“His words, not mine,” she explained. “Anyway, when I found out, I broke things off. But we were quite an item, so everybody knew about us, and most of them knew he was married. The whole thing was humiliating. As if that wasn’t enough, one Monday we got to the office and the doors were locked. They were glass, and we could see the whole place was empty.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Totally serious,” she responded with a sour expression. “We discovered the company was bankrupt, and the owners had sold off everything that wasn’t nailed down.”
“Just like that? Don’t they have to give you notice or something?”
“Well, they didn’t.”
Bad as all this sounded, her brittle tone alerted John that he hadn’t heard the worst of it. “Something else happened to send you running back here. What was it?”
Another sigh, this one so deep it made his chest ache. “My accountant had some financial problems of his own, and his solution was to borrow—” she added air quotes “—the money from me. The trouble was, he couldn’t pay it back. Long story short, I’m beyond broke. I auctioned off everything I could, but it wasn’t enough to pay off the debts I didn’t know had been piling up over the last two years.”
“That’s stealing,” John pointed out. “Shouldn’t they have put him behind bars or something?”
Anger flared in her eyes, giving them more life than he’d seen the whole time she’d been back. “Trust me, if we could have found him, he’d be in jail.” As quickly as it had spiked, the spirit ebbed away. “The closest we got was hearing he might have gone to Brazil. The problem is, tracking someone down costs money, and I didn’t have any.”
“That explains why you’re driving that car.” Hoping to lighten the mood, he copied her by air-quoting the final word. His attempt earned him a wan smile, but it was better than nothing.
“After a lot of thought, I decided that I’d made every mistake a person possibly could, and I needed a complete change of scenery. Lifestyle-wise and geographically, Harland was as far from L.A. as I could get.” Now, she pinned him with a begging look. “Don’t tell Marianne and Ridge. They’ll think I’m a brainless idiot, and I really need this job. I had to declare bankruptcy, so I’ve got nothing but the clothes in my duffel bag.”
Being a farmer, John was well acquainted with the concept of bankruptcy. While the Sawyers had escaped it themselves, many of their neighbors hadn’t been so fortunate. That Amanda had been forced to endure that harsh penalty through no fault of her own made him want to help her get back on her feet.
But he was a simple, straightforward guy. By his own example, Ethan had taught all of them that honesty wasn’t just the best way, it was the only way. John had taken his father’s lesson to heart as a child, and it was the compass that kept his life on its normally smooth, easygoing path.
Amanda’s situation presented him with a difficult choice. Either respect her wishes and keep his family in the dark, or tell them the truth and let Marianne make her own judgment.
Or he could convince Amanda to tell them herself. Not only would it force everything out in the open, it would enable her to dust herself off and make plans for her future. Of course, with the very headstrong Amanda Gardner, that was easier said than done.
His silence must have started to worry her. “Please, John? It’s been a long time since something went right for me.”
Hoping to appear unconcerned, he grinned. “I can have blueberry pancakes whenever I want?”
“Absolutely,” she breathed with a grateful smile.
“Then it’s a deal.”
He still had his misgivings, but after all she’d been through, knowing he could make her smile made him feel incredible.
* * *
The shifting emotions on John’s face had been simple enough for Amanda to read. Wariness when he saw her in the kitchen that morning. Concern for his sister and her babies. Then something darker that had no place shadowing his wide-open features.
John was as different from the other men she’d known as the sun was from the moon. Over the years, she’d thought about her rugged country boy many times, wondering what he was doing, if he was happy. Now he was right in front of her, and she could see for herself how much he enjoyed his sweet, simple life.
Get up at the crack of dawn, have breakfast with your family, work hard all day, play with the kids and the dog, go to sleep, repeat. Oh, and save the occasional damsel in distress. All of that flitted through her head in a heartbeat, and she realized she’d forgotten to do something very important yesterday.
“John?” When his eyes met hers, she gulped down her pride and rushed on. “I want to thank you for all your help. You’ve been really great.”
“You’re welcome.”
For a fleeting moment, the twinkle she recalled so fondly lit his eyes. She was asking a lot, but she knew she could count on him to keep her secret. Then the suspicious look returned. “There’s something else. What is it?”
Her heart thudded to a stop, and she berated herself for assuming she was in the clear. Perceptive as he was, she should have known better. Luckily for her, the kids chose that precise moment to come rushing downstairs for breakfast. They could work in showbiz, she thought with a grin. They had impeccable timing.
“Waffles!” Kyle shouted before John got his attention with a finger over his lips. “Sorry,” he said more quietly, turning to Amanda. “But I really love waffles. Are they burning?”
“Oh, no!” She’d forgotten all about them during her talk with John, and the griddle was smoking in protest. She flipped it open and used a towel to fan the smoke toward the open window. “Sorry, guys. I’ll make more.”
“Not for me,” Emily mumbled. “I don’t feel good.”
John’s frown alerted Amanda that his niece wasn’t the kind of kid who tried to dodge school with fake tummy aches. Resting a hand on the girl’s forehead, Amanda frowned, too. “That’s a fever, missy. No school for you.”
The pocket doors slid open, and Marianne entered the kitchen, apparently drawn by some inexplicable maternal instinct. “Not feeling too well, Emmy?”
“No.” Her lip quivered, and Marianne opened her arms wide. Looking miserable, Emily shook her head. “I don’t want to make you and the babies sick.”
“You won’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“A hundred percent.” Marianne sat down on the bench near the table. “Mommies know these things.”
She patted the seat beside her, and Emily cautiously joined her. When Marianne pulled her close, she snuggled in, closing her eyes as if everything was suddenly right with the world. Ridge appeared in the doorway and kissed the top of his daughter’s head before turning to Kyle.
“I’ve gotta get some things at the hardware store,” he said. “If you want, we can grab breakfast at Ruthy’s Place, then you can help me pick up what I need. When we’re done, I’ll drop you off at school.”
The boy grabbed his backpack, eyes bright with excitement. “Okay.”
“Ridge, you must be really busy,” Amanda said. “I can take Kyle to school if you’ll just loan me your car.”
Ridge traded a grin with his son. “Thanks, but we like to get some guy time once in a while, don’t we?”
“Sure do.”
“Just make sure he’s on time for his first class,” Marianne warned. “I don’t want to get another message from the attendance office and have to call all over town hunting for you two.”