What becomes obvious as we relax and become more mindful is that as we go with all this, we become a little calmer and importantly, our thoughts do quite naturally begin to slow down. Again, we do not need to do anything more than what we have been doing for this to happen. This is a process based on relaxation—focused relaxation, it is true, but relaxation, mindfulness and natural ease. We just focus on doing the exercises, go with the flow as they say, and by doing so we progress quite easily and reliably.
And as we do this, a remarkable thing unfolds. As we notice our thoughts more clearly, we notice how each individual thought has a starting point, a middle and an end point. Obviously each and every thought we have has to start somewhere, and to finish somewhere. And as we relax more, as we become more mindful, this fact just becomes more obvious. We notice when we first become aware of a particular thought, we notice it passing through our awareness, and we notice when it finishes.
Then another really useful observation. As our thoughts begin to slow a little and we notice them more clearly, we notice that after one thought finishes, and before another thought starts, there is often a small gap.
Now in the gap between our two thoughts, there is obviously a moment of silence, a moment of stillness. So now we turn our attention, our awareness, to noticing the gap between the thoughts. And again, when we do this mindfully, free of judgment, just with an open curiosity, not only do we notice the stillness but often enough it lasts a little longer; there is a bigger gap before the next thought comes. But again we make no effort to force this or to manipulate it. We just notice it. We are patient. We are the impartial observer. Just simply curious to notice what happens.
More stillness? Another thought? What is it? We take the attitude of a patient, curious, impartial observer and do just that, we observe. We aim to treat the stillness and the thoughts in just the same way. Nonjudgmentally. With curious awareness. So we notice the stillness. We notice if and when another thought comes. We remain aware and undistracted.
And what we do notice is that the thoughts do come, and they do go. Thoughts are just like white clouds drifting across a blue sky. They come when they are ready. They go when they are ready.
The blue sky is there all the time. Vast. Pure. Pristine. Always there. The clouds just come and go. And even on the cloudiest of days, we know the sky is still there, we just cannot quite see it because of the clouds.
Meditation is like getting into an airplane on a cloudy day. When we take off, all we can see are the clouds everywhere. We fly up through those clouds, break through, and there it is again, like a big canopy stretching above us, the vast, blue sky. It was always there, it was just that we could not see it from the ground. We needed the plane. We needed to learn how to fly.
So it is with our thoughts. Sometimes our mind is full of them. Sometimes it may even seem as if we have a raging storm going on inside. But we can always use meditation to reconnect with that other aspect of our mind, that deeper stillness.
Sure our thoughts can be really useful, but sometimes they can be too much, too problematic. Sometimes we can suffer from excessive thinking! What a relief to know that there is a way out. That there is always the possibility we can turn our attention from the active thoughts, to the stillness. It is like on a cloudy day, we choose to focus on what we can see of the blue sky rather than what we can see of the clouds.
And in our meditation, as we move our attention from the thoughts to the stillness, we come to realize that the stillness is just like the sky is to the clouds. The stillness is ever present. It is there all the time. Vast. Pure. Untouched. The thoughts come and go but the stillness, like the sky, is always there.
Now be reminded once again that while thinking can obviously be very useful, there is great benefit in letting go of the thinking for a while—of going beyond the thinking into that deep natural peace of this stillness where balance is restored and sustained for body, emotions and clarity of mind. We may even reconnect with the essence of who we really are in that stillness.
And there is another powerful truth here. You must have noticed that even after the darkest clouds, the worst storm, sooner or later it does actually clear and the blue sky reemerges. And despite the worst storm, the sky is never stained.
Sure, there is a part of us that can feel pain, we can be ill, we can have troubling thoughts. Our personal storms can take many forms. But this is one of the really wonderful discoveries that comes with meditation: No matter how difficult things have been or may be now, no matter how stormy, there is always a part of us that is unstainable, untouchable and inviolable. There is this inner essence, this core of our being that is good, pure, whole and unstainable.
Knowing this brings a deep inner satisfaction and contentment. To experience the truth of who we really are, to directly experience that in our essence we are whole, pure and good—this is the real heart of meditation. This is what brings a confidence to all we do. This is what helps to bring out the best in all we do. This is what brings a gentle smile to the face of so many meditators. This is the truth of who we really are and the truth of how we can be.
Summary • How to Meditate
To put it really simply: Having prepared well, we relax. Relaxing more deeply, we become more mindful. As our mindfulness develops, the stillness naturally reveals itself. We rest in open, undistracted awareness. Easy as that.
This is the essence of mindfulness-based stillness meditation, and this, the main meditation technique that is recommended, is set out at the end of the next chapter.
Time to Practice
Finally then, what level of commitment is required? Quality of life or quantity of life? Your aims and priorities must be very clear. Any time allocation has to be balanced by your needs, your beliefs and your other commitments.
Quality of life is vastly improved by doing ten to twenty minutes once or twice daily. To make an impact on quantity of life, to aim for recovery, three longer sessions per day from forty minutes up to one hour each are recommended.
I feel it very important to set yourself a goal in this regard. Work out your priorities and set a goal for the coming week. It is far better to set a conservative goal to begin with and succeed in meeting it than to fall short of an overambitious target.
So having set your goal, practice for a week. Then assess your results, reassess your goals and priorities, and reset your target. Remember that it is probable that you will have what seem to be good sessions and ordinary ones to begin with. The more meditation you do, the more repeatable and the more satisfying it becomes.
When I first began, my situation was critical and I did about five hours a day for three months. I then did three hourly sessions for the next year, then around an hour each day ever since. Also, for many years I have continued to regularly attend (or give) more intensive meditation retreats. This is obviously a big time commitment. I did it when I was ill because it felt good and it gave me results. I continue to do around an hour each day for the same reasons.
If quality of life is your aim, and time appears short, ten to twenty minutes twice a day will help you a lot. I remember the story from many years ago of a man who had been estimated to have three weeks to live. He went to Dr. Meares full of enthusiasm for his ideas around meditation and was keen to begin. However, on being told he would need to spend three hours a day at it, he replied, “Oh, I haven’t time for that” and left!