingers gouged crust instead of ice and I knew I was outside the funnel. It took a long time, maybe thirty minutes, to climb the remaining twenty feet to my dad. I wasn’t going to slip again. I knew I had gotten lucky nabbing that tree.
I hiked past pilot Rob. His disembodied nose was dusted over and one side of his body was collecting snow, forming a drift. Soon he would just be a lump under the snow. A fact, like the wind and cold, that I filed away, not quite believing.
My dad was only two or three feet above me when I found him. Same position: seated, his upper body doubled over, his wrists bent over his knees.
I put my lips to his ear.
Dad. Wake up. Wake up.
I shook him and that broke my footing. My feet skated for purchase and I had to let go of him for fear of dislodging him and sending the two of us down the ice slide. The snow was softer in this spot and luckily my fingers got a good hold. I decided to dig out a shoe step so that I could attend to him.
While I kicked my shoe toes into the crust Sandra began to jabber—a circle of mixed-up words and phrases. My Vans only blunted against the snow, hammering my toes until the pain forced me to stop. I looked to my right and uphill a few feet. Sandra was still perched on the edge of the funnel. I watched her for a moment. Her eyes drifted, the lids opening and closing in time with her alternating eruptions and low murmurs. Consciously I turned her noise level down and she faded away.
I kicked into the snow again. My feet were numb and stiff now and that helped me hack out a step. Then with my other foot I hacked out another step. I had two secure leverage points. I clamped both hands around my dad’s arm and shook him.
Wake up. Dad. Dad. Dad!
Wind spearheaded down the chute and scraps of plane teetered and I heard my seat groan, making me turn my head. Poof, my seat shot down the curtain. Gone in a flash. I let go of my dad, worried again that I might send the two of us down the icy chute.
I rested my palm on my dad’s back. He didn’t seem to be breathing. What if Sandra’s right, I thought. What if he’s dead?
I watched the wind-driven snow thrash from all directions, wave after wave. My toes cramped from having to grip the tiny notches in the snow—the only thing keeping me from plunging down like my seat. Another blast of wind nearly tipped me backward and I had to hug close to the ice curtain. Even the trees I saw earlier looked cold and afraid, huddling for protection, I thought.
The wind hushed and I leaned toward my dad again.
Daddy, I said, pressing my palm to his back.
But he was folded in two like a broken table.
He had taught me to ride big waves, had pulled me from tree wells and fished me out of suffocating powder. Now it was my turn to save him.
I