Maybe not, but I can make sure you don’t win either, she thought numbly. ‘I want a divorce, Zac.’ As he moved back a pace, his eyes narrowing on her face, she raised her chin determinedly. ‘As soon as possible,’ she added, with such a note of determination in her voice he couldn’t fail to believe she meant business.
‘No way. It was almost lazy, only the fiery glow in his black eyes revealing the banked-down emotion. ‘No way.’
‘I mean it,’ she insisted with quiet dignity.
‘So do I.’ The desire which still had him in its grip was making his voice husky. ‘I told you, I never let go of what is mine. Not unless I want to, that is. And in this case I don’t.’
She almost put her hand protectively across her flat stomach as he spoke, before warning herself she couldn’t afford any instinctive gestures like that. Zac was nobody’s fool. She had to get back to England and then disappear again, until the divorce was through or the baby was born—whichever came first. And the fewer people who knew about the pregnancy the better.
‘You won’t be able to stop me divorcing you, Zac,’ Victoria said with a quiet bravery she hadn’t known she was capable of. ‘It will happen whether you want it to or not. No woman has to remain chained to a man she doesn’t love these days.’
‘Ah, but you do love me.’ It was supremely arrogant and devastatingly true, and Victoria kept her face blank only by the harsh training she had received throughout a childhood of hiding her feelings. Then, as now, she had known any weakness would be recognised and used unmercifully against her. ‘I was the first man to take you and I intend to be the last. Believe me.’
She couldn’t believe the double standards. ‘I take it you operate on the sentiment that a woman is like a flower with honey for just one bee?’ she said bitterly. ‘Whereas a man is able to go from flower to flower to flower? Is that it?’
‘I didn’t say that.’ He eyed her darkly, his mouth grim.
‘You didn’t have to,’ she returned smartly. ‘That particular male view has been expressed since the beginning of time; it’s not new. Men can play around all they like but the little woman remains at home as pure as the driven snow.’
‘I never pretended that I was inexperienced, Victoria,’ Zac ground out irritably. ‘You knew when you married me that there had been other women before you. I was quite open about that.’
‘Before me, yes.’ She drew in a shuddering breath, the now familiar feeling of light-headedness and nausea rearing its head. ‘I just didn’t expect there would be any after me, that’s all. Look—’ she sank down into the rocking chair again, her head bowed as she tried to control the nausea ‘—we’re getting nowhere with all this and I’m not feeling too well; the heat and the different food has upset my stomach. Please go, Zac. I need to lie down.’
Her extreme pallor spoke for itself, and after an exasperated, ‘For crying out loud,’ Zac took a visible hold on his temper before saying, his voice quieter, ‘All right, I’ll leave you to rest. But Victoria?’ She raised her head at the tone, looking at him for a long moment as he surveyed her with narrowed eyes before saying, ‘Don’t think about disappearing again. Once I can accept, but twice would be a big, big mistake. Do I make myself clear?’ he added grimly.
Who did he think he was talking to—one of his employees? Victoria thought furiously, the adrenalin pumping hot and strong. She raised her drooping head a few notches and glared at him.
The anger carried her through the next few moments of Zac leaving, but it left her in a big whoosh when he turned on the doorstep, putting down his big black leather overnight bag that he had obviously slung into her hall some time during his arrival, and took her in his arms again, kissing her very thoroughly before raising dark, sardonic eyebrows at her flushed protestations.
‘I can’t help it,’ he said mockingly. ‘There’s something about this pale and interesting look that turns me on, especially with the new fiery part of you as an interesting contrast.’
‘I don’t want you to be turned on.’ She wasn’t at all sure it was the truth and that confused her still more. ‘Not now, not ever.’
‘Thanks a bunch.’ It was very dry.
‘I mean everything I’ve said today, Zac—’
‘No, you don’t,’ he interposed smoothly, before she could say anything more. ‘You want me every bit as much as I want you, but you don’t trust me and I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all.’
‘You don’t like it?’ She stared at him incredulously, unable to believe her ears. ‘Well, that’s just tough, isn’t it?’
He shrugged lazily, but Victoria had seen his eyes narrow and his mouth tighten. She hadn’t spoken to him like that before and he didn’t like it. Good. The man’s arrogance was past belief and she wasn’t prepared to take it a minute longer.
‘You’re really not going to listen to me, are you?’ he said thoughtfully after a tense few seconds had ticked by. ‘But you believed every word the dragon lady said.’
His nickname for her mother used to make Victoria smile but she didn’t feel like smiling any more. And now, in spite of the muggy, sweltering heat that had the dusty streets deserted and empty except for a few chickens pecking desultorily here and there, the temperature chilled to zero as he added, ‘And you ran to William Howard; you trust William Howard. Why is that, Victoria?’
‘William?’ In the shock of seeing Zac again she hadn’t thought to ask exactly how he had known where she was, but now her voice trembled as she said, ‘Did William tell you where I was? You...you haven’t hurt him—’
Now it was arctic conditions. ‘No, I haven’t hurt him,’ Zac grated with dangerous composure, his eyes lethal. ‘I wasn’t aware that there was any reason to, but I’m beginning to wonder. I found out where you were by other means; I have...contacts.’
Oh, yes, she was well aware of his ‘contacts’, Victoria thought bitterly. He had a small army of minions ready to jump at the click of his fingers, and money could buy anything—or anyone. She had heard him talk about ‘necessary research’ once—they had been at a party and one of his business colleagues had button-holed him about a prospective deal—and when she had asked him what he had meant, once the man was gone, he had smiled before saying, ‘I have people who find out things, Tory, that’s all. Things that other people might prefer to keep hidden.’
‘Private detectives, you mean?’ she had asked naively.
‘Something like that. And then he had changed the subject.
‘Why doesn’t Coral know this William?’ Zac asked sharply.
Victoria snapped back from the past as Zac’s voice cut into her thoughts. ‘My mother never took any interest in my friends,’ Victoria said tightly, ‘as well you know.’ Except you, she thought. My mother took a great interest in you from day one. And now she knew why. ‘Have you asked her about William?’ she added abruptly as the portent of his words made itself known. Silly question; of course he had
‘Yes, I have.’ The night-black eyes were boring into her brain. ‘He is the brother of a schoolfriend, yes? That is all that Coral knew. My...source informed me he was out of the country covering some disturbance or other in Saudi Arabia.’
‘That’s top-secret information,’ Victoria blurted out, shocked to the core. William had impressed upon her, on his last visit the previous weekend, that only very few people knew of his forthcoming, extremely sensitive and delicate assignment.
‘But he told you,’ Zac said very softly. ‘He told you, Victoria.’
‘Of course he did.’ She had meant that William had confided his whereabouts to her because she was an old and trusted friend who was living in his home—or one of them—and Victoria knew William had been