His indignation smoldered. However, his anger wasn’t directed at her, but at himself. Why wasn’t he able to control his own mind? His own flesh? These damnable carnal thoughts?
He’d concluded that his anxiety was the cause, that he was being plagued by the dreams because he was worrying about repaying the woman what he owed. However, why the night fantasies would take on such an erotic tone continued to confuse him.
“Losing Amy and David has been so hard,” she whispered. “And not being able to have Lily with me has been…well, it’s been like losing my entire family.”
Moisture made her brown eyes shine, and a tear rolled down her milky cheek. He experienced the most peculiar reaction. He wanted to comfort her. To reach out and wipe away that tear. To offer the solution she so desperately searched for.
What the hell? Had he lost his mind? Was he honestly contemplating her crazy scheme?
No! a voice in his head shouted. A union such as the one this woman was suggesting would make a mockery of the marriage he’d had—and lost. A loving union that had ended much too soon.
Marrying Jenna Butler would denigrate the memory of the woman he’d loved. The woman he continued to mourn.
Taking sacred vows that would tie him to a complete stranger in order that she might obtain custody of a baby would disrespect the infant daughter he’d lost so tragically…a child for whom Gage grieved every day of his miserable life.
“I’m sorry.” Emotion swam in the pit of his gut, hazed his thinking. But he fought to remain resolute. “Jenna, I understand your pain. More than you realize.” The lump that had swelled in his throat made it difficult to breathe. “But I cannot help you.”
Her chin trembled, and Gage had to force himself not to look away from the heartbreak expressed on her angelic face. He couldn’t let her tears affect him. He braced himself by gritting his teeth so tightly that a dull ache began to pulsate in the joints of his jaw.
“You can’t? Or you won’t?”
“What does it matter? I refuse to participate in your foolish plan. You cannot dupe the Council into handing over your niece. You try, and they’ll forbid you from having any contact with her.”
Jenna’s eyes went wide. “They can’t do that.”
“They can. And they will, if they come to the conclusion that that’s what’s best for your niece. They are the law on Broken Bow.”
Suddenly, her resolve crumbled. She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with soft sobs. Discomfited, Gage stuffed his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. He sympathized with her, but there was nothing he could do.
“You owe me!” she exclaimed, jerking up her head to glare at him as she dashed at her tears. “You told me so yourself. You owe me for saving your life that day the storm washed out Reservation Road. You called it something. A present. Wasn’t it? A life present?”
Of course, he hadn’t forgotten. The debt he owed had weighed heavy on his mind over the past weeks. But since she’d presented her ludicrous proposal, he’d hoped like hell she wouldn’t remember. He had every intention of returning the favor. Somehow. Someway. If he did not, he would suffer for all eternity, for his soul would not be permitted to cross over to the other side. However, he refused to believe that the gift would take the form of a wedding band. It wouldn’t if there was any chance he could avoid it.
“Life Gift,” he corrected her. “I owe you a Life Gift.” He pulled his hands free from his pockets and lifted them, palms up. “Before you left me there on the road, you asked me to pray for your sister. I did that.”
“But your prayer didn’t keep Amy alive, now did it?”
They stared at each other in silence. Finally, he said, “You can’t expect me to marry you.”
“Why?” True concern creased her forehead. “Do your beliefs dictate against such a union? Marrying out of need rather than love?”
“No.” He shook his head. Were he not an honorable man, he’d lie his way out of this. “But you have to agree, you’re asking an awful lot of me here. Even if I would consider it, the Elders aren’t going to be fooled, Jenna. They won’t trust a marriage that’s coming at them out of the blue. They’d be suspicious. Surely, they’d require that you live here. On the rez. With me. Your husband.”
“I’m prepared to do that,” she told him. Her face was still damp, but hope shone in her still-moist eyes and eagerness brightened her tone. “A couple of months should do it, don’t you think? Surely not more than three.”
“But I don’t even know you.” He planted his hands on his hips, baffled by the fact that she was truly serious about this outrageous idea.
“Within three months,” she continued in a rush, “I’m certain I can win them over. I can prove to the Elders that I’m worthy to raise Lily. They’ll see me everywhere with her. I’ll attend all of the community functions. I’ll even participate. You have gatherings and special celebrations, right? I read about them in the paper all the time.” She didn’t wait for an answer. “And anytime we’re away from the ranch, I’ll play the part of a loving and devoted wife so no one will ever know of our marriage pact. I promise you that the truth will never come out. I’ll need to learn all I can about your culture if I’m to teach Lily. I can’t start too soon with something so important, right? The Council will love my attitude on that subject, don’t you—”
“Jenna! Stop!”
She went quiet.
“I can’t do this.” He let the words sink in, and then he firmly repeated, “I can’t.”
He braced himself for more tears, but what he hadn’t prepared himself for was the tenacity that firmed her jaw.
“So your life isn’t worth three measly months of your time?”
Accusation made her question uncomfortably sharp. Without breaking eye contact with him, she sniffed and reached up to rub the tip of her nose with the back of her hand.
Shame fell on his shoulders like a load of cinder blocks. He tried to shrug the feeling off, but it only grew heavier. He frowned.
He would not allow her to humiliate him into doing something—
“Do you owe me, Gage Dalton? The day of the storm, you made this Life Gift sound like a very serious thing.”
She had no idea just how serious.
Chagrin shot through him like white-hot lightning, and she clearly sensed it. He knew she could tell what her allegations were doing to him. And it only made her doggedness all the stronger.
She folded her arms across her chest. “So…are you going to pay your debt, or aren’t you?”
Jenna Butler had him backed into a corner, and there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it.
“And you have proof that this marriage is actually going to take place?”
Disapproval tightened the shaman’s wrinkled face. Of all the Elders sitting at the long oak table, Chee’pai had presented Jenna with the most vehement resistance. A contrary man, he’d been adamant from day one that Lily not leave the reservation.
“Of course,” Jenna told him. Nerves writhed in her stomach, turned her knees jelly-weak, but she made every effort to keep her hand from trembling when she offered the marriage license to him. He took it from her. Although he hadn’t ever been