Women are the largest oppressed group in the world, and the degrees of subjugation vary from country to country, with women in the West faring much better than their counterparts in developing parts of the world. In their 2008 Pulitzer Prize-winning book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, Nicholas Kristof and his wife, Sheryl WuDunn, argue that: ‘In the nineteenth century, the central moral challenge was slavery. In the twentieth century, it was the battle against totalitarianism. We believe that in this century the paramount moral challenge will be the struggle for gender equality around the world.’ A struggle it may be, but it’s one that will be 100 per cent worth it, given the rewards that are to be won. So, in this section, I will challenge the idea of women as ‘other’, and argue that the results – personal, cultural, and economic – of diversifying gender will be spectacularly beneficial, for women, for men, and for society as a whole.
‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.’
Marianne Williamson
On 29 May 1851, a heckler disrupted the Ohio Women’s Rights Convention, leaving the room stunned with a speech that would go down in history as one of the most iconic feminist speeches of all time.
The heckler was Sojourner Truth. Born a slave 54 years earlier, she was the complete antithesis of the aristocratic women who had gathered there to discuss female emancipation. Her ‘Ain’t I a woman?’ speech was unapologetic, courageous, and humorous, and it brought the audience to their feet with rapturous applause. Sojourner Truth’s powerful words of female empowerment were a clarion call then as they still are now:
That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain’t I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man – when I could get it – and bear the lash as well! And ain’t I a woman? I have borne 13 children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain’t I a woman?
Then they talk about this thing in the head; what’s this they call it? [A member of the audience whispers ‘intellect’.] That’s it, honey. What’s that got to do with women’s rights or negroes’ rights? If my cup won’t hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn’t you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?
Then that little man in black there, he says women can’t have as much rights as men, ’cause Christ wasn’t a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.*
Those final words are still being quoted centuries later. Sojourner Truth’s breathtaking performance at the convention would thrust her into the limelight and turn her into an icon for both gender and racial equality. A year later, she would meet Harriet Beecher Stowe – one of the celebrated abolitionists and feminists of the day – and these two great women would discuss women’s rights. In 1863, Beecher Stowe wrote an article in the Atlantic Weekly about their encounter, entitled ‘Sojourner Truth – the Libyan Sibyl’. She quoted Truth as saying: ‘If women want any rights more than they’s got, why don’t they just take them, and not be talking about it.’ If only it were that simple.
Imposter syndrome
The truth is, the gender confidence gap is real. For centuries, women have been told that they are not good enough to receive an education, not good enough to be able to vote, not good enough to have the same jobs, power, and pay as men. They have been told this so often that deep down they have learned to believe it, even though their conscious mind knows it isn’t true. So sometimes we women are our own worst barrier to change due to our learned self-criticism, our internalized misogyny, which cements our status as the ‘other’ woman – someone who never feels quite at home with success. As a starting point, we must learn to confront this self-criticism in order to embrace a diverse society.
Introducing Agyness
Truth’s courageous attitude in relation to equality is way ahead of many twenty-first-century women, even though we have far more opportunities than she could ever have dreamed of. So many of us still suffer from ‘Imposter Syndrome’, perfectly described by Sheryl Sandberg in her 2013 book, Lean In:
Many people, but especially women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments. Instead of feeling worthy of recognition, they feel undeserving and guilty, as if a mistake has been made. Despite being high achievers, even experts in their fields, women can’t seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time until they are found out for who they really are – impostors with limited skills or abilities.*
This form of female professional insecurity is something I thoroughly relate to. I spend hours on the phone with one of my dear friends, dissecting the multiple layers of this syndrome, which can manifest in a range of ways – from simple self-deprecation to all-out self-sabotage.
We decided the best way to tackle our Imposter Syndrome was to name and shame it, sort of like Beyoncé–Sasha Fierce in reverse. The only name suitable for such a destructive foe? Agyness (with no offence to any Agynesses out there). And the funny thing with Agyness is that she is unpredictable; you have no idea when she is going to rear her pernicious head. And, when she does, she can wreak havoc.
70%: the percentage of girls who believe that they are ‘not good enough’ in some way (including looks, education, and relationships).*
4%: the percentage of CEO positions held by women across Fortune 500 companies.†
I remember, a while back, Agyness had tricked me into believing she was finally gone for good. I had been overdosing on ‘you can do it’ books and thought I was permanently rid of her. While riding this Agyness-free wave, I was invited by Bill Clinton’s team to present at his annual Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) opening gala. The line-up included Matt Damon, Eva Longoria, Angélique Kidjo, Carlos Slim, and many more luminaries from the worlds of business, public life, entertainment, and philanthropy. I was brimming with excitement, and felt no nerves as I casually made small talk backstage with former president Clinton, then San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, and the actress Rosario Dawson. I felt a million dollars as I waltzed onto the stage in a black-beaded evening gown to introduce Seal, who was performing that evening. Perhaps, I thought, I was finally worthy enough to rendezvous in these revered circles … Wrong!
The next day, during the CGI preliminary session, Agyness returned with a bang. President Obama was delivering a speech on