She paused and took a sip of her coffee. “Anyway, we both agreed that we weren’t right for each other and had one last fling that resulted in Lilly.”
“A surprise?”
“Definitely,” she replied. “But, the minute I saw the test result and knew that I was pregnant, I also knew I wanted the baby more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life.”
“And what about Rick? How did he feel about it?”
She frowned thoughtfully. “Initially I think he was a little bit upset. Any man would be. Neither of us had planned to become parents so soon, but he quickly came around. He was one hundred percent supportive through the pregnancy and was right there with me when Lilly was born.”
“What about support and visitation rights? Did you work those out legally?” His chocolate-brown eyes seemed to see everything that was inside her soul.
“No. I know Rick will do the right thing where Lilly is concerned, and if he doesn’t then I’ll be fine on my own.” For the first time since this horror had begun, she noticed that Sheriff Tom Grayson was a very handsome man. The warmth of his dark brown eyes tempered the stern, stark lines of his face.
She leaned back in her chair, slightly disconcerted by her spark of feminine interest. “Anyway, I figured if Rick wants to be a part of Lilly’s life he’ll make that happen. I didn’t want some legal form to bind him to us if he didn’t want that.”
“You said for once in your life you wanted to be somebody’s priority. What about your parents?” He took a bite of his sandwich and looked at her expectantly.
“I never knew my father, and I was always a distant third in my mother’s life, right behind her drugs and her newest boyfriend.” She couldn’t hide the touch of bitterness that crept into her voice.
“Doesn’t sound like the makings of a great childhood,” he said softly.
“It wasn’t.” She stared back out the window, tossed back into painful memories she tried never to access. “It was nothing but fear and uncertainty and one cheap, filthy motel room after another.” She looked back at him. “I promised myself then that if I survived eventually I’d have a place of my own that would never be dirty, a place where nobody could kick me out onto the streets.”
He took another bite of his sandwich and looked around. “Looks like you’ve succeeded.”
She nodded. “It’s taken a long time to get here, but I’m happy where I’m at,” she replied. “But now that somebody has taken my Lilly—”
Emotion clawed up the back of her throat, and she felt as if the darkness outside the window were seeping into her blood, taking over her heart. Just as she thought she’d be swallowed whole, Tom reached across the table and grabbed her hand tight in his.
“We’re doing everything that can be done to find them,” he said. “You have to stay strong. You said you didn’t think Kathy would hurt Lilly. You have to believe that, hang on to that.”
She squeezed his hand and nodded. “I do believe that. She was good with Lilly.” She released a sigh. “Maybe she can’t have children of her own. Maybe she only befriended me because she wanted Lilly.”
He released her hand and leaned back in his chair. “If that’s the case, then somebody in her life will realize she suddenly has a baby. She can’t stay underground forever. Somewhere somebody is going to see her and Lilly and make a phone call.”
“You sound so optimistic,” she said.
He smiled then. It was the first real smile she’d seen on his face, and it was a nice one. It softened the sternness and deepened the warmth of his eyes. “I’m generally an optimist. I’d rather think on the positive side unless I have a reason to think otherwise.”
“What’s positive about all this?” she asked, needing something, anything to hang on to.
“It’s encouraging to me that she didn’t kill you. According to you, you blacked out and you aren’t sure how long you were out. She would have had a perfect opportunity to kill you then, but she didn’t. I’d rather be chasing a kidnapper than a killer.”
He got up from the table and walked over to the coffeemaker. For a big man he moved with an innate grace, as if perfectly comfortable in his own skin. He picked up the coffee carafe and carried it to the table.
“No more for me,” she said. He filled his cup, then returned the pot to the machine and once again sat down across from her.
“Your brother doesn’t believe my story about Kathy, about anything I said,” she said. “He thinks I did something to Lilly.” The very idea threatened to squeeze the breath from her lungs.
Once again a small smile raced across his features. “Caleb is the cynic in the family. Half the time he doesn’t believe anything I tell him.”
“Tell me about the rest of your family.” She needed something to take her mind off the ticking of the clock, off the deepening of the night and the fact that her baby girl wasn’t in her crib where she belonged.
“I’m the eldest. I’m thirty-six. Jacob is next. He’s thirty-four. He’s the only one of us who didn’t hang around Black Rock. Instead of joining the sheriff’s department like all of us did, he became an FBI agent, working out of the Kansas City field office. A little over a month ago he quit his job and came back to Black Rock. He’s been staying in a little cottage we have on the ranch property.” A deep frown furrowed his forehead and he glanced out the window as if in deep thought.
“You’re worried about him,” Peyton said softly.
His gaze shot back to her. “Yeah, I guess I am. He hasn’t told any of us what brought him home. He refuses to leave the cottage and has become a recluse.” He shrugged. “I guess he’ll tell us what’s going on when the time is right.”
“And what about the others? Benjamin seemed very kind.”
“Benjamin is the softie of the family. Even when he was a kid he was trying to save the whales, adopt a pet, sponsor a starving child or whatever to help. Besides being a terrific deputy he also runs the family ranch on the northern edge of town.”
“And you mentioned a sister?”
This time his smile was full of fond indulgence. “Brittany, she’s twenty-four and the baby of the family. She’s also a deputy.”
“What about your parents? You haven’t mentioned them.”
“They died six years ago in a private plane crash. They were adventure junkies. The minute we were all old enough to take care of ourselves, they disappeared to one exotic location or another. The end result was that it made us kids closer than most big broods. What about your mother? Where is she now?”
“She died in prison when I was eighteen. I was thirteen when she was arrested for manufacturing meth. She went to prison and I went into the foster care system. Unfortunately, I wasn’t one of their success stories, and when I turned sixteen I ran away.”
She couldn’t believe she was telling him all this. Usually she was reticent to share the details of her ugly past with anyone. She hadn’t even told Rick much about her childhood.
Maybe it was because it was dark and the middle of the night and she was feeling especially vulnerable. Or perhaps it was because his eyes were soft and without judgment and there was a solidness about him that made her think she could tell him anything.
“Sounds like things haven’t been easy for you,” he said.
She shrugged. “They say what doesn’t kill you makes you strong.” The darkness that she’d tried to push away all night suddenly slammed into her. An unexpected sob caught in the back of her throat.
“If anything happens to Lilly, it won’t make me strong,” she exclaimed. “It will