But three months ago, it had. Something horrible that neither he nor Carrie would recover from, when the couple’s small-engine plane had crashed, instantly killing them both.
If only his friends had made better arrangements for their daughter. Surely anything would have been better than him.
Matthew paused outside the ballroom door. What was he doing? His life was in total upheaval. He should not get involved with Natalie or any other woman when his world was so topsy-turvy.
Wasn’t that why he’d hesitated to accept Natalie’s invitation to sit beside her?
To let her think there could be anything between them would be wrong. He had a whole new messed-up life he had to figure out. Until he did, Carrie had to be his priority. Only, so long as he made sure Natalie knew that whatever happened in Miami would end in Miami, there was no reason why they couldn’t enjoy the next few days. He needed the next few days. He’d not had sex in months. Not since before his friends had... Hell, he didn’t want to think of that anymore.
Natalie would likely tell him to kiss her lovely behind when he told her he couldn’t offer more than a few days of fun in the sun. Sure, there had been a rare moment when he’d been at Robert and Carolyn’s that he’d envied their relationship, the closeness they shared. But he had never actively thought about marriage or a long-term relationship for himself. He liked being single, liked being able to do what he wanted when he wanted with whomever he wanted, that if he wanted to stay at the hospital for twenty-four hours straight there was no one to complain or be disappointed that his work meant more than they did.
All that had changed with Carrie. Now, whether he wanted to or not, he had to keep a regular schedule, had to come home at night.
He raked his fingers through his hair. Yeah, he hadn’t been free to do much of anything over the past three months. Instead, he’d been trying to figure out what to do with the sweetest little girl he’d ever known, who was heartbroken over the loss of her parents and who had the unfortunate luck of being in Uncle Matthew’s care.
Uncle Matthew, who was now thrust into the role of Daddy Matthew.
For the next three days he got to just be Matthew, and to do what he wanted.
And what Matthew wanted was Natalie. Naked and beneath him.
There she was, waiting by the fountain, her gaze dancing with seduction and making his head spin. Would it be wrong if he threw her over his shoulder, carried her to his hotel room and took her every way he’d imagined over the course of the day? He couldn’t recall ever wanting a woman more than he wanted Natalie. Had to be the turmoil of the past three months and his need to just...escape. That, and the fact he’d not even thought about a woman or sex since Robert and Carolyn’s death. His reaction to Natalie was probably his subconscious guiding him to take what he could while he could.
He made his way to the fountain, took Natalie’s hand and practically dragged her toward the elevator bank where he’d been waiting for her earlier.
“I WANT TO make love to you, Natalie,” Matthew told her as the elevator doors slid shut behind them.
Natalie’s breath caught.
“But—” he began.
No! She didn’t want there to be a “but”. Please, the one time she was willing to just let go and have a fling with a man, don’t let him have a reason they couldn’t.
With his free hand he pressed the door-close button rather than a floor number, then continued. “I don’t want to deceive you in any way, and, if we go further without my telling you the truth, that’s what I’d feel I was doing.”
Had he lied to her earlier? Was there someone special in his life?
Please don’t be married or engaged or whatever it is that’s so horrible that you have to confess before having sex.
“You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman and deserve better than anything I’m able to give. Which is why I need to explain all the reasons why you should tell me no.” He took a deep breath, kept those pale blue eyes locked with hers. “Beyond the next three days, I have nothing to offer to you or any woman.”
Natalie’s breath caught, at his words and at his hand still clenching hers.
“I don’t understand,” she admitted, trying to make sense of what he was saying.
“What I’ve wanted from the moment you stepped off this elevator before dinner was to put you right back on it, go to one of our rooms and not come out for hours.”
He watched her as if he half expected her to pull her hand free and slap him.
As if.
“You’re not married?”
His look of shock gave answer before his words.
“There’s no other woman in my life, Natalie. It’s just that my life is complicated, and letting you think there could be anything beyond the next three days would be wrong. Whatever happens between us this weekend ends when we leave Miami on Sunday. When deciding what floor this elevator stops on, keep that in mind.”
So neither of them wanted anything beyond the next three days, and time was too precious to waste. She wanted him. He wanted her. They didn’t need to know anything more about each other.
Well, almost nothing more.
“Are you...?” How did she ask this? She’d been a virgin with Jonathan and was screened annually at the hospital, so she hadn’t had to do blood tests or anything of the sort. Trying to convince her it was time for them to take that next step, he’d gone on his own and given her a copy of his lab tests prior to their becoming physically involved. As time and their busy schedules had allowed, they’d fallen into a mutually satisfying relationship.
Or maybe it hadn’t been so mutually satisfying, since he’d been having sex with another woman.
Ugh. No. She was not going to let thoughts of Jonathan’s infidelity creep into this moment. All she needed to know was—how did couples usually bring up a clean bill of health? Or did they? No matter what other couples did. She would ask.
“I mean, do you have...?” She struggled to find the right words.
“I’m clean, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Relief filled her at his answer and at how easily he’d known what she was asking.
“Me, too,” Natalie assured, excitement coursing through her. Excitement and heat. White-hot heat that burned at her very core. She wanted Matthew. More than she’d ever wanted any man. Mentally and physically. She. Wanted. Him.
She reached for his hand. “We both know what we want, and it isn’t a relationship.” There. She’d said it. There could be no confusion. “So, truly, your comments, while gentlemanly, are a waste of valuable time when you could be impressing me in ways I’d appreciate much more.” Her boldness surprised her, but good grief, he seemed intent on being a gentleman when what she wanted was a rogue lover setting her body on fire. “My room is on the eleventh floor.” She reached over and pressed the button. “Are you getting off with me or not?”
* * *
Despite her brave invitation, Natalie’s hands trembled as she slid her card into the key slot. Her heart pounded as the little green lights flashed and she twisted the handle, opening the door to let Matthew into her hotel room.
Even as her feet moved, carrying her inside, she asked herself how this worked. Did she go to the bathroom and freshen up? Did he? Did she just take off her clothes and get into bed, as Jonathan