She pursed her lips. “The plight of a handsome heartthrob.”
He set the tray down. “What?”
Whether he was truly unattached or not really didn’t fall into the “just friends” category. But the itch to know wouldn’t leave her.
She reached for her milkshake. Babies needed dairy, right? “I find it hard to believe you haven’t been taken off the market by a girlfriend.” She bit into a french fry.
His blue eyes dropped to half-mast. “Actually, I was engaged when Dad got sick.”
The fry lodged in her throat. She choked. He thrust his water cup at her.
She took a quick gulp. A fiancée? Why had no one mentioned that detail over the years?
“Thanks.” She pushed away the fries, her appetite gone. “Was engaged?”
“I thought I was in love.” He looked away. “I believed she was in love with me. I was wrong on both counts.”
Someone hurt him. Badly. “What happened?”
His jaw tightened. “Karen was a research analyst at the same pharmaceutical company. When Dad got sick, I came home.” He combed his hand through the short hair on the nape of his neck. “Karen broke things off. She couldn’t envision herself living in this, and I quote, ‘beachside backwater.’”
Anna placed her hand over his on the table. “And after you sacrificed so much, you lost her, too.”
“I’m no hero, Anna.” He shook his head. “I was bitter for a long time. But stripped of everything I’d pursued so relentlessly, I rediscovered God. Dad’s death hit us hard. I needed to be there for the family so I took the only job for which I was remotely qualified. Teaching on a then-provisional license.”
She suspected he was adept at hiding his pain. “I’m sorry you had to give up your dream.”
He shrugged. “With an educator for a mother, maybe a teaching gene has always been part of my DNA.”
“Spoken like the scientist you are.” His hand felt warm and strong against hers. “Based on that theory, I should either be a nurse or a deputy sheriff.”
At the same moment, they both seemed to realize they were still touching. He withdrew his hand, and she dropped hers into her lap.
He handed her a wrapped burger. “You still faint at the sight of blood, Anna Banana?” The corners of his mouth curved. “Leastways, Charlie followed in your dad’s footsteps.”
“Like you followed in your mom’s.”
He toyed with the burger. “Only till Christmas.”
Anna’s stomach knotted. “I don’t understand.”
He crossed his arms. “This isn’t for public consumption. The family and Principal Carden know, but no one else.”
She swallowed. “Know what?”
“I’m leaving for my old pharmaceutical job in North Carolina after Christmas.”
“What about your family?” Her voice hitched. “What about your class? Our after-school group?” What about me? she wanted to ask but didn’t.
“Mom and the rest of the family are finally ready to move on with their lives. Mr. Carden has already found a teacher for my class.” He made a wry grimace. “Turns out I’m easily replaced.”
“I don’t think your fifth graders, Maria, Oscar or Zander would agree.”
“They’ll like the guy who’s taking my place. He has more experience working with at-risk kids, too.”
But no matter how great the new teacher proved to be, he’d never be Ryan.
“Sounds like you’ve thought of everything.”
He nodded. “It’s a done deal. It will be good to get back to the lab where I belong.”
Disappointment swelled within Anna.
His face became animated as he told her about the exciting research team he’d be joining. “The drug we’re developing has the potential to change the lives of thousands of people.”
She couldn’t believe he was leaving just when she’d come back. Their lives had always been at cross-purposes. She should be happy for him. It was obviously what he’d worked so hard to achieve.
“I’m happy for you, Ryan.” Maybe saying it would make it so. But she didn’t feel any better. She’d probably have to say it a dozen more times to make it real.
He ran his hand over his head, a sign of uncertainty with him. “Now that the business is stable, there’s nothing else to keep me here.” An expression she couldn’t decipher crisscrossed his face. “Is there?”
She laced her fingers together in her lap. “I guess some things don’t change. Like the difference between you and me.”
He tilted his head. “What difference?”
“When I left for college, I didn’t dream I’d be gone fourteen years.” She rested her hand on her abdomen. “I never planned or wanted to live anywhere else.”
He met her gaze head-on. “Whereas I always wanted to leave.”
“I remember.” Her voice softened. “And you can’t wait to leave again.”
“How much of the world did you see before Mateo—?” He scrubbed his hand over his beard stubble. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay to talk about Mateo, Ryan. I won’t fall apart. Restationed every few years, we managed to see a lot of the United States.” She placed her palms flat on either side of the tray. “But most of all, Mateo wanted to start a family.”
Ryan pushed the tray aside. “What did you want?”
“I wanted to be a mother, too, only—”
Only her selfishness had cost her husband the chance to know his child.
“I believed Mateo and I had plenty of time...” She worked to control the trembling of her chin. “Turns out I was wrong.”
“Then we’ll have to make the most of the time we have.”
She glanced at him. “What do you mean?”
“Operation Christmas. The number listed in the file for Zander has been disconnected.” Ryan propped his elbows on the table. “But I was able to reach Oscar’s mom and got permission to take him to the Flotilla of Lights tonight in the harbor. Wanna give the kid a little taste of Christmas?”
“But—”
“I didn’t forget about Maria. Her folks already plan to attend.”
It had been so long since she attended a Kiptohanock Christmas boat parade.
“Unless...” He deflated. “You’re tired. I can take you home first. Or if you think it’s a bad idea—”
“Are you kidding?” She lifted her chin. “I wouldn’t miss seeing Oscar’s face for the world.”
He smiled that slow, lopsided smile of his. Setting off an unfamiliar seismic reaction in her heart.
This was about the children, she reminded herself. Sternly. “Operation Christmas, Phase One, right?”
“Exactly.” He rubbed his palms together. “This is going to be fun. Get ready for the Christmas of your life.”
And she had the feeling that somehow it would be—maybe in more ways than she could yet imagine.