“I want to know now. I want to know how a child is made. I know that kisses, even passionate kisses, cannot cause a woman to conceive. But how—?”
“Oh, Lord,” Barto said. “Lady Celeste, I cannot tell you these things.”
Celeste frowned. “You can. You’ve lain with women. I heard the Padre say you’ve—”
Barto groaned. “I can’t deny that, but neither can I explain it. Not to you.”
“Aye, Barto, you can.”
“Sweet heavens,” Barto said. “Sweet heavens. I can’t—”
“If I wished to arouse a man, how would I do it?”
Barto shook his head. “I promise you, señorita. With your fair looks, your husband’s arousal won’t be a problem.”
Celeste frowned and chewed at her lip. “What I most want to know is…how far must one go before a child is conceived?”
“One must go…rather far.”
“How far? Will I conceive if I am touched by him…there?”
“Señorita, please. I think, if you must know these things now, that I will find an older woman who—”
Celeste’s scowl was fierce. “I am asking you, Barto, and don’t pretend you do not know! Just how intimate will I have to be with this man before I conceive his child?”
“Oh, no,” Barto groaned. “Oh, no.”
“Will he have to touch me in private places?”
“Aye.”
“And will he…?” Celeste took a deep breath. “Will he have to do more than that?”
Barto nodded. “Aye, if a child is to be made.”
There was a long silence.
Celeste saw it all. She was not sure of all the intricacies, but her imagination provided her with enough understanding for now.
“I cannot marry Damian Castillo,” she said quietly.
Barto looked worried. “Señorita, I know that here in the harsh light of day the act of which we’re speaking sounds unspeakably unpleasant.”
Celeste wanted to scream. No, no, it wasn’t the act that sounded unpleasant, only the man. In fact, were she to lie in such fashion with the… Oh, sweet merciful heavens, he was a priest!
“I know it sounds unseemly and crude,” Barto said. “In reality,’ tis not the way. It can be nice. Very nice. You’ll see.”
They rode in silence for a while. Finally Celeste spoke. “In Spain, I never thought much about being a wife in those ways. I thought marriage was what I wanted. But I’ve come here and now I shudder at that which I must do.”
Barto glanced at her. “Perhaps when we return to Spain all will right itself. Your time here will seem distant then, like a dream.”
“Perhaps.” Celeste looked down, her eyes misting. “Perhaps my discontent is merely due to this island’s loveliness, to the softness of the moonlight here, to the warmth of its nights. It makes me…”
“It makes you long for love.”
Celeste sighed. “I suppose. I do long to be loved.” To admit that sounded strange, but it was true. She hadn’t felt loved since her parents had died. Maybe that was why she understood why Jacob never spoke, why happiness never touched his eyes. Maybe that was why she felt so compelled to make a family for him again. She looked away quickly, and wondered if Barto saw her tears. “I want to be loved,” she repeated softly. “Now I wonder if I shall ever know it.”
Barto looked down. He said nothing.
Celeste remained silent during the rest of their ride. She could not admit, even to Barto, that she ached for a man with blue-green eyes and tawny hair. A man she could not have.
“I can’t imagine why you’re going to do this,” Ricardo said as he clipped another lock of hair with shears and laid it on the table.
Diego met his gaze. “Do what? Cut my hair?”
Ricardo held up a thick shock of gold. “Maybe I should save these curls, Diego. That way, if you’re ever canonized, people will make pilgrimages from all over the world to see the relics of my humble little shrine. Could be a worthy way to make some money.”
Diego shook his head. “You’re forgetting something. Most of those saints had to be martyred or some such thing before they were so honoured.”
Ricardo sighed and clipped at another curl. “True, true. Though I wonder if you aren’t hastening towards your cross with desperate speed.”
Diego frowned.
“I can hardly believe you’ve chosen to return to Spain. Did your brother not say he’d kill you if ever your paths crossed again? And did he not attempt it once before?” Ricardo pushed at Diego’s jaw to tilt his head, then drew his hand back sharply. “Ouch!” he said with a grimace. “Damn at the whiskers! Two days of not shaving and you’re as woolly as a lion!”
Diego shrugged. “Damian has a beard. I have to look the part, don’t I?”
Ricardo grunted. “I don’t suppose you’ve considered how dangerous it could be to play his part. A bastard like your brother has probably made his share of enemies. His enemies, your enemies… And yet you’re going back into harm’s way, all because some little snip of a wench asked it of you?”
“I’m not doing it for Celeste. In fact, I don’t think she much favours the match.”
“Not if she’s a sensible girl, and she does seem to be.” Ricardo clipped and combed, stepped back to look, then clipped again. “So why are you doing this?”
“I owe it to my brother.”
“Like hell. You don’t owe that idiot anything. If he’d treated Leonora like a gentleman should—”
“It wasn’t his fault that she…that we…”
“I say it was. She was betrothed to him long before she met you. If he’d been kind and loving, there wouldn’t have been room for you.”
Diego frowned. “Forget it, Ricardo. The past is done. But perhaps I can make up to him what I did then…make it up to my parents.”
“And what of Celeste? She seems much too dear to be so cruelly sacrificed.”
Diego was silent.
“That bothers you.” Ricardo nodded. “Well, maybe it should.”
“It does. I can’t deny it.”
“Then you need to listen to the voice of God or your conscience or whatever it is that’s telling you not to do this.”
“I’ve tried. But there are other things to consider. My father, my brother’s life, and Celeste’s own wishes. She says she needs this marriage. She needs it.”
Ricardo nearly dropped the shears, causing Diego to rise in his chair. “Cuidado, amigo!” he cried out. “You could unman me with such carelessness!”
Ricardo shook the shears at him. “You’re a priest, Diego. You’ve little use for all your parts, even if you should lose a few.”
Diego sat down again, shaking his head. “When I’ve finished this masquerade, I’ll find another position where I’m not so abused.”
Ricardo laughed. “I do abuse you sorely, I know it. Yet you’ll deserve all of it and more if you help marry the sweet doncella to Damian. But you say she needs