He tried not to think about the future.
And he dared not think about the past.
Jill couldn’t wait for dinner to be over. She was so nervous, she could hardly eat.
“Aren’t you feeling well, darling?” Elliott finally asked her, brows knitting in concern.
“I—My stomach’s a little upset.” Jill had a hard time meeting his eyes. This was the first time she’d ever lied to Elliott, and she didn’t like the feeling.
Why had this happened? Why, of all the millions of people in Texas, had she had to meet and become engaged to the brother of her son’s father? Was God trying to play a joke on her?
She kept telling herself she had nothing to worry about. Stephen didn’t know he was Jordan’s father. No one knew except her. She’d never even told her aunt, saying only that she’d met a boy on spring break. Her Aunt Harriett—who was as old-fashioned as they come—had been very disappointed in Jill, but she loved her, and she’d encouraged her to have her baby and keep it. When Jordan was born, she’d loved him, too, and she’d been thrilled when Jill had given him her surname. Unfortunately, she hadn’t had a long time to enjoy him since her second heart attack when he was three proved to be fatal.
Jill still missed her. She had been a wonderful person. She was Jill’s mother Hannah’s twin, and when Harriett died it was like losing her mother all over again.
Jill took a sip of her wine. She had been avoiding looking at Stephen, who sat across the table from her, but now she sneaked a glance at him. Her heart lurched when her gaze connected with his, and she looked away.
Steve. Elliott’s Stephen is my Steve. Jordan’s father! This is impossible. I can’t live here.
And yet, what could she do?
This was Elliott’s home. He would never leave the ranch. It was in his blood; he loved it. And she was soon to be Elliott’s wife.
Jill’s stomach roiled. She knew she could not continue to sit there acting as if everything was wonderful. Leaning toward Elliott, she said quietly, “I’m feeling worse, Elliott. Do you mind if—?”
“Of course not, darling,” he said, not even letting her finish. “Ask Marisol to give you an antacid or something and then why don’t you go back to the guesthouse?” He squeezed her hand. “I’ll come by and say good night before I turn in.”
Jill felt like a worm. Lower than a worm. He was such a good man. What would he think if he knew what had upset her? What would any of them think?
Oh, God, if Caroline should ever find out! She detests me now. If she knew the truth, my days here would definitely be numbered.
“Mom?” Jordan said. “Are you okay?”
Guiltily, Jill looked at her son. “Yes, honey. I—I just need something to settle my stomach. You finish your dinner, then come see me, all right?” She forced a smile. “I’ll tuck you in.”
Jordan nodded. His eyes were worried.
Jill knew why. She was never sick. And Jordan was protective of her. They’d been each other’s only family for a long time. “Finish your dinner, okay?” she added in a lighter tone.
“Okay.”
“I’ll walk him over later,” Elliott said. “Don’t worry.”
“Good night, everyone,” Jill said. “Sorry to be such a wet blanket.” As she walked out of the room into the foyer, she knew they were all watching her.
When she shut the door of the guesthouse behind her, she sagged in relief, leaning against it and closing her eyes. She was shaking from the release of tension. And yet, this was only a temporary reprieve. What about tomorrow night? And all the nights to come?
Could she do this?
Could she marry Elliott? Build a good life with him in spite of Stephen’s presence here?
But what was the alternative? She’d already quit her job. Her furniture and belongings were in storage and would soon be on their way to the ranch. And her little house, the first she’d ever bought, was already on the market.
But those things were the least of it. If she didn’t go through with her marriage to Elliott, she would hurt him terribly. And Jordan. She would hurt him, too, because he was overjoyed at the turn of events. He loved Elliott.
Maybe she should just come clean. Tell Elliott everything. But how could she? If all there was to confess was her prior relationship with Stephen, she might have been able to do it. But there was Jordan to consider. And even if she didn’t tell Elliott about Stephen’s relationship to Jordan, wouldn’t Elliott eventually figure it out? Surely he would ask questions. Think about the dates involved. Put two and two together. Then what? Would he even want to marry her when he knew the whole truth?
Dear God. What am I going to do?
I have no good choices.
“Nora?”
“Jill? What a nice surprise! I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.”
It was the next morning. Elliott had gotten up early and was out on the ranch somewhere. Before he’d left, he’d put a note under her door saying he was taking Jordan with him and that they’d be back before lunch. Jill had eaten her breakfast alone in the main house because no one except Marisol was around. Afterward, she’d carried a steaming mug of coffee back to the guesthouse, shut the door and taken advantage of her solitude to call Nora.
“So tell me everything!” Nora said.
“Oh, God, Nora, I wish you were here.”
“What’s the matter, honey? You sound upset.”
Jill swallowed. Hearing Nora’s voice had brought everything to the fore. Made her realize just how serious, how truly impossible, her situation was. “I desperately need someone to talk to,” she finally said. She had tried to keep her voice level and calm, but she heard the shaky note.
“Jill?” Nora said softly. “What is it?”
Tears pooled in Jill’s yes. “I—I can’t talk about it on the phone. I’m not sure I should talk about it at all. I—I’ve never told anyone.”
There was silence for a long moment. “This has to do with Jordan’s father, doesn’t it?”
Jill nodded. Then, realizing Nora couldn’t see her, whispered, “Yes.”
“Has he somehow contacted you…or something?”
Jill knew Nora had often wondered about Jordan’s father. Once, they’d spoken of it, and Jill had admitted that he was someone she’d met on spring break at Padre Island when she was only nineteen and she’d never seen him since. “He never knew about my pregnancy,” she’d confessed. She’d never told Nora his name or anything about him. Now she took a deep breath and said, “He’s here.”
“There? You mean in High Creek?”
“Worse. He’s here at the ranch.”
“He works there? Good Lord.”
“Oh, Nora. H-he’s Elliott’s brother.”
“Elliott’s brother!”
“Well, his half brother.”
After a stunned silence of several seconds, Nora said, “Did you know about him?”
“I knew Elliott had a half brother. And I knew his name was Stephen, but that’s all I knew. I never, in a million years, associated him with…with Jordan’s father. The truth is, I knew Steve’s—I called him Steve, not Stephen—last name was Wells, but Elliott never referred to his brother by