However, his family would not always be around for him to hide behind.
Jesse eased the SUV around a pothole in Emily’s driveway. He checked for oncoming traffic, then swung the car onto the main road that would take them back to Bristol. Thanks to Honey backing him into a corner, when Karen’s car had refused to start, Jesse had been delegated to drive her back to the bed-and-breakfast. Short of being rude, he could do nothing except acquiesce.
With Emily’s promise to have Kat look at the car first thing in the morning then bring it to the bed-and-breakfast still ringing in their ears, they were now sitting in the front seat of Jesse’s car like two wooden soldiers, neither of them able to find words to start a conversation.
“You didn’t have to do this, you know.” Karen’s voice filled the car’s muggy interior.
“And how would you have gotten back to town?” Jess opened the vents on the AC, adjusted the temperature, then hit the switch to turn on the fan.
“I’m sure I’d have found a way.” She paused. “Kat could have taken me.”
“Kat was putting the twins to bed.” Considering Jesse had tried his best to get out of driving her, he was surprised at feeling a little put out that she didn’t want to be here anymore than he did, and that the thought of her being, even innocently, with another man bothered him—a lot. Rather than dwell on that, he asked her something that had been on his mind. “How did you know?”
Karen turned to him, her striking beauty illuminated by the dash lights. “How did I know what?”
“About the mole. Which twin was which.”
She threw her head back and laughed. The sound washed the tension of the day from him, or maybe it was the absence of the pressure he always felt around his family. His grip on the steering wheel relaxed.
“Easy. Cat told me.”
“But—”
“She may not talk well, but she can certainly make herself understood when it comes down to who’s going to take the next turn on the swing.” Karen shifted in the seat to face him. Her bent knee brushed his thigh, sending funny little prickles zipping down his leg. “When I took them to the swing, Emily said to allow Cat to go first because they made it a rule that they had to take turns. Casey had gone first last time. When we got there, I couldn’t figure out who was who. Cat enlightened me by telling me her name and showing me the mole.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Karen studying him. “I think that’s called cheating.” He cast a quick look in her direction, then returned his gaze to the safer path of the car’s headlights on the darkened road.
“If you’d made time to play with them, you’d have found out, too,” she said softly.
The statement slashed through his insides. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get closer to his family. He just knew that when you got too close to anything, fate found a way to drive you apart again. He’d tried for years to get close to his father and in the end, the pain of not being able to had driven a wedge between them. He’d lost not only his father, but his family, as well.
Having had enough of family for one day, he shook his head. “About the sights around town…”
“Please don’t feel that you have to take me. I’ll find them on my own. I’m sure someone in town can direct me.” Karen couldn’t believe she was throwing away a golden opportunity to be alone with Jesse and finally get him to talk about Paul. She knew only that she was more aware of him now than she’d ever been of any man in her life, and she needed time to come to terms with that before jumping into an intense situation where there would be no one but them around.
“I’m glad you said that. I don’t think it would be a good move, either.”
Well, he’d jumped at that like a fish to a worm, she thought, insanely regretting she’d made it so easy for him to back out.
Having nothing to add, Karen leaned her head back against the seat. The quiet and the motion of the car lulled her into a half sleep. All that fresh air and exercise she’d had today, plus not sleeping well in a strange bed, were taking their toll.
“So, how did you like the Kingston family’s version of a backyard barbecue?”
Karen yawned, then stretched. “Well, in addition to having one of the best days I can ever remember, I got a terrific taste of rural life. For instance, I know now that I can find room for chocolate cake, even when I’m sure my stomach can’t hold another ounce of food, and that after the sun goes down the human body becomes a target for every blood-sucking insect in the world.” She absently scratched one of the insect bites on the fair skin of her inner arm.
Her profile drew his gaze. With her hair tousled by the breeze coming from the AC vent and a trace of sunburn coloring her cheeks, she took his breath away. He didn’t think anything could surpass the beauty he found in his mountains, but Karen did. And it wasn’t just surface beauty. Quickly, he averted his attention back to the road.
Despite his best efforts not to, he recalled how she’d interacted with the twins, and how he’d envied her relaxed ease with them and Danny. She’d fit in with his family like an old comfortable shoe, something he’d always longed for, but had never been able to achieve. Karen had done it in one short afternoon without even trying and had soaked every second up like a thirsty sponge. She had an ability to draw people to her like flies to honey, an inner beauty that radiated…what?
He had no idea. But whatever it was, Jesse knew that particular quality had been missing from his makeup for as long as he could remember. He just didn’t mix with people. Which was why he was better suited to the solitude of the forest. But even that had been marred now by Paul’s death
Thoughts of Paul reminded him that he had no business thinking about Karen like any other woman. She wasn’t any other woman. She’d been Paul’s girlfriend. His illicit girlfriend, he reminded himself. Had she known Paul was married? No. After having seen her genuineness today, he could not believe she would intentionally step between a man and his family.
Jesse pulled the SUV to the curb in front of the Land of Nod Bed-and-Breakfast and stopped.
“Jesse, I want to ask you something, and it may not be any of my business, but…” Karen paused and stared out the window.
“But?” He held his breath waiting for her to ask about Paul.
When she turned her face to him, shadows made it impossible for him to see her expression. “Why do you hold your family at arm’s length? I mean, they’re so warm and friendly, and you just don’t seem to even try to fit in. I never really had a family like that and…Well, I’d give just about anything to have all those loving people around me all the time.”
That was definitely not what Jess had expected. Relief took hold of him first, followed quickly by surprise, then a wave of anger at the imposition of her prying into his personal life. A product of long conditioning, his defenses rose like an invisible shield against a towering beast. “You’re right. It’s none of your business.”
She sighed and released the seat belt. Turning to him, she laid a hand on his thigh. “They want you to be part of them, part of their lives. Can’t you see that?”
Easy for her to say. His family might want him to join in now, but what about later? What about when they found out what had happened that day in the woods? How would he live with the pain of their rejection again?
He removed her hand from where it was burning into his flesh through the material of his jeans and sending strange sensations through him, tempting him to do things they’d both be