Was it only today that he had come back into her life? It felt like he’d never left. It felt like everything that had happened since had been a dream, or perhaps she was dreaming now.
He took her hands and kissed her on the cheek. They were not in the hospital now; there were no concerns about protocol. She closed her eyes and held her breath as her limbs turned to liquid. This was definitely not a dream.
Her heart raced as his lips imprinted on her skin. What was it about him that could do this to her? How was it possible that a simple kiss on the cheek could leave her breathless and excited and make her feel as if she could melt away? As if she could dissolve in a pool of desire? One kiss from Henry and she could feel herself unfurling, coming back to life. She thought she had been doing okay but now she realised she’d been surviving, not living. She’d been getting through her days, but the days had had a dullness about them. One kiss from Henry and the colours began to return.
How could he affect her like this after all this time? How could she let him?
She stepped back as annoyance overrode pleasure and guilt replaced desire. She’d forgotten all about Todd. She found it irritating that Henry could return after three years and immediately influence her like this. But she wasn’t sure who she was annoyed with—him or her.
She wouldn’t give in. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he still set her heart racing. It had taken her years to put her heart back together and she wasn’t going to let one kiss reopen the scar where it had healed.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.
‘I was on my way to my room and I thought I heard you singing. I thought I’d check.’
‘You’re staying here?’
He nodded. ‘Just until I can find some decent short-term accommodation close to the hospital.’ He pulled his room card out of his pocket. ‘Have you got time for a drink? My shout.’
She shook her head. ‘I’m working.’
‘Just a quick one, for old times’ sake. We’ve got some catching up to do.’
She looked into his indigo eyes and said, ‘It’s been three years, Henry. That’s a lot of catching up.’
‘Have dinner with me tomorrow, then.’
No. She couldn’t do that, for so many reasons. She didn’t trust herself. Or him. Her best defence was to stay as far away from him as possible, though that would be difficult, given they were working together. But she certainly didn’t have to complicate things further by agreeing to have dinner with him. She glanced back over her shoulder. The stage had been abandoned. The band had taken advantage of her abrupt exit and were taking a break—surely one quick drink couldn’t hurt? ‘One drink.’
There was an empty table beside them. Henry pulled out a chair for her and she sat. It seemed she lacked the willpower to refuse his invitation. No, she admitted, if only to herself, she didn’t lack the will power—she lacked the desire to walk away. She had never been able to resist him.
‘What can I get you? A glass of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc?’
‘No. I don’t drink wine if I’m singing.’ There was always the risk that her sinuses would become congested. ‘I’ll have a vodka, lime and soda.’
Henry signalled to the waitress and ordered Maia’s drink.
‘How was San Francisco?’ she asked, filling in the silence while she waited for her drink.
‘Interesting. I really liked it.’
‘You didn’t want to stay?’
He shook his head. ‘I left there a year ago. I’ve been in Tokyo for the last twelve months, studying the medical implications and response to tsunamis. It was time to come back and put what I’ve learnt about disaster management into practice.’
The waitress placed Maia’s drink on the table. Condensation settled on the outside of the glass and Maia wiped it off with one finger as she thought about all the things that Henry would have seen and done over the past three years. The diamond in her engagement ring caught the light and Henry’s eye as Maia ran her finger over the glass. He reached for her hand and just the barest touch of his fingers on her skin made her catch her breath. While she was connected to him she felt like she ceased to exist. As if nothing else mattered but the two of them. As if they were one.
She knew he shouldn’t have this effect on her still. Three years was a long time. It should have given her time to forget. Time had moved on. She had moved on. But her body didn’t seem to have received the same message.
His thumb rested in her palm as he turned her hand, and the solitaire diamond sparkled. ‘You’re engaged?’
She nodded. She’d taken it off her necklace and had slipped it back onto her finger as she was getting dressed tonight.
‘Anyone I know?’
‘Not really.’ The rapid beating of her heart made her voice sound breathless.
‘What does that mean?’
‘You saw him today but there was no time to introduce you.’ There’d been no reason to introduce them either but Maia knew she hadn’t wanted to.
‘The paramedic who brought Adam in?’
It seemed he had noticed Todd’s hand on her shoulder. Noticed and remembered. Maia nodded.
‘When is the wedding?’
‘Six weeks.’
Henry sat back in his seat and let go of her hand. She noticed he hadn’t congratulated her. What did that mean?
Probably nothing. She couldn’t afford to read anything into the silence. It wasn’t her place to speculate about his thoughts.
‘Timing was never one of our strong points,’ he said.
She studied his expression but it was difficult to read in the dim lights of the bar. Did he have regrets too?
Maia shook her head. ‘No, it wasn’t.’ His regrets were no longer her concern. They couldn’t be. Her life had changed when her father had died and it was naive to think things could ever go back to the way they were. Their lives hadn’t fitted together three years ago; it was unlikely they would fit together any better now. Nothing he’d said made her think his priorities had changed.
‘So things have worked out well for you?’ he asked. ‘You’re happy?’
‘Of course.’ She was, wasn’t she? She had nothing to be unhappy about. She was healthy, she loved her job, she had family, friends and a fiancé who loved her.
She didn’t want to think about why Todd was last on her list. Was that where he fitted in her life?
She should be happy. There was no reason not to be yet she knew she was lying. If she was happy why was she sitting here imagining what her life would have been like now if Henry had never left? Or if she’d gone with him? But that had never been seriously discussed.
They’d known at the beginning that their relationship would have an end. Henry’s plans had already been in place. He’d been in Christchurch for a limited time, she’d known the date he was leaving and she had known he wouldn’t take her with him. He travelled alone. That was his choice and, while she didn’t like it, she’d had to accept it. Then, just weeks after his departure, her dad had suffered his first stroke and Maia had known then she would have chosen to stay. But it had been tough, really tough, and in the end she had lost both her father and Henry.
‘Things have worked out differently to what I expected but that’s life, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘Things change and you have to change with them.’
She could see the band members making their way back onto the stage. She pushed her chair