Coming back to Bare Border hadn’t been a dream after all. Too bad.
As though my movements were their own version of an alarm, someone rapped on the door.
‘I’m up, Madi,’ I grumbled.
‘It’s Ben.’ The door creaked open and one big brown eye peered in at me through the crack.
‘It’s storming. Can I get in bed with you?’
I was surprised but tried not to show it. I’d only met my nephew yesterday. ‘Yes, of course.’
I pushed the covers back and motioned for him to crawl in beside me. He bounded toward me like a Saint Bernard minus the slobber. He jumped up and down on the bed, to the count of eight, then wriggled like a worm beneath the blankets.
I wrapped an arm around him and sniffed his soft brown hair. It was too long, scruffy around his ears and hanging too low in his eyes, but it felt soft like feathers and it smelled like the same shampoo Madeline used.
Stealing a glance at my cell phone on the nightstand, I was surprised to see it was nearly eleven in the morning. Sleeping this late wasn’t all that unusual for me, but I was surprised Madeline wasn’t up making breakfast, or whatever motherly things she did on Saturday mornings.
‘Where’s your sister?’ I asked, stroking my fingers through his hair. He shied away from me now, skirting closer to the edge of the bed.
‘She’s been up for hours, too. She’s watching Teen Titans Go. I turned it on for her and poured her a cup of juice. I did spill some on the floor though…’
‘Where’s your mom?’
‘Where’s your mom?’ he repeated my words.
Madeline told me he liked to do this too – repeat words and phrases, and sometimes echo back what he’d just heard. I wasn’t sure if I should repeat my question or move on.
‘Okay, buddy. Let’s just get up. When I was your age, I liked to watch cartoons on Saturday. What is your favorite cartoon?’
‘I don’t watch cartoons. I play Five Nights at Freddy’s. Maybe they will turn it into a cartoon. Want to play it with me?’
I assured him that I would soon and listened as he described every level of the game while I pulled on cotton shorts and my favorite morning hoodie.
Ben told me more about the game as I padded down the hallway and made my way to the kitchen. Coffee. Why hasn’t Madi made coffee yet?
‘Is your mom sleeping in, too?’ I fiddled with the fifteen buttons on the coffee machine before I realized it wasn’t plugged in. Ben didn’t answer me, just stared up at the swooshing black tail on the cat clock, hypnotized. As I scavenged through the cupboard for coffee cups, my foot landed in a puddle of juice.
‘Okay,’ I said, flustered, switching my focus to finding paper towels.
After I cleaned up the spill, I made my way toward my sister’s room. On the way, I passed Shelley. She was sitting pretzel-style on the floor in her room. She was indeed watching Teen Titans Go and her lips were stained purple from the juice drink.
The door to my sister’s bedroom was closed.
‘Does Mommy normally sleep this late? I don’t want to wake her up…’
Shelley noticed me, finally, and waddled out into the hall.
‘No, Mom’s an early bird. Early birds eat worms.’
I smiled. I might have been my mother’s favorite, but she and Madeline had a lot in common; they both liked to get up early – too early for my tastes.
‘Well, your mom and I were up pretty late last night. I probably wore her out.’
Softly, I knocked on my sister’s bedroom door, then waited. Ben clung to my legs now, squeezing my thighs like a vice grip, as he rambled on about that game.
Shelley tiptoed up beside me, gave me a knowing look, and tapped the door with her pointer finger. She was right—it wasn’t closed all the way, and when she jabbed it, the door wobbled forward.
‘Madeline, are you still asleep?’ But even from here, I could see that she wasn’t.
The bed was perfectly made, the corners tucked in tightly, military-style the way she liked them. I pushed the door all the way open. My sister wasn’t in her room.
‘Madi?’ I called out again. I’d almost forgotten, there was a master bathroom attached. I jiggled Ben off my legs and walked toward the bathroom.
But one glance inside the open door revealed she wasn’t in there either. The bathroom was pristine, clean white counters with bottles of perfume perfectly aligned.
It almost looked like she never slept in the bed or used the bathroom at all.
‘Maybe she got up early and went to the grocery store.’ I shrugged. A quick glance out the front curtains revealed I was right – the tan Jeep was gone, only the rented Civic remained in the driveway.
‘While we wait for her to get back, why don’t I make you guys a late breakfast?’ The idea of me cooking was ridiculous, but I felt like I had to do something. If I couldn’t help Madi out financially, I could at least pitch in for a little while, with housekeeping and cooking chores.
I opened the fridge and peered inside. There was plenty of food, and I thought it was unlikely that Madeline had gone out to get groceries after all.
‘How do you guys like your eggs?’ They were standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking up at me like eager puppies.
‘We don’t do eggs,’ Shelley said.
‘Ew,’ Ben concurred.
‘Okay, well, then what do you guys want to eat?’ I asked, exasperated.
‘Mac and cheese?’ Shelley suggested, with a hopeful smile.
Mac and cheese actually sounded good to me, too, and it’s one of the few things I knew how to make. In fact, pasta from a box was about all I ate myself anymore.
It took me a minute to find the macaroni, pot, and spoon. And then another few minutes to figure out how to light Madeline’s gas stove.
While I boiled the water and softened the noodles, Ben told me more about his favorite game. Shelley was intent on helping me. At first, I was worried about letting her stir, afraid she would get burned, but she seemed to know what she was doing, and she was eager to mix in the cheese and milk when it was done.
‘I’m going to be a chef,’ she told me, but it sounded more like ‘seff’ when she said it with her tiny baby voice.
I watched the children eat, my own appetite gone. Moving to the kitchen window, I looked out at the backyard from my childhood. Water shimmered on the trees in the forest, and from here, they seemed to be covered in tiny wet diamonds. But other than that, there were no traces of the storm I’d heard when I first woke up.
I wondered where Madeline had gone, and why she didn’t tell me first. What if the kids had gotten hurt and I hadn’t heard them? Would she leave me alone with the kids all the time now that I was staying here? I didn’t mind helping out, but I was definitely not equipped to be a babysitter. I didn’t have the experience, or the patience…
After lunch, Ben showed me his game and insisted I play it, too. Shelley watched and cheered us on, lining up Barbies as spectators. Finally, Ben was ready for a break, so he and Shelley played with their toys and chalkboard in the living room, while I checked the windows often, waiting for Madeline to get back.
When Shelley stood up from playing, I noticed a dark, circular stain on her pajama pants. She saw me looking, and said, ‘I peed my pants.’ Her lip trembled, and my heart lurched.
While Ben shouted for Shelley to come back and