But I’ve been out a lot on business, she reminded herself defensively, and Ryan often works late into the evening, so that I’m asleep when he comes to bed.
But not tonight, she promised herself. Tonight, she would take infinite care to stay awake.
She smiled at him. ‘Would you like a glass of wine? I—I didn’t know what to do about food. . . ?’ She turned it into a question.
Ryan shook his head. ‘I’ve eaten, thanks. But some wine would be good.’
She poured carefully, and handed him a glass. ‘You look very smart.’ She kept her tone casual. ‘Have you been with Quentin?’
He shook his head. ‘No, I had some research to do.’
‘Oh.’ Kate refilled her own glass and sat down. ‘I thought you did that on the Internet.’
‘Not all of it.’ He didn’t come to sit beside her, but prowled restlessly round the room. He paused by the phone. ‘Have there been any other messages?’
‘Apparently not.’ Kate sipped her wine. ‘Were you expecting anything in particular?’
‘Not really,’ he returned. ‘There was some mail for you, by the way. Did you find it?’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Oh, yes, thank you.’
He continued his pacing, then halted abruptly, his brows flicking together in a frown. ‘What happened to the floor? And the rug?’
‘That was me being clumsy.’ She managed to laugh. ‘I had a fight with a cup of coffee and lost. Does it look too obvious and awful? I’ll get the rug cleaned, and there’s some special stuff for the woodwork.’
‘No, leave it,’ Ryan said, his mouth twisting. ‘I rather like the fact that we’ve actually put our mark on the place at last. I’d begun to think we were going to pass through without one blemish.’
‘Pass through?’ Kate echoed. ‘That’s an odd thing to say.’
He shrugged. ‘Just a figure of speech.’
‘And it’s not “the place”,’ she went on, with a touch of fierceness, feeling uneasy, wanting, obscurely, to challenge him. ‘It’s a home. Our home.’
He laughed. ‘Is it, my darling? I thought it was some kind of statement.’
‘Can’t it be both? Is it wrong for our environment to express who we are—our aspirations and achievements? ’ She could hear her voice rising.
‘That,’ he said, ‘might depend on the aspirations and achievements. Although no one, seeing all this, could possibly doubt what a success we both are.’ He lifted his glass in a mocking toast, swallowing the rest of his wine. ‘Quod erat demonstrandum.’
My God, she thought. We’re almost quarrelling, and that’s the last thing I want.
She put down her glass and went to him, sliding her arms round his waist, inhaling luxuriously the familiar male scent of his skin.
‘Well, I love our success.’ She spoke with mock-defiance, smiling up at him. ‘And our happiness even more. And, as a bonus, we get to spend tomorrow together.’ She traced the open neck of his shirt with her forefingers. ‘Sunday, sweet Sunday, all by ourselves.’ She lowered her voice temptingly. ‘We can get up as late as we want. Walk in the park, or stay in with the papers. Find somewhere new to have dinner. Just like we used to.’
He shook his head. ‘Sorry, my love, not tomorrow. I’m going down to Whitmead to have lunch with the family.’
‘Oh?’ Kate stiffened instantly. ‘May I know when this was arranged?’
His voice was equable. ‘My mother telephoned during the week.’
‘You didn’t mention it before.’
He gave her a meditative look. ‘I didn’t think you’d be particularly interested.’
He didn’t add ‘After the last time’. He didn’t have to, Kate thought, wincing. The implication was right there.
She made her tone placatory. ‘Darling, I didn’t mean the stupid things I said on the way home. I—lost my temper. We both did.’ She shook her head. ‘I wish your mother could just understand that if and when we start a family it will be our own personal decision, taken when we’re good and ready. And without any prompting.’
‘It was just a casual remark, Kate. She didn’t mean to interfere. Or start World War Three.’ He paused. ‘After all, when we first got married, a baby was very much on the cards. And we made no secret of it.’
‘Yes, but everything changed when you gave up your city job,’ Kate protested. ‘I had to work while you established yourself as a writer. You know that.’
‘I’m established now,’ he said mildly.
‘And so am I,’ Kate reminded him. ‘Which makes it more difficult now to find an appropriate time. Something that will fit in with our career demands. Surely your mother must see that.’ She hesitated. ‘And you remember what Jon and Carla Patterson were telling us about the nanny situation the other night. They’ve had one disaster after another.’
‘So it seems.’ His voice was noncommittal.
‘Therefore it isn’t something we can rush into,’ she went on. ‘And your mother has got your sister’s children to fuss over, after all,’ she added with a touch of defensiveness.
‘Undoubtedly,’ he agreed. ‘But I can’t promise she won’t drop any more hints.’ His mouth twisted slightly. ‘I’m afraid we’re just not a very reticent family.’
‘Maybe not.’ She pinned on a smile. ‘So, does all this mean that I’m excluded from tomorrow’s invitation? ’
‘On the contrary,’ he said quietly. ‘Everyone would be delighted to see you, but I assumed you’d be tied up at the office once you got back from Gloucestershire, and made your excuses.’
‘You’re quite right of course,’ she agreed colourlessly. She detached herself from him, and turned away. ‘I have got a load of paperwork to complete. So, next time, perhaps.’
‘That might be best.’
Did she imagine it, or did he actually sound relieved?
My God, she thought, biting her lip. Am I really such a bitch?
She swung back towards him, smiling brightly. ‘Shall we have some more wine?’
‘I’d better not.’ He sounded regretful. ‘I need to keep a clear head.’
‘You’re not going to work tonight, surely?’ Kate made no attempt to hide her disappointment.
‘I have some editing to do. It won’t take long.’
Kate knelt on the sofa, reaching forward to take his hand. ‘Couldn’t it wait until the morning?’ Her voice was husky, almost wistful. ‘I—I’ve missed you.’
He shook his head. ‘I’ve got to make an early start to Whitmead. I need to get it done now.’ He disengaged his hand, then ran a finger down the curve of her cheek. ‘I’ll be as quick as I can.’
‘Is that a promise?’ Kate drawled the words, looking up at him through her lashes.
‘Behave.’ He bent and dropped a swift kiss on top of her head. ‘I’ll see you later.’ He collected his briefcase and went into the office, closing the door behind him.
Kate stayed where she was for a moment, staring blankly in front of her, then she collected the wine glasses and took them into the kitchen to rinse them out. She could see her reflection in the window above the sink, pale-skinned, taut-mouthed, and wide-eyed.
She