“Don’t take me home or into town,” Faith said as she positioned herself in the seat of his dual-cab pickup and then buckled in. She hadn’t expected to play the pregnancy card with Ryder, but she was frantic. His shocked reaction braided her stomach lining.
Seeing him again had hurt like hell and she was still trying to regain her balance. He looked even better than she remembered with those sharp jet-black eyes and dark hair. He was six feet three inches of masculine muscle. And even angry, he was gorgeous. Walking away from him after finding out she was pregnant had nearly killed her, but she’d been his temporary shelter in a storm—a storm that was about to become a hurricane. Once the storm blew over and he regained his bearings he would’ve realized the same thing she had—a McCabe and an O’Brien didn’t stand a chance.
“What? Afraid to be seen with me?” he bit out. His voice poured over her, netting a physical reaction she couldn’t afford.
“Of course not.” She did her best to shake off his bitter tone. It was a temporary reaction to having his world rocked. He needed a minute to cool off so he could start thinking rationally again. It was a good sign that he wanted to talk. Deep down, he was a good man.
Besides, Faith could relate to the emotions that had to be zipping through him right now. The pregnancy wasn’t supposed to happen. The decisions she’d made after weren’t supposed to be part of her plans. And all that was predicated on the fact that she wasn’t supposed to fall for an O’Brien, let alone the renegade twin brother. And that was probably it. Her attraction was so strong because he was exciting and a breath of fresh air. Ryder had always been so alive, when she’d felt restricted for so many years living under her parents’ roof with three older brothers watching her every move. The family’s double standard that the boys could run buck wild and she had to practically be a nun had been suffocating.
Ryder represented danger and excitement, and her foolish heart had fallen hard for him when she’d seen him wandering around the lake, looking lost after news of his parents had made headlines. Everything about the O’Briens was news. Murder had been beyond scandal.
The next few months of their relationship had been insane and incredible. Secret rendezvous at his fishing cabin. Both of them escaping reality and getting lost in each other. Talking for hours into the night. She’d almost forgotten that he was an O’Brien and she was a McCabe until she’d overheard him on his cell phone with his brother, cursing her father, questioning whether he’d had anything to do with his parents’ murders.
She could understand his distrust of her father. The man was a shrewd businessman and even she could admit that he pushed the legal boundaries beyond their limits. Worse to her, the man was a philanderer, and she’d watched her mother fade over the years as she accepted his behavior even though he could be quite charming when he wanted to be. But murder?
Her father might have loose morals and no conscience when it came to business, but he wasn’t capable of killing anyone.
And then another blow had come when Ryder’s brother asked where Ryder was and what he was doing all those times he’d been with her. He’d responded that he hadn’t been doing anything special. He’d just been getting away for fresh air and spending time alone to sort out his thoughts.
Reality had been a hard slap. Spending time with her hadn’t been as special to him as it had been to her. They’d been sneaking around like teenagers and she started to wonder if the reason was because he’d been embarrassed to be seen with her. He would always be an O’Brien and she would always be a McCabe. And he, like everyone in Bluff, would always see her in a different light because of it.
When she’d learned that she was pregnant, she panicked. A real life with Ryder was out of the question. Dating Trouble and the others had been her way of throwing everyone off the trail, including Ryder. He wouldn’t want a McCabe baby any more than her parents would ever accept an O’Brien. It would be bad enough in her parents’ eyes that she was pregnant without being married, but having an O’Brien in the family would be all-out war. Not only would her parents make her life miserable but they’d make her unborn child miserable, too.
And that wasn’t even the worst of it. She feared that Ryder—who was just spending time with her, not getting serious—would want to man up and do the right thing by his child. His Texas upbringing would influence him, and he’d probably propose marriage. If hormones got the best of her—and they had made her crazy so far—she might actually accept. And then what?
Would they stay together for the sake of the child eighteen unhappy years until said kid went off to college and the two of them could finally separate? That’s exactly what her parents had done. Her own mother had been forced to come back and had never been the same. Faith’s father didn’t curb his appetite for chasing pretty much anything in a skirt. Faith had known since she was old enough to figure out what was happening. And her mother was broken. Still broken. She seemed different lately. Worse, if that was even possible.
Faith’s siblings seemed blind to it all. And they were another reason a relationship between her and Ryder could never work...if her father didn’t kill him, her brothers would. The O’Briens and McCabes were worse than oil and water. They were gasoline and forest fire.
Even so, maybe it was good that her secret was out. Working side by side, she could convince Ryder the best course of action would be to keep the secret. Surely he would come to the same conclusion she had. Besides, she had a plan.
Break the news and each guy she’d gone out with would distance himself from any suspicion of being the father of her child. And then she could tell her parents that she wanted to bring up her baby alone. She didn’t really care who the father was, even though her heart screamed at her that she did. Her father wouldn’t interfere with her plans to leave town. Heck, he’d tell her to get out after embarrassing him. And then she and her baby could live in peace. That was the only real chance her child had of growing up normal.
Righteous or not, telling Ryder complicated her plans. Had she really believed that she could’ve left town without telling him about the baby? She’d initially feared that he’d put two and two together when news of her pregnancy broke. And that’s exactly the reason she’d handled their breakup the way she had. The O’Briens were proud, honest men. And her actions had been the only way to ensure Ryder wouldn’t do anything stupid, like propose marriage for the baby’s sake and ruin both their lives. A fist tightened in her stomach. Breathe.
She’d take things one step at a time. For now, she’d secure Ryder’s help. Finding Nicholas had to be her top priority even if it meant turning her life upside down.
“Getting out anytime soon or do you plan to sit in here all night?” Ryder asked, and he sounded concerned.
Faith hadn’t realized the pickup had stopped.
“Yeah, sure.” She blinked at him.
He sat there, staring at her, making everything harder than she expected. In her heart of hearts she’d known that she couldn’t keep the pregnancy secret from him forever. Her obstetrician had said she could expect to start showing soon. This being the first pregnancy had bought her some extra time and she could easily cover what was going on so far.
Time was supposed to bring wisdom as to how she should handle sharing the news. It hadn’t. She hadn’t breathed a word to anyone. And keeping a secret like this had been more than difficult. It felt good to finally tell someone about the baby, but she needed to stay on track. None of her problems seemed as important or immediate as finding Nicholas.
The sky was pitch-black as she climbed out of the truck. The chilly air nipped at her through her dress. She wished she’d worn a coat as she shivered. Normally, the hot hormones had her wishing she could pack herself in ice. Not today.
A blanket of clouds covered the stars. It was too dark outside to see where he’d taken her, and she’d been in a daze for the ride over, not paying attention. As she gained her footing in the gravel it hit her. Ryder had taken her to