Emily tried to fight against her increasing panic. Lucy had already explained diminished responsibility to her, but this was the first time she’d mentioned voluntary manslaughter. ‘What do you mean, only?’
Lucy chose not to answer that. ‘Furthermore, Dr Irvine’s report will help us to exonerate you from the murder charge.’ Dr Rosamund Irvine was the psychiatrist who’d been treating and assessing Emily since shortly after her arrest. ‘She has said that you’re suffering from depression. Your self-harming and suicide attempt support this, according to her.’
Emily had cut into the skin on her forearm with a plastic knife she’d taken from the canteen. She’d also stored up her antidepressants and painkillers for several days and had taken them all together. But the knife had broken easily and she hadn’t had nearly enough pills to do herself any real damage. Her psychiatrist had told her it was a cry for help, and that help was here now.
‘Dr Irvine has stated that your depression started before your father was killed, and that’s vital,’ Lucy continued. ‘This will show that your mental state was too fragile at the time for you to be accountable for, um, your actions. Dr Irvine’s conclusions will be backed up by the psychologist you were referred to by your GP last October.’
Emily raised her eyebrows. She’d had just two sessions with this psychologist. He’d seemed completely indifferent to what she’d told him, which wasn’t very much.
‘Emily,’ Lucy’s tone was even softer than before. ‘I’m very confident that diminished responsibility will be applied. That will allow the judge discretion as to how to pass sentence. It will depend on the judge, of course. But I think we should be optimistic. Given your circumstances and your, um, mental health, you’ll be given a hospital order so that you can get the treatment you need rather than a sentence based on punishment.’
‘How long?’
‘My guess is a maximum stay of three years in a care home. You’ll probably be back home in eighteen months.’
Emily flinched.
‘Or you can go somewhere else when you’re released,’ Lucy amended hastily. ‘You’ll be seventeen after all.’
That was a shorter period than Emily had feared.
‘Is there anything that won’t work in my favour?’
‘Well, in one of your interviews, DS Tomlinson commented on your lack of remorse, but I’m hoping that the judge will be more sympathetic. I can’t see how Tomlinson expected you to regret your father’s death.’
Emily nodded. Amanda had told her to look contrite in court, but Emily wasn’t sure she could manage that. Amanda was a talented actress; she loved participating in school plays. Emily had only ever helped with the artwork for the scenery. Anyway, DS Tomlinson was right. Emily didn’t feel at all sorry. Why should she? She was aware that some of her answers in her interviews had sounded unemotional, even cold. She sometimes felt as though all this had happened to someone else.
‘The detective sergeant’s remark should be countered to a large extent by Dr Irvine’s diagnosis,’ Lucy said. ‘Your psychiatrist will show that you are showing the classic symptoms of a victim of abuse. Depression, and anorexia obviously, and post-traumatic stress disorder. She’ll also say that you are showing signs of dissociative identity disorder. Apparently, dissociating can be a coping mechanism after extreme childhood trauma and this explains why you might seem detached at times.’
‘What about the evidence?’
‘Well, that’s nearly all unequivocally against you: your fingerprints were on the weapon – along with your father’s since it was his gun, and your sister’s since she’d taken it from your hands; the blood on your nightwear matched that of your father…’ Lucy counted off each point on her fingers ‘…the ballistics was inconsistent with the blood spatter analysis, but there is nothing in either report that will help us, and, finally, you confessed in an interview that was recorded on audio tape.’
Emily tasted the coppery tang of blood and realised she’d been biting her lip. She made a conscious effort to stop. She didn’t want to show Lucy just how nervous she was.
‘But our defence is not to show you’re innocent,’ Lucy continued. ‘As I said before, it’s to highlight the abuse you’d been a victim of for some time. That way, we can have the charge commuted from murder to voluntary manslaughter.’
This time it didn’t sound quite so bad, but Emily felt far from reassured despite Lucy’s gentle, confident tone of voice. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep that night.
~
By the time Emily and Lucy had finished talking, night was falling. Emily handed Lucy two pieces of thick sketch paper that she’d kept face down on the table. Emily watched Lucy examine her pictures. One of the drawings was of a tree with different coloured circular swirls on the ends of its long branches. Two girls were sitting under the tree eating ice cream. Emily had tried to use bright colours, but the picture looked a little dark, even to her eyes.
‘For your daughters,’ she said. ‘The other one is for your sons.’
In the other picture, a hammock was suspended from a similar tree. Two black dogs peered from the hammock, their bright red tongues hanging out.
‘They’re beautiful!’ Lucy exclaimed. ‘You’re really gifted!’ Emily forced a smile. ‘Don’t worry about the trial, Emily. I’m certain it will go well. You’re young, and any judge will see you’re the real victim.’
Emily was reminded of Amanda’s retort that night to one of the arresting officers when he’d realised it was their father’s blood on their nightclothes.
‘The girls aren’t hurt. It’s the victim’s blood,’ he’d said to his colleague.
‘Our father is definitely not the victim here,’ Amanda had spat at him. Emily had worshipped her sister more than ever for that remark.
‘I’ve got something for you, too,’ Lucy said, interrupting Emily’s reflection. ‘I’ll leave it with the director.’ She held up a carrier bag. ‘For you to wear in court tomorrow.’
Emily was touched by her lawyer’s thoughtfulness and generosity, but dreaded what sort of clothes she might have selected. Lucy pulled out a navy knee-length skirt, black shoes, a light blue and white checked blouse and a white woollen cardigan, all from NEXT. Emily was pleasantly surprised.
‘Thank you.’ Emily managed to lean over the table and kiss Lucy on the cheek before she was scolded by the officer on duty from his position in the corner of the meeting room.
~
That evening after dinner, Emily didn’t even need to make herself sick. The following morning after breakfast, she also felt so nauseous that she vomited several times without sticking her fingers down her throat. Emily’s hands shook as she tried to do up the button of her new skirt. The waistband was tight around her stomach, which felt bloated even though it was empty.
It was the first day of the court case.
Lucy had informed her that Mrs Justice Taylor QC would be presiding. A female judge. Emily had no idea what effect this would have on the outcome of her trial. When she’d allowed herself to think about the court proceedings, she’d always visualised a male judge. But perhaps a woman would be more sympathetic. Emily hoped so.