My mind whirred with the possibility that I had neglected to take in Zoe’s whereabouts. No, surely I hadn’t been that preoccupied, had I? Guilt once again started to seep in at the edge of my consciousness.
‘No.’ I shook my head, tears brimming. ‘I don’t think so.’
He slammed the counter with his fist. ‘You don’t think so! Jesus.’
I jumped as the tight ball of his hand met the counter and glanced at Carter. The detective stared hard at his notebook. Stephen was wound tight; I could see it, ever since we had discovered Zoe missing, and I would be bearing the brunt of it.
‘Stephen, no…’ I shook my head. ‘No, she didn’t mention anything to me.’
When my statement was met with silence, I swallowed hard and continued. He needed to hear what I had to say. ‘I’m worried, Stephen, that we’re missing something. You see, Keira told me about the farm. She has no reason to lie about something like that and perhaps…’ I tried to keep my voice even. ‘Perhaps Keira pressurised her to play their stupid game up at the farm. It makes sense, doesn’t it? Our daughter was pressurised by Keira to go up to that farm and Jerry Wyre took it too far.’ I nodded definitively, and when he simply stared at the floor, a sob of pent-up emotion filled the room, shocking me with its force. Stephen brought his head up fast.
Finally. He was listening. I was now filled with conviction about Zoe’s whereabouts. ‘Our daughter is somewhere in that farmhouse.’ I looked at the ceiling in frustration, as if sending a prayer to whoever might be listening. ‘She’s up at the farm. I can feel it.’
‘They’ve looked, so please don’t get your hopes up,’ replied Carter.
‘She’s a sixteen-year-old girl. How can the man hide a sixteen-year-old girl?’ Stephen spoke through gritted teeth. ‘Why would a young, beautiful girl get involved with a man more than twice her age?’
I thought briefly about Robert and flinched inwardly.
Stephen sat down at the table, defeated. ‘God, I hope she’s okay.’ He looked at me, tears in his eyes. ‘This shouldn’t be happening to me. Freya, listen, you need to calm down, we both do. We need to focus on the real possibilities. Not strange ideas you have about our neighbours.’
I was dumbstruck. ‘To us,’ I corrected him.
‘What?’ He looked at me.
‘You said “this shouldn’t be happening to me”, and it’s not.’ I clenched my jaw. ‘It’s happening to us.’
He glowered but didn’t respond, then just as quickly paled. ‘Fuck, what if she’s found dead.’
I gave a short gasp, the word alone one that I had entertained briefly but hadn’t allowed my mind to take any further. How could he say it so bluntly? How could he bring death into this conversation? ‘Dead?’
Dead. Dead? That was impossible. We were talking about Zoe: our daughter, our only child. She had her whole life ahead of her… An image of Zoe running towards me after her first day of primary school spun into my mind, taking my breath away. I remembered how excited she had been and how she had hugged my legs so tight and chattered excitedly all the way home. I hadn’t thought about that day in years and now…
The room started to spin and I grabbed at the side of the kitchen table. Unable to grip its edge, I collapsed, landing heavily on the floor.
***
I could hear a voice, calling for me. As I surfaced, DI Carter appeared at my side. Stephen held my head in a firm, vice-like grip.
‘What happened?’ I asked, my brain a fug.
‘You fainted.’ Carter looked at me, his eyes serious. ‘Have you eaten today?’
I shook my head. ‘No.’
DI Carter helped me up onto a chair and turned to Stephen. ‘I wonder if I might have a minute to chat with your wife?’
Stephen looked unsure. However, he relented and walked from the room.
I rested my head in my hands. ‘I just can’t... I just…’ I looked at DI Carter. ‘You don’t think she’s dead, do you?’
Carter sat down next to me and released a slow, drawn-out breath. ‘I don’t know, but we’re doing everything in our power.’
‘You let him go.’ My gaze flitted upwards. ‘The farmer.’
‘Yes. We’ve searched his property and my team have scoured the land. Nothing.’ He pursed his lips. ‘You have to understand that we have no evidence.’
I sat bolt upright. ‘Keira must have the videos, surely?’
He nodded. ‘As I say, we’re investigating further.’
‘You need to get a hold of them.’
‘Have you even seen any of these videos?’
‘No.’ I shook my head, saddened by the realisation that I had just accepted the strange games they played, not thought to question them. How removed had I become from my daughter’s life?
‘Keira described them as…’ He glanced at his notebook. ‘Truth or Dare videos. Can you tell me more about them?’
I wiped angry tears from my cheeks. ‘Sorry.’ I indicated the tears.
‘It’s understandable, Mrs Hall. Take your time.’
‘I thought they had stopped making those years ago. They used to make silly videos with a smartphone when they were, like, twelve, maybe thirteen, but then as they grew older, they tired of it, thought it was all too immature. We used to laugh at the way they took turns playing director.’ Tears smarted in my eyes. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t take them more seriously. I never asked what was in their videos. Did Keira tell you?’
‘No,’ he said, his eyes returning to his notepad. He sat back in the chair.
I gripped the edge of the table, my knuckles turning white. ‘Do you have children?’
He nodded. ‘Two. Twins. They’re thirteen. I don’t see them much. Their mother grew tired of living with a policeman. She said it wasn’t healthy for our children to wonder whether their father would be back that night or… at all.’
I nodded. ‘That’s got to be tough.’ It sparked a memory of what the farmer’s wife had said and I started to speak aloud, digesting my earlier conversation.
‘The woman said Zoe needed better parenting.’ My chest tightened. ‘Better parenting, can you believe it? It was as if she was suggesting that Zoe was just there to seek attention. She’s sixteen. A beautiful, confident girl. I’m quite sure she would just come to one of us if she was having problems.’
‘Who are you talking about? Who said that she was an attention-seeker?’
‘The farmer’s wife. Mrs Wyre.’
He drew a deep breath. ‘I’d like to ask you a couple more questions about Zoe, if you’re up to it?’
I had sensed that was why he was back. I was happy to help in any way I could. ‘Of course. Fire away.’
‘You said that she’s confident?’
‘Yes, very.’ I gave a small smile. ‘Like Stephen. She wanted to be…’ I stopped, catching myself and my stomach flipped, perturbed, as I watched the DI note something – had it been my slip-up? – in his notebook. ‘She wants to be an actress, to live in London. You know… all that glittery stuff young girls dream