Noah felt more awkward than ever at Katherine’s distress. She had loved his brother. He understood because he had loved him, too, but Levi’s callous behavior stuck in his craw. It took only the smallest thing to please Katherine. She was delighted with flowers and stars. Sunsets and good weather fairly made her delirious. So far he hadn’t heard her speak of anything that she couldn’t paint in cheerful colors.
It would have been so easy for Levi to make this woman happy. Why the thought angered him more than any other, he didn’t know. Maybe because without the least effort Levi could have had everything Noah could never hope for. And he’d thrown it all away. Got himself killed and left a wife and babe behind.
Katherine’s silent tears were far more eloquent than Estelle’s histrionics. Noah was completely at a loss as to how to react to a crying woman. Though they shared the loss, they were strangers. He could think of nothing to say that would change anything or bring her comfort.
So, as usual, he said nothing.
Chapter Four
Kate was grateful that Estelle didn’t come to the Rockin’ C on Friday. She used the reprieve to rest and to learn the layout of the house and outbuildings.
At noon Fergie brought her a bowl of stew and a chunk of bread.
“What is everyone doing?” she asked.
“Roundin’ up cows and branding,” he replied. “Takes weeks in the spring.”
She saw Noah only at supper when he brought two plates of food from the meal kitchen.
“I could cook you supper whenever you like,” she told him.
“No need to double the effort. Fergie cooks every night.”
The beans were tasty and the golden-baked corn bread was perfection. She couldn’t have done half as well. Noah couldn’t realize the wise choice he’d made in declining her offer.
But she felt the need to contribute.
Noah had placed a crock of butter and a jar of jelly on the table near her, then dipped portions onto his plate before seating himself at the far end. Kate thought eating together would be nicer and simpler if they sat closer. She moved the crock and jar nearer him, moved her plate, then took the chair to his right.
“I was surprised the first time I saw that whole crock of butter on the table. Estelle had to tell me to help myself.”
He stopped eating.
She glanced at him.
He lowered his hands to his lap without looking at her.
Kate reached for the butter and spread some on her warm corn bread.
“This is a treat,” she told him. “At home we rarely had butter. It was too expensive to buy from the general store. Estelle said someone on the ranch probably makes this.”
“Fergie.”
“I would enjoy seeing how he does it.” She noticed that he hadn’t picked up his fork and resumed eating. Setting down her slice of corn bread, she dropped her hands to her lap. “Have I done something wrong? You didn’t want me to sit here, did you?”
Quickly she got up and took her plate back to the opposite side of the table. “I just thought it would be easier to talk. I’m sorry.”
She’d lost some of her appetite and her cheerful mood faded. The fact that he didn’t want her near made her feel as though she wasn’t good enough. Surely he hadn’t intended to make her feel that way, but it was her impression all the same. “You’ve been very generous,” she told him softly. “I’m grateful to be here and I’ll try not to step over the boundaries.”
He picked up his fork and held it suspended a moment before finishing his meal. It was difficult to be in his company when she couldn’t see his expression or read his eyes. He shut himself completely away from her and obviously preferred it that way, so she’d just as soon get used to it.
When he was done eating, he got up and went back outside.
Kate washed and dried the dishes, then wandered the house. She found the books he’d told her of and selected one. She’d been reading in the parlor for an hour or so when the back door opened and closed and the sound of another door indicated he’d shut himself in the back room. She shouldn’t feel slighted. The man hadn’t asked for her company and was generously sharing his home. He didn’t have to like her or to spend time with her. Kate took the book upstairs and read until she fell asleep.
Saturday was no different from any other day of the week. The men did the same chores at the same times. But that night after Fergie prepared supper in the meal house, Kate learned that most of the hands left the ranch for the evening.
Marjorie sent a message with Tipper that Kate was welcome to ride to church with them the following morning. Kate decided she would enjoy the outing and the company, so she accepted.
She had washed and dried her good dresses, and now she heated the flatiron and pressed the rows of ruffles until they stood out like new. She hummed as she worked, and the words to the song came to her unconsciously.
Noah stood on the porch listening to Katherine sing. Her voice was as pure and sweet as the woman herself. After having her in his home all week, he was still astounded at her dauntless cheer and optimism. Being in her company, he felt like an ugly wormhole on a rosy apple.
Standing in the darkness, he didn’t have to see her to picture her hair in the glow of the lanterns, tresses as rich and thick as honey. In the sunlight it shone with a life of its own. Her eyes were dark with emotion and sparkling with life. She had skin as smooth and pure as fresh cream. Looking at her was like squinting at the sun on a bright day. Her prettiness was so good and so warm that it hurt.
Sometimes he wondered how Levi had met her. At the laundry, he supposed. He’d probably invited her to dinner or for a carriage ride and had easily won her heart. The marrying part confused him still. Levi hadn’t been one to stay in one place or to commit for longer than a few weeks at a time. Noah had raised countless puppies and even a raccoon that Levi had brought home and quickly lost interest in. The hound that followed him around the ranch now was the whelp of one of Levi’s strays.
This was different. This wasn’t a pet he’d tired of feeding and cleaning up after. This was a woman who needed provision and protection. A woman and a child. When Noah thought about the baby, he couldn’t help wondering if a baby would find his appearance frightening. Or since the child would be exposed to him from an early age, would he simply accept Noah’s appearance? It seemed logical that a baby would be more tolerant than adults.
The child would eat at Noah’s table and learn to ride his horses and grow to manhood on the Rockin’ C.
A corrective wave of caution followed that thought. Or womanhood. The baby could be born a female. If so, Katherine would do all the raisin’. He didn’t know the first thing about females.
Secretly he hoped Katherine’s baby was a boy.
“Have you ever known Noah to attend church?” Kate asked Marjorie the following morning as they sat together on the wagon seat.
“Never,” she replied. “He doesn’t attend anything where folks are gathered. Doesn’t even come to town if it’s something the hands can take care of.”
“Can’t be healthy, staying to himself like that for his whole life. Folks need friends.”
“Been that way as long as I’ve known him.”
They arrived at the little white church and Marjorie introduced Kate to a few parishioners she hadn’t met at the funeral.
As soon