‘I am.’
‘So why are you going?’ Hearing a slightly needy note creep into her voice and realising she had probably gone too far, Tessa gave a small shrug and feigned a laugh. ‘Sorry, none of my business. I was just looking forward to your wedding—another excuse to go on a diet, if ever I needed one. And I’m peeved because no doubt you’ll whisk Emily off to Gretna Green and I’ll miss out on a great wedding party and my portion of the wedding cake.’
‘Emily’s not coming.’
The coffee that was on its way to Tessa’s lips stopped midway. Blinking a couple of times, she took a sip, before rather clumsily placing the cup back in its saucer. ‘Oh.’
‘It’s just me that’s leaving,’ Max added, and his eyes were avoiding Tessa’s.
Suddenly Tessa wished that she smoked. Not really, but it would be so nice now to have something to do with her hands, to create a tiny diversion while she flicked open a packet and lit up, a few seconds of grace to collect the rampaging thoughts that were stampeding through her brain.
Another ‘Oh’ was all Tessa could manage, though, coupled with a slightly dry smile as she imagined Narelle’s horror if she had dared to smoke in her beloved canteen.
‘We’ve put the wedding plans on hold.’ A smile tugged at the side of his mouth. ‘Aren’t you going to say “oh” again?’
‘Oh,’ Tessa squeaked, her mind working ten to the dozen.
‘Thing’s aren’t too great between Emily and I at the moment, but that’s just between you and me, so don’t go firing it around the hospital.’
‘I wouldn’t,’ Tessa said indignantly. ‘I only listen to the gossip, I never start it.’ They sat in silence again, but this time it certainly wasn’t comfortable. Endless questions bobbed on her tongue, but Tessa bit them back, knowing it was none of her business, knowing Max would tell her only what he wanted to.
‘London won’t know what’s hit them.’ It was a small attempt to break the strained atmosphere, a little joke to desperately lighten the mood that had suddenly taken a massive dive. ‘You’ll have to smarten up a bit.’
‘What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?’ Max replied indignantly, but he was at least smiling now they were on the familiar territory of his appalling dress sense.
‘Nothing.’ Tessa gave a cheeky wink. ‘For a walk along the beach, anyway.’
‘They’re smart shorts!’ Max protested.
‘They might be if you ironed them, and I can’t really imagine the consultants there wearing T-shirts and boat shoes.’ Tessa put up her hands in mock defence as Max opened his mouth to protest. ‘Just a mental picture I’ve got of London, Max—you know, doctors in smart suits, nurses with starched uniforms and caps.’
‘It’s the twenty-first century, Tess, that all went out with the ark.’
Tessa laughed. ‘I could be wrong, but you’re in a little bay-side town here Max, most of the patients know you already, the staff certainly do. We know that under that scruffy hair is a brilliant medical brain.’
‘Well, I’m not wearing a suit,’ Max shrugged defiantly. ‘For anyone.’
Tessa turned back to her coffee staring dreamily out of the window, images of London dancing through her mind—Piccadilly Circus, the Houses of Parliament, tree-lined streets she had seen only in televised weddings and funerals. So far away it might just as well be on another planet, and Max was actually going to be there, riding on the subway or the tube or whatever its name was, having short days and cold Christmases. Her mind danced around London as she sat there. She’d never had any desire to go, it had never even entered her head before. Despite being an eternal romantic, Tessa had her head screwed on firmly enough to realise it wasn’t all going to be rosy-cheeked children singing around Christmas trees and rolling English countryside littered with wildlife. And, no doubt, Max would grumble like crazy about the warm beer and the exchange rate, but London...
‘Maybe I should get some smart trousers,’ Max relented after a few moments’ silence, his mind obviously still on the conversation. ‘I guess I could buy a couple of shirts as well.’
‘A tie even?’ Tessa teased, and Max shuddered. ‘And while you’re at it, you might even get a haircut.’
‘You’re pushing it now,’ Max grumbled. ‘Still, I am going to have to start sorting things out, it’s only two weeks until I go.’
‘Are you excited?’
‘Yes and no.’ Max shrugged but didn’t give any more away.
‘It’s a big move, though,’ Tessa pushed, even though it was obvious that Max wanted to end the conversation. ‘You must at least be a bit nervous. Will you miss us all?’
‘It’s only for a year, Tess,’ he said, but the raw note of urgency to his voice had Tessa convinced he was assuring himself more than her. ‘Peninsula Hospital will still be here when I get back. I’m just taking a year out—things will stay the same, won’t they?’ His face was serious, his hand was back on her arm and Tessa swallowed the lump that had mysteriously appeared in her throat. ‘You’d do the same, wouldn’t you? I mean, if your dream job came up you’d grab it.’
For an age she stared at Max, but it became too hard. Too hard to look him in the eye and tell him she was OK with this. Dragging her eyes away, she drank in the view—the fisherman on the jetty, the endless beach that constantly beckoned her, the jagged rocks full of tiny pools, each one a Pandora’s box of treasures she’d gaze into and dream away the hours as she swirled her hands through the water.
Maybe London was glamorous and exciting, but it wasn’t home.
‘I’ve got my dream job, Max,’ she said softly, her eyes slowly moving back to him. ‘OK, it’s not the cutting edge of nursing, people aren’t going to look at my résumé and shake with excitement, but it’s all I want—Charge Nurse of the emergency department at Peninsula. Enough emergencies to keep the adrenaline flowing and plenty of stunning views to calm me down when it all gets too much. This is enough for me, Max. I thought it was for you as well.’
‘It is, it’s just...’ A long-fingered hand ran through his tousled hair and he let out a ragged sigh. ‘I need to talk to you, Tess.’
‘We are talking,’ Tessa said lightly, a forced smile taut on her strained face.
‘I mean away from here.’ He gestured to the room, his eyes never leaving her. ‘Away from the hospital.’
‘What about Emily?’ Tessa asked slowly.
‘She’s on call tonight.’
Another wrong answer. As the shutters came down on her eyes Max broke in quickly. ‘I don’t mean it like that, Tessa, I just really need to talk to you.’
‘No!’ Tessa said rather too forcefully. ‘It’s Emily you should be talking to about any problem you’re having with your relationship—she’s the one with your ring on her finger. And if it’s an impartial, feminine viewpoint you’re after, believe me, Max, you’re asking the wrong woman.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Well...’ Tessa’s eyes darted nervously, wishing she could take back the words she had just uttered and frantically searching her mind for a way to diffuse them. ‘I’m not exactly an authority on the perfect relationship. Look how many dating disasters I’ve endured in my time.’
‘I’m not asking you out for a counselling session, Tessa, I just want to talk to you.’
‘Sorry,