“Hi, Katie.” Abigail walked slowly toward her so as not to startle her. The little girl rubbed her eyes and blinked up at her as she drew closer.
Without hesitation, Katie stretched out both arms to be lifted up. Instinctively Abby bent down and obliged her.
The moment those soft little arms crept around her neck, the little head tucked beneath Abby’s chin, she was lost all over again. All the longings for a daughter, all the wishes for a little girl in starched dresses and patent leather shoes…She and Jim used to lie awake at night and talk about what it would be like to have a daughter. Pink things and lacy stuff. Frilly dresses. Bows. Pigtails. Baton lessons.
The child smelled of warm sheets and baby shampoo. A picture of those big hands of Jack’s lathering this tiny head appeared in her imagination. A man had to be unique, very special to actually take the time to perform the many tasks of raising a child alone.
And this child trusted that the adults in her life would love her and cherish her and do all the right things by her. She had no way of knowing that her mother wasn’t in the picture. Not yet anyway. Abby kissed her soft cheek.
That was what Jack saw when he glanced up from his conversation about camping with the boys, the repair of the car just about completed. His daughter was being happily hugged and talked to by the cool and beautiful Abigail Roberts. The picture contracted his heart.
He detected a gentleness in the way Abby soothed his daughter. Caring. He wanted this for Katie. She deserved it. She was just a toddler and relied on him to make the best decisions for her.
Regret washed over him like a bucket of ice water. Maybe he hadn’t tried hard enough to save his marriage. Maybe it was all his fault. His wife had told him it was all the time. Maybe…
He couldn’t afford to dwell on what-ifs. He looked at Abby. What were these feelings she stirred in him? Gratitude. Nothing else, he assured himself. The fact that his body had tuned itself into hers the minute she had yanked the door open was only the reflection of appreciation that a workable solution might be on the horizon. To think of her in any other way would be too dangerous at this point in his life.
Okay. So he was just downright attracted to her. Strongly charmed by her. That was the natural, biological way of things. But this was business. This was only for the sake of a bunch of kids that needed some strain of normalcy in their lives.
Well, maybe one one-hundredth would be for him. A little everyday, ordinary peace and contentment. And what could it hurt to have a beautiful, sweetsmelling female to brighten up his every hour? As long as he looked but didn’t even think about touching.
Abigail sensed that Jack was watching, and she turned toward the table to see that he sat there, dwarfing it. Something strange ran through her heart. Something warm and exiting. Something promising. She held something that was vital to him in her arms, just as she was trusting him with two little somethings that were her very life.
“Someone is looking for you, Daddy.”
After taking just a few more seconds to enjoy the view, he got up, walked over to them and trapped Abby’s gaze with his own. “Well, she found me, Mommy,” he teased.
Just his use of the word conjured pictures. Ones that came too quickly and too brightly.
Time ticked between them. Suspended. One. Two. Three.
He took Katie when she fell forward into his arms. They stood close, Abby and Jack. Tiny white-hot sparks danced the short distance between them to heat the air. Abigail’s gaze rested on the strong, muscled arms that supported the child, the wide, square hand that chucked her under her chin. She wondered what his hands would feel like on her body.
She immediately pulled her gaze away and walked to the sink to run water, rinsing this morning’s frying pan before shoving it in the dishwasher. Anything to keep occupied.
Ben, assuming the need for his help was over, headed for the other room and the television. Abby was sure he had already made up his mind about a nanny and very little could change it.
Abby listened to the sound of Jack’s footsteps as he returned to the table with his daughter. She liked the sound. Security. How could a near-stranger make her feel secure in her own home?
“This is Katie. Katie, that’s Nick, and that guy over there, leaving, is Ben. Say hello.”
“’Lo.”
Nick, who had appointed himself the man of the house since Jim’s death, picked up a cookie and offered it to Katie. She took it and slid down from her daddy’s lap, scooted under the table and came up on the other side to sit in the chair next to Nick. Ben voiced a forced greeting and disappeared around the doorway, and Abby listened to him plop onto the sofa and click the remote.
Abby sighed. There had to be more than a dozen ways for a heart to break. Ben was experiencing all of them.
Abby locked the door on the dishwasher and twisted the knob. It looked as if Jack would be there awhile now that he had appointed himself mechanic. The machine began its cycle.
Jack’s head whipped up at the low, screeching noise. “Did you lock a cat in there?”
Nick laughed and Abby asked, “What?”
“That noise.”
“Oh, that. I’ve gotten so used to it that I don’t hear it anymore.”
“Mom tried to fix it, but she got stuck.”
“Mr. Murdock doesn’t want to hear about that, Nicky.”
Jack grinned, assuring her that he did. “Turn it off. I’ll have a look at it.”
“Thanks.” Realizing she’d just be in the way, and wanting her kids to get to know Jack, she decided to leave. “I’ll be upstairs if you want anything.”
She climbed the stairs to get on with the vacuuming. As soon as she heard herself humming, she stopped short. This was new. The thought of cleaning the rugs had never brought on singing before. Either this was a good sign or a very bad one.
A diversion. Something new in their lives. Katie and Jack. They were like a beautifully wrapped box placed in front of her. A gift from someone unknown. The wondering, the curiosity at what she would find once she opened the lid, was getting the better of her.
She forced the thoughts from her mind as she plugged in the cord and stepped on the switch, bringing the machine to life. No thinking. That had been her rule for many, many months. She counted each back-and-forth motion of the vacuum wand, one, two, three, four. Keep her mind from wandering to the man below in her kitchen, five, six, seven, eight.
When she went back downstairs, completely convinced that she had only imagined the effect Jack Murdock had on her, Nick and Jack were discussing a cabin that Jack owned somewhere up north. “And when I was a kid, we used to go sleigh riding for the entire day and have huge bonfires to roast hot dogs at night. We’d be so tired, our parents had to carry us home.”
And Abby felt that edge, that awakening stir inside of her. again. It wasn’t her imagination. It was him. Just by being who he was, he was able to wake her out of her emotional deep sleep. Even though it was the last thing she wanted. Control. She was in command of her emotions. She would rule.
They continued their chitchat about Little League and booster shots.
Abby took the clothes out of the washer and headed out back to hang them on the line. Even if she decided to give this little scene a chance, they couldn’t just fall in like roommates on some nighttime sitcom. There had to be decorum. Some distance. Just the thought of a strange man in the house was more than a bit unsettling. Yet somehow Jack didn’t seen like a outsider.