As Megan approached, Hailey took the opportunity to look at her closely. Her eyes weren’t red anymore; she apparently hadn’t cried since the bath. But there was something different about her. The light on the inside had dimmed. She didn’t shine anymore. The automatic smile wasn’t there. Please God, let it be temporary. Let her recover.
Hailey got three plates from the cupboard and held them out to the little girl. “Can you set these on the table?”
Megan nodded, then put her doll on the floor. She took the plates and went to the table, placing the dishes right in front of the three chairs. Then she turned to wait for her next task. So quiet. So obedient. It broke Hailey’s heart.
Megan ended up setting the table perfectly, down to the folded paper napkins. Hailey made a salad and finished up the spaghetti, all the while thinking about what she should do. Take Megan back to her place? Probably. Despite Jack’s misgivings, Hailey couldn’t imagine that whoever had killed Roy would care much about a four-year-old girl. It would have made her feel better, though, if she understood why Roy had been killed. Drugs? A burglary gone bad? Fool. Damn fool. He shouldn’t have done anything dangerous, not when he had Megan in his care.
“You need a hand?”
She looked up to see Jack standing in the kitchen by the refrigerator. She’d been so preoccupied that she hadn’t even seen him walk by. “No, no. We’re almost ready. Just a few more minutes.”
He headed for one of the kitchen chairs, and Hailey turned to Megan. “Honey, why don’t you go play for a bit? I’ll call you as soon as lunch is ready.”
Megan obeyed, taking Tottie with her. Once she was out of the room, Hailey poured the spaghetti into the colander and ran some cool water over it. She brought the salad to the table and sat down next to Jack. “I’ve been thinking…” she said.
“Yeah?”
“About what to do next.”
“Okay.” His eyes narrowed slightly, as if he was already planning to nix any ideas she might have.
“I’m going to take her back to my place,” she said. “She’s comfortable there. She knows me.”
“You realize you’ll be questioned. And if they find out you’ve got Megan, they’ll call social services.”
“Why would they question me?”
“Because you live in the complex. They’ll question everyone.”
“And if I tell them I don’t know anything?”
He shook his head. “Did Chandler always pay you in cash?”
She thought about it. “Mostly. But a few times he wrote me a check.”
“Did anyone else in the building know you looked after Megan?”
“Okay, I get it. They’ll figure out I was her sitter.”
“That’s right. And they’ll figure Roy left her with you.”
“He didn’t.”
“You want me to lie?”
She took in a breath, thinking hard about what she was going to propose. “Yes, I guess I do. I want to tell the police that I haven’t seen Megan. That she went to visit relatives.”
“And if they ask who these relatives are?”
“I’ll tell them the truth. That I don’t know.”
“It’s too risky.”
“Why? What harm can it possibly do to keep this child for a while? She’s been traumatized enough without having to go downtown. Without someone putting her in a foster home with strangers.”
“Hailey,” he said, “I agree. It’s not the best solution. But it’s the only one that will keep you out of trouble.”
“I don’t mind trouble,” she said.
He smiled at her, a kind of lopsided grin. “You’ve never been in trouble a day in your life.”
“How do you know?”
He laughed. “All I have to do is look at you. Oh, maybe you exceeded the speed limit once. Probably had an overdue book at the library. But trouble? Uhuh.”
“Well, Mr. Know-it-all, you’re wrong.”
“I am?”
She nodded. “I got into some very serious trouble once.”
He studied her for a moment. “How old were you?”
She felt her cheeks heat and she looked away. “Eleven.”
“What’d you do—break someone’s window?”
“It was a church window, thank you. And I was in trouble for a long time.”
“I’ll bet.”
She looked at him again, at his smug little smirk. “Just because I haven’t been in trouble before doesn’t mean I won’t be able to handle trouble now.”
“I have no doubts about that. Only, it’s best to avoid trouble if you can.”
“But don’t you see?” she asked, no longer teasing. “I can’t. I love Megan, Jack. I’ve taken care of her for two years. She’s like family. I can’t give her up.”
He sighed. “Let me think about it,” he said. “Maybe there’s another solution.”
She nodded. At least it wasn’t a straight-out no.
Hailey called Megan to the table, then served up lunch. It was a quiet affair, no idle chatter, not even from Megan. And when they finished, Megan put her dish on the counter like a perfect little soldier. Then she went back to the floor, to her cartoons.
“Listen,” Hailey said, “I’m going to go get a few more things from my place.”
He looked a little panicked. “You won’t be long, will you?”
“I’ll be back before you can say Sesame Street.”
“Okay, then,” he said, his panic softening a bit. But only a bit.
She grabbed her jacket from the chair and put it on. “I brought juice for her. It’s in the fridge. But I doubt she’ll want any.”
He looked out to where Megan sat watching TV. Hailey went over to her and saw that her eyes were only half-open. She would be asleep very soon. Just looking at her made Hailey’s heart contract, and she had to fight another bout of tears.
She went back to Jack at the table. “She’s almost asleep. So don’t worry.”
“All right,” he said. “But hurry.”
“I will.”
She left his apartment and headed straight for hers. She wanted it to be ready for Megan, with lots of familiar things around. But first she changed the sheets on the daybed in the guest room, and then she looked for Megan’s stuffed bunny, but she couldn’t find it. The room that had been fine for temporary baby-sitting looked woefully unequipped for a long stay. It wouldn’t do at all.
Hailey went to her desk and got the key Roy had given her, then she picked up her empty clothes hamper to use as a carryall. As she headed outside and around to Roy’s apartment, she thought about all the things she wanted to get. The bunny. Some more clothes, especially pajamas and a warm jacket. There was a picture of Roy in the living room, and Hailey wanted Megan to have that. There had to be some other things that would bring Megan comfort later on.
She reached Roy’s apartment and slipped the key into the lock. The first thing she saw when she opened the door was chaos. Someone had