Heather only realised that she’d raised her voice when she saw the startled expressions on everyone’s faces. She took a deep breath but it was hard to pretend nothing was wrong and pointless, too, when everyone could tell just by looking at her that she was upset.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
Ross Tanner reached over and touched her hand, just lightly, but it was still too much. Her emotions were too raw at that moment to withstand anyone’s sympathy and especially not his. Heather jerked her hand away and turned from the bed, ignoring Ben’s look of concern as she brushed past him.
‘Phone the bed manager and tell him that we have a patient who needs admitting, please. I’m taking my break now but page me if anything urgent crops up.’
She didn’t wait to hear what Ben said in reply. She strode to the door but was forced to stop when Melanie and a porter came back with the trolley they’d used to take Damien to the burns unit. Heather waited while they wheeled it into the room then hurried out of the door, cursing under her breath when the hem of her white coat snagged on a rough splinter of wood.
She stopped to disentangle herself, automatically glancing round and shaking her head when Melanie offered to help. Through the gap in the doors she could see Ross Tanner watching her and her heart felt as though it was going to burst right out of her chest when she saw the compassion in his eyes. He knew that comment she’d made about the unexpected happening had been based on experience. He had recognised her pain and empathised with it. He wanted to help her.
The idea terrified her. The last thing Heather wanted was to talk about what had happened to Stewart. She couldn’t deal with the heartache it would unleash all over again. She needed to keep this pain safely locked away inside her. Opening her heart to Ross Tanner wasn’t an option.
‘Hey! I thought those were supposed to be for me?’
Ross upended the paper bag and sighed when a solitary grape dropped onto the bed. ‘Thanks, guys—I don’t think!’
‘Blame Jack. He said there was no point giving you grapes because you wouldn’t be able to swallow them with your throat. He said he might as well save you a job.’ Terry Green grinned as he drew up a chair and sat down, but Ross could see the troubled light in the older man’s eyes.
It was way past evening visiting hours but the crew from Red Watch had managed to persuade the ward sister to let them in to see him. Fortunately, Ross had been put in a side room off the main ward and the only other occupant—an elderly man—was watching television in the lounge. At least he didn’t need to feel guilty about disturbing anyone. He seemed to have caused enough upset for one day.
He forced himself to concentrate on what Terry was saying, but the pain he’d glimpsed in Heather Cooper’s eyes had haunted him. There was no doubt in his mind that something dreadful had happened to Heather in the past and he resolved to find out all he could about it, although why he should be so interested was beyond him. However, if there was one thing Ross had learned to do it was to trust his instincts, and his instincts were telling him that this mattered. A lot.
‘I had no idea you’d turned back. One minute you were right behind me and the next time I looked you’d disappeared.’ Terry shook his head in dismay. He was obviously having a hard time dealing with what had gone on earlier that day.
‘I said that you needed your hearing testing,’ Jack Marsh—another of the crew—chipped in. ‘You have the telly turned up that loud in the break room that you have to be going deaf, and this just proves it!’
‘It was my fault,’ Ross cut in before a squabble could break out. Tensions always ran high after a member of the team was injured and he didn’t want to be the cause of an argument. ‘I was following you out, Terry, when I glimpsed something out of the corner of my eye and went to check it out. I should have told you what I was doing but there wasn’t time.’
‘Damn good job you did—check it out, I mean.’ Jack popped the last grape into his mouth and chewed it. ‘Another minute and the kid would have had it. The cupboard where you found him, Ross, ended up in the basement.’
There was a moment’s silence as they all reflected on how close the child had come to being killed that day. Most of the men at Hexton fire station had children of their own and it was easy for them to imagine how they would have felt.
At thirty-six, Ross still hadn’t found the right woman to settle down with and start a family, although he certainly hadn’t ruled out the chance of it happening. He loved kids and adored his sister’s twin boys. However, he was realistic enough to know that a woman who committed herself to a man who did the kind of job he did would have to be very special. Living with the risks involved was something he had long since accepted, but he’d seen too many relationships break up during his time with the brigade not to realise the toll it took. Would Heather Cooper be able to handle it?
He coughed as the question caught him unawares. Although his throat was feeling a little easier, his lungs were still very sensitive. He accepted the oxygen mask Terry handed him, relieved that his expression was concealed by the opaque plastic.
What would the guys say if they discovered he was having thoughts like that about a woman he’d met just a few hours ago? They’d probably think the smoke had affected his reasoning and maybe they’d be right, too. Heather Cooper wasn’t interested in him, as she had made abundantly clear.
That thought was a little too close to the truth not to cause him some discomfort. As Ross drew in a few more breaths of oxygen his mind raced back over what had happened in the Resus room. Did Heather really have something going with that junior doctor?
He tried to recall their body language even though he could scarcely believe he was doing anything so pathetic. He had a book full of phone numbers back at his flat, most of them belonging to women who were every bit as beautiful and desirable as Heather Cooper was. And yet when was the last time that he’d called any of them?
It was alarming to realise that it must be a good six months since he’d been out on a date and that he couldn’t for the life of him remember who with, let alone where they had gone. Yet here he was, lying in a hospital bed and trying to remember exactly how Heather Cooper had looked at another man.
Ross swallowed his groan of dismay but now that he’d set off down this route it was impossible to stop. Heather’s beautiful face swam before his eyes, that cool little smile curling her generous mouth. It hadn’t appeared to warm up by even half a degree when she’d looked at her junior colleague, but maybe she preferred to be discreet about their relationship?
The fire brigade certainly frowned on liaisons between the sexes and took immediate steps to transfer the people involved to different stations. Maybe Heather was afraid that young Dr Carlisle might be given his marching orders if their affair became public knowledge so preferred to keep things low-key?
Ross sighed as he realised that he might very well be right, although Heather hadn’t given the impression of a woman enjoying a heady love affair when she’d left Resus. His heart ached as he recalled the suffering on her face. It made him wonder once again what kind of a tragedy had befallen her in the past and what he could do to help her get over it.
He sucked in another lungful of air but the facts had to be faced. Why should he imagine that Heather Cooper needed his help?
‘And the little puppy snuggled up in his basket and fell fast asleep.’
Heather closed the book and quietly placed it on the bedside cabinet. Standing up, she tucked the quilt around her small daughter, feeling a wave of love wash over her as she looked at the sleeping child.
Grace had just turned two and each day she grew more like Stewart to look at. She had Stewart’s mop of dark brown curls, the same deep blue eyes and wonderful smile. Grace was living proof of their love for one another, the child they had both longed for. How proud Stewart would have been