Grant was going to marry a stranger, without emotional commitment. Why wouldn’t he marry her?
Why would she want him to?
Cassie. The answer whispered through her mind with a sense of rightness. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. She wasn’t asking for an emotional commitment. By marrying Grant, she would become a mother to a little girl she loved dearly.
Mother. She closed her eyes at the rush of emotion that simple word brought. Something she had always wanted and would never have. It wouldn’t matter that she couldn’t have children, because intimacy would not be part of the bargain.
And she would not lose Grant again.
You have lost your marbles, she told herself sternly.
And then began planning what she was going to say to convince Grant that she hadn’t.
By the time the sun finally filtered thin light through the clouds, the coffeepot was drained and Sharon had nearly paced a path in the living room carpet. She glared at the clock as if it were a mortal enemy, paced some more, then glared at the clock again.
When it struck ten, she gathered courage and reached for the phone to dial Grant’s number with trembling fingers. A quick trip to the store for muffins, and fifteen minutes later she and Brittany pulled into Grant’s snowblown driveway.
Cassie met them at the door, bundled in brilliant-red snow pants and jacket. “Daddy said I could play outside with Brittany. Is that okay? Please, Sharon?” Her eyes pleaded unnecessarily.
“Keep her leash on, and look out for cars.” Sharon paused to watch as the little girl clambered up the snowbank and into the empty lot next door, Brittany bouncing at her side. The two were vivid splashes of color in motion against blinding white.
She turned, entered the house and slowly closed the door. She swallowed hard, fighting a sudden urge to spin around and run as fast as she could before it was too late.
“In here,” Grant shouted from the kitchen.
“Coffee?” he offered as she entered the brightly lit room.
“Milk would be better,” she answered. She lifted the bag she carried. “Muffin? I got poppy seed.”
He grinned. Her pulse leaped.
Nerves, she told herself as she shrugged out of her jacket and settled at the table. A minute later, Grant sank into a chair opposite, steam rising from the dark, rich liquid in his cup, golden muffins on a plate between them.
“So,” he said after a large swallow of coffee. “What did you need to talk about?”
Whiskers shadowed his lean jaw, and his eyes captured and held her as though she were under a spell. Her throat dried. She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t find the breath to push words out. Could not find the words, period.
“You okay?” Grant arched a brow.
Heat flooded her face. She quickly nodded, grabbed her glass of milk as if it were a lifeline and took a swallow. Carefully setting the glass aside, she took a deep breath as Grant lifted his cup.
“I am answering your ad,” she said.
He sputtered, spilling coffee down the front of his T-shirt. Sharon gasped. Grant sprang to his feet, ripped off the shirt and grabbed a dish towel. He mopped the front of his chest and glared at her.
One look at his broad, well-muscled chest covered with thick, black curly hair and Sharon jerked her gaze to his face and kept it there, heart and pulse racing.
“My ad?” he asked softly.
She lifted her chin slightly and tried to still her pounding pulse and heart. “Yes, your ad. I think we should get married.”
He froze, dropping the towel to his side.
They stared at each other, gazes locked. Grant’s eyes were without a trace of expression. Sharon was filled with shock that she’d actually said the words. But now that they were out her resolve strengthened, even as she mentally cringed from his reaction.
“Why in the hell would you want to marry me?” His words were carefully enunciated. His eyes wary. He dropped into his chair.
“You can quit looking as if you think I am going to leap across the table and try to have my way with you. I’m not one of your past baby-sitters,” she said, heat filling her cheeks. “It’s not you I want…I mean…not in that way…it’s Cassie. I love Cassie and I don’t want to lose her, and regardless of what you say, if you marry someone I will lose her. I don’t think I could bear that, Grant.”
“Aren’t you over—”
“No,” she cried, suddenly impatient.
“Let me get this straight. You love Cassie so much that you’ll enter a loveless marriage with me? Are you listening to yourself, Sharon? That is nuts!”
Sharon lifted her chin a notch, eyes narrowing. “Says the man who is planning to marry a total stranger. One he’s going to advertise for in the paper and purchase. Grant, finding a wife isn’t like getting a puppy.”
He flushed as his jaw tensed. “I wasn’t planning on using the pet section. And I thought I made it perfectly clear that I’m doing this for Cassie.”
“Well, so am I. Is it so hard to believe I could love your daughter as much as you? Think about it—”
“No.” He shook his head emphatically.
“Why not?” She balled her hands.
“Because you should be marrying some guy you love and having children of your own-—that’s why. You’ve always wanted a large family.” Grant bit out the words. “I have nothing to offer you—”
“Except Cassie, a little girl I already love as if she were my own.” Sharon took a deep breath to calm her racing emotions. “I’m not asking you for more than that Grant. She paused, then added quietly, “I’m not asking for your love, only your friendship.”
Grant just stared at her. She swallowed hard, then continued. “After Charley left me, I swore I would never marry again.”
“You’ll change your mind in time,” he said in a low voice.
“No, I won’t, and you have no right assuming you know my mind better than I do. I haven’t accepted a date since the divorce, and that’s been a few years. As hard as it may be to believe, it’s not as though I haven’t been asked, as if I haven’t been offered opportunities.”
“Of course you have,” he said quietly.
She leaned toward Grant as if leaning against the tide, not certain it would make a difference but hoping to shorten the distance between them. “My only regret with my decision is that I don’t have a family.”
She almost told him more, but stopped. The last thing she wanted was Grant agreeing to marry her out of pity. Poor Sharon, who can’t have children. She couldn’t bear that.
Grant remained silent, frowning slightly.
“This is my opportunity to have that family,” she added quietly.
He shook his head.
“Please think about it,” she urged. “I know you don’t want any emotional involvement, so why can’t you believe that I would feel the same way? Grant, can you truly say that Cassie would be better off if you married a total stranger rather than someone she already knows and loves? Someone who loves her as much as I do?”
His dark eyes probed her as if trying to see into her mind. Her heart. She prayed he would give the idea a chance.
“It’s no great secret that I care for you very much, but only as a friend. I’m not carrying a torch