Yep, today was going to be a great day, until thirty seconds ago when I pulled up outside the deli to meet Mike.
‘Oh sh—’
‘Exactly,’ he laughs. ‘Cow, I’d guess.’
‘But…how?’
We stand together at the front of the deli, staring at what used to be a beautifully clean stone wall. Today, however, it’s covered in cow dung.
‘And you thought the drains smelled bad,’ Mike laughs.
‘Mike, it isn’t funny,’ I insist. ‘You know someone has done this on purpose, right?’
‘No?’ he replies. ‘Surely not…’
‘Well, unless a herd of cows just happened to pass by last night – cows who have perfected their aim, and the art of synchronised sh…sitting.’
I’m quick to correct myself. Just because Frankie isn’t here, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.
‘I was thinking maybe it was just because of a malfunctioned tractor or something – that’s pretty effed up,’ Mike replies, rubbing his stubbly chin. I can’t help but notice he edited himself there, which means he’s obviously picking up on my efforts. ‘The locals really don’t want this deli to open, do they?’
‘They don’t. You know they’ve got some little town Facebook group where they talk about us, right?’
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