“Son, Colleen is gone.” His dad was always blunt when he wanted to make a point. “She isn’t here to put her arms around Kyle when he needs a hug. He can’t hear her voice in the middle of the night when he’s scared.”
Nathan’s anger rose quickly, the same anger that had shaken its fist at fate when that force had taken Colleen and Kyle’s twin, Mark, away from him. “I give him hugs. I sit with him when he has bad dreams.”
“But are you enough? Am I enough? Is Val enough? None of us can take the place of a mother.”
Nathan and Galen both depended on Val Lindstrom, the housekeeper Nathan had hired to look after Kyle when he was busy at the lodge or guiding tourists who stayed there. “Ben, Sam and I grew up just fine with only you to take care of us,” Nathan said.
“Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t. I don’t think Ben will ever trust a woman enough to settle down with her. And that stems back to your mother deserting us. And Sam… Maybe he chose poorly because I never taught him how to choose wisely.”
Since his dad rarely brought up the subject of their mother’s desertion, Nathan decided to take advantage of this opportunity. “Why didn’t you ever remarry?”
“Because not many women could take on three boys and like it. I never met anyone willing to try.” Galen picked up the paper on the counter that Sara Hobart had given to Nathan. “What harm would come from inviting this Hobart woman to meet Kyle? I’m sure he gets tired of just seeing you, me and Val.”
“What harm?” Nathan couldn’t believe his dad wouldn’t acknowledge the obvious. “If she sees him, she might want to spend more time with him. What if she stays in Rapid Creek?”
Waving that idea away with a flick of his hand, Galen responded, “She has a first-class job in Minneapolis. She didn’t go to school all those years just to give it up.”
Something else troubled Nathan even more. “What if Kyle likes her?”
“And what if he doesn’t?” his dad protested. “What if they don’t get along at all? What if his asthma scares her?”
Even if he entertained that possibility, Nathan was unsettled by the idea of inviting Sara Hobart into his home. “I think we’d be taking a big gamble letting her meet him.”
“Aren’t you taking a bigger gamble never telling Kyle the truth?”
“He’s not old enough to understand.”
Galen’s eyes were a steady gray, showing the wisdom of his sixty-four years. “When will he be old enough? When he’s twelve? When he’s sixteen?”
“Dad—”
“You can’t ignore the truth, even though you’ve tried. You’ve convinced yourself you and Colleen were the only two people involved.”
Yes, he had. Ever since Colleen had been implanted with the embryos, they’d dismissed the donor. She’d been a means for Colleen to get pregnant, and that was all.
But now that donor had a face—a very pretty face…and green eyes identical to Kyle’s. “I’m not sure we should let her into our lives.”
“She’s already in your life if she’s Kyle’s mother.”
That was a very big if.
Sara Hobart had given her word she’d go back to Minneapolis after she met Kyle. Could Nathan believe her?
When Sara stepped into Nathan Barclay’s log home, she felt like an interloper. But it didn’t matter how she felt. Only meeting Kyle mattered.
Nathan stood in the living room amid comfortable green-and-brown-plaid corduroy furniture. His jaw was set in an uncompromising line, as if he was sorry he’d invited her here.
As her gaze locked with his, a tingle of awareness ran through her. She ignored it. “I was grateful you called. I honestly thought you wouldn’t. What changed your mind?”
“You checked me out. I checked on you. Everything you told me was true.”
“You didn’t expect it to be?”
He shook his head. “There are lots of crazy people in the world, Miss Hobart.”
“It’s Sara.” For some reason she believed that if he used her given name, there would at least be a tenuous thread of communication between them.
He didn’t use her name and his tone was severe. “Before I call Kyle from his room, there’s something you need to know. He has asthma.”
Instantly concerned, Sara asked, “Is it serious? I don’t know much about the condition.”
“It can be life threatening.” As she absorbed that, he went on. “I’m not being dramatic. When he had his first attack, he was three. I’d painted two of the bedrooms in the lodge and had him there with me. He started having trouble breathing, then he began to wheeze. I didn’t know what was happening, but thank goodness I brought him downstairs while Dad called emergency services.”
Although Nathan’s face was stoic, Sara could imagine the fear and panic that must have shaken him. “Is Kyle on medication?”
“Yes. And he uses inhalers.”
“Are there particular things that cause an attack?” She should know what they were. A little voice asked, Why, if this is the only time you’re going to see Kyle? She pushed that question away.
“Strong smells like cleaning solutions or scented candles. Extreme cold. Too much dust.” Nathan took a few steps closer. “And emotional upset. I don’t want him upset. I told him a friend was coming to visit, that’s all.”
She had to look up a good six inches to meet Nathan’s eyes. They were almost threatening, and the message was clear. If she did anything to upset Kyle, he’d toss her out.
Still, amazingly, she didn’t feel intimidated, because she understood. As a parent, she’d want to protect her child that fiercely, too. “I understand.”
The November weather was becoming colder. She’d worn jeans and a sweater again, topped by her suede jacket. She unbuttoned it, hoping Kyle’s dad would let her stay more than five minutes.
As she slid out of one sleeve, Nathan was beside her. “I’ll hang this in the closet.”
Relieved, she smiled at him and motioned to a bakery bag she’d set on the arm of the sofa with her purse. “I brought chocolate chip cookies. Does Kyle have any dietary restrictions?”
“No. No food allergies, thank goodness. And he does love chocolate. It was thoughtful of you to bring them.”
Nathan was acting superbly polite. She wished he’d just be himself and say what he was thinking. “It’s not a bribe,” she assured him. “Chocolate and little boys just seem to go together.”
When he didn’t respond, she tried again. “You told Kyle I was a friend. He’ll know that’s not true if he senses your hostility.”
“I’m not hostile.”
She wasn’t going to argue with him. “Can we pretend to be friendly for Kyle’s sake?”
Nathan blew out a long sigh. “Look, Miss—”
“Sara,” she reminded him.
“All right. Sara. I’m not pleased about you being here. I just