All in all, it had turned out to be quite an evening and Kristin had to admit she’d enjoyed herself. She hadn’t exactly been dreading the event, but she had been concerned. Given all the chaos going on in her life the past several months, she’d had some serious doubts she would be able to enjoy anything anymore. But there was something about the raucous group, the camaraderie, the laughing and the loud music that managed to block out her concerns and she welcomed the respite.
It had been a long time since she’d felt this comfortable in a public place. Granted, her exposure was somewhat limited. She was hardly alone. The wedding party had all but taken over the small restaurant. And besides, with all of Cindy’s friends from the probation department and Ted’s friends from the police force, how much safer could she have been?
Her gaze shifted across the room to Jake Hayes. He was the only stranger and the only one there who made her uneasy. However, the reason he made her feel uncomfortable had nothing to do with the fact that he was a stranger.
She thought about her awkward performance at the wedding rehearsal and cringed. Why had she acted like that—so cold and unfriendly? And why was she so awkward? It wasn’t as though she’d never caught a man’s attention before. She’d dated often in college and would even go so far as to say she may have fallen in love a time or two, or at the very least, experienced several episodes of very ardent “like.”
Of course that had been before she’d realized just how vulnerable love made a woman, before she’d learned how emotions could be used against you. That had been before Blake.
So instead of thinking about love, she had decided to focus on a career. It wasn’t as though she’d started out looking for a career in broadcasting. After graduation, her focus had been on establishing a counseling practice and expanding her patient base. When she’d agreed to do a quick guest appearance on a local morning-radio program it had been to promote a new counseling hot line for teens. She wasn’t sure why, but she’d been a natural behind the microphone and soon calls began coming in to the station for her. Dear Jane and “Lost Loves” had grown from there. It had all happened so fast she really hadn’t thought about where the show was going or what the potential was—that is, until Blake Murray came into her life.
It was at a local broadcasters’ awards dinner almost four years ago—her first—and “Lost Loves” had been up for L.A.’s Best Talk Radio. Winning had been a thrill, but meeting Blake had changed her life. Tall, handsome, charming and full of self-confidence, he came at her with both barrels and she hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him. They became inseparable from that moment on.
As the manager of a small radio network, Blake had been a strong supporter of her radio show and she’d been thrilled when he’d shown an interest in promoting her career. But even beyond that, he had a way of looking at her that made her feel as though she were the only woman in the world. She had thought it was love she’d seen in his eyes. What a dope! It hadn’t been love—it had been dollar signs.
To Blake, she must have looked like an innocent, ripe for plucking. He’d swept her off her feet with talk of building their life together. Thinking about it now, she honestly couldn’t remember which had come first, the marriage proposal or the partnership proposal.
Blake had been concerned that the local radio network that broadcast “Lost Loves” wasn’t doing enough for her, that they were taking advantage of her and holding her back. She needed someone to look out for her interests, to steer her career in the right direction, someone who cared about her, who had her best interests at heart. He had told her she deserved the best and he was going to see to it that she got it.
Kristin shook her head. How foolish she had been. She realized hindsight was always twenty-twenty, but how could she have ignored all the warning signs? How could she have let herself be taken in?
Only she knew why. That was what love did to her—it made her blind and stupid and made her forget all about common sense. That was a lesson she’d had to learn the hard way. Back then she’d been too starry-eyed, too much in love to see what was so painfully obvious now.
Even though she knew things were moving fast, she’d accepted when he’d asked her to marry him. It was only by coincidence that she’d stumbled across those papers on his desk, those papers dated weeks before they’d even met, papers outlining his plan to negotiate a merger with a national radio network. Of course, the merger was dependent upon him acquiring control over “Lost Loves” and control over Jane Streeter and her career.
She shuddered. It had been a lie from the very beginning—the romance, the relationship, the proposal. He’d set her up and she’d never seen it coming. Like a fool she’d trusted him, believed him when he said he loved her, when he said he wanted to help. But Blake’s idea of helping her had been helping himself. He had set his sights high, and Jane Streeter and “Lost Loves” had been his ticket to the big time.
It hadn’t exactly been her finest moment. The truth had been a shock, but she had needed a lightning bolt like that to shock her back to her senses. She had allowed her feelings to blind her to the truth and she should have known better. It had been a bitter pill to swallow to find out that the man she loved had cared more about what she could do for him than he did about her. But somehow she’d gotten through it. It had been a painful lesson, but one she would never forget. She wasn’t the kind of woman who could fall in love; it was simply too dangerous. It made her lose too much of herself, made her defenseless and left her too vulnerable. Love was just too risky for her. She would never allow her heart to rule her head again.
She took another sip of wine and watched her sister, feeling a swell of emotion in her chest. Cindy had warned her it wasn’t fair to swear off all involvements simply because of one failed relationship, and maybe she was right. Maybe the day would come when she would feel safe enough or confident enough to take a stab at love again. But that time hadn’t come yet and as Dear Jane, she had listened to so many sad stories she wasn’t sure it ever would.
“Care to make a request?”
Kristin stirred herself from the unpleasant memories and looked up, surprised to see that Ted and Jake had moved from the restaurant into the lounge.
“You’re going to serenade us?” she asked, smiling up at Ted.
“Not yet, but I think after another couple of beers…” Ted let his words drift, then nodded toward the bar. “What can I bring you?”
Kristin shook her head. “I’ve had my limit.”
“Come on,” he prompted with an impatient wave of his hand.
“I don’t dare,” she confessed. “Another drink and I just might want to try my luck at darts again.”
Ted’s hand shifted to a gesture of surrender. “Enough said.” Turning to Jake, he raised an eyebrow in question. “Best buddy, name your poison.”
“Designated driver, remember?” Jake said, lifting his glass. “I’ve been on mineral water for the last two hours.”
Ted shuddered. “I don’t see how you can drink that stuff.”
“Hey, I’m not going to risk getting pulled over,” Jake told him, giving him a sly look. “You know what those L.A. cops are like.”
Ted considered this for a moment, then spun around and shouted to the bartender. “Another mineral water for my friend here.”
“Do you mind if I sit down?” Jake asked.
When Kristin looked up, Jake was smiling at her and she felt herself becoming stupidly awkward. “Oh, s-sure.”
“Turned out to be quite a party,” he said, gesturing to the group and Ted weaving his way toward the karaoke stage.
“Quite a party,” she agreed. Just then Cindy and Dana broke into another song. “And quite loud too.”
He nodded and took another sip of water. It was really too loud for conversation, which was fine