“I’m scared, Dr. Holmes. And confused. I don’t even know…” Tears welled up in her eyes, and her tongue turned to mush.
The doctor snatched a tissue from the countertop, handed it to Jilly and slipped an arm around her shoulder. “Why don’t you make an appointment to come back in and see me later this week, when you’ve had a chance to think about things. We can talk about options.”
“Options?”
“Well, you don’t have to keep the baby.”
Give her baby up?
No way.
Jilly didn’t need to hear any options. Her pregnancy might be totally unplanned, but this was her baby. It wasn’t the poor kid’s fault its mommy made a big mistake in the daddy-picking process.
“I don’t need to think about options, Doctor, but I would like to talk to you about…stuff.” Jilly swiped the tissue under her eyes. It was times like this that she really missed having a mother, although she hadn’t been able to depend upon her mom when she’d been alive. But the fact was, Jilly didn’t have anyone, not a sister or even a real girlfriend—the kind that kept secrets and didn’t blab them all over town. “I don’t have a clue what to expect. And I’m nervous.”
“I can understand that.” Dr. Holmes smiled. “I’ll have to check the schedule, but I think Friday afternoon is open.”
“Thanks,” Jilly muttered.
“Do you have someone you can talk to? A mother or sister? A friend?”
“Yeah, sort of.” She had a friend, all right. Only this had to be the heaviest problem she’d ever dumped on him.
“Feel free to call me anytime,” the doctor said.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be okay.”
Now all Jilly needed to do was convince her self that she could handle this unplanned turn of events.
Jilly carried her secret for two days before she gave in to the urge to contact Jeff.
Who else could she turn to? Certainly not Cain. Jeff had always been there for her, even when he and MAFFS were out fighting fires. She figured e-mail would be her best bet, especially if she tried to reach him through his business address.
Her only other resort was to call Reed Kingsley, Jeff’s cousin. But Reed was the Rumor fire chief and Cain’s boss.
Quite frankly, she didn’t want to go that route.
In the past, Jeff had always managed to answer her e-mail. Eventually.
Hey, flyboy, she typed into the computer screen. He’d earned the nickname by dragging her out to every airport in the county to look at planes and talk to the air junkies who hung out there. Can you give me a call when you get a chance? I need to talk to you.
It was another day and evening before Jeff read her e-mail and got a chance to use his cell phone.
“What’s up, Jilly?”
When she heard his voice over the line, for the first time in her life, she found it hard to speak. She carried the portable phone to the sofa and plopped down.
Posey, having followed her around for days and sensing her distress, hopped up to join her.
“Are you there?” Jeff asked.
Yeah, she was here. Pregnant and struggling with how to form the words. She cleared her voice and forced herself to speak. “I need a friend.”
The simple phrase had become a code between them, letting him know she’d screwed something up in her life and needed him to bail her out.
And she’d certainly “screwed things up” this time. She rolled her eyes at the apt description.
“Jilly, I’m a bit tied up right now, but I’ll do what I can. What’s wrong?”
She squeezed the receiver until her knuckles ached. How could she tell Jeff that she was pregnant by the guy he’d repeatedly warned her about? The guy he’d never liked since grade school. The guy she should have known to avoid from day one.
Well, she certainly couldn’t keep Jeff hanging on the line, not when he was probably calling from the command post at the fire.
“I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?” Static crackled on the line, but she had a feeling he would have voiced the same question had he been standing next to her.
I’m what? had been her initial reaction, too. It still was. Lord, would she ever get used to the idea of being pregnant?
She blew out a weary sigh. “I really don’t know how it happened, or how I failed to notice the signs. But I’m four months pregnant, Jeff.”
The line froze, or so it seemed. Not even the static responded, which led her to wonder if he’d hung up. She shook off the old insecurity. Jeff wouldn’t do that to her.
“Have you told Cain?”
Heck no, she hadn’t called that jerk. What did Cain have to offer her? More lies? More stress?
She needed a friend, someone she could depend on. She needed Jeff, like she never had before.
Jilly had never been one to wade into deep psychological waters, but Jeff was a stabilizing force in her life, and his sobering influence curtailed the rebellious streak that often got her into trouble.
And she was in big trouble now.
“I’m not going to tell Cain anything,” she said. “Even if he was inclined to offer marriage or a hand in child rearing, I’ve learned my lesson. He’s not daddy or husband material. I’m going to go through this alone.”
“Now, just a minute. That guy has a responsibility to live up to, even if it’s just sending you a monthly check for child support.”
“I don’t need him or his money.” Jilly was used to living on a budget and depending upon herself.
“You need his financial support. And he needs to face up to his responsibilities—for once in his life.”
Jeff was probably right. He always was, so it seemed. What would she have done without him?
When he left town five years ago, she was sure he was leaving her, like every other male she’d ever known. But he’d called her every week, insisting on maintaining a friendship. And she was glad he had, although their friendship did have a downside.
Jeff often took on the role of a big brother and criticized everyone she’d ever dated, saying the guy wasn’t good enough for her, which was sweet, she supposed.
It was also true, unfortunately.
Jilly never picked the right kind of guy. Her recent experience with Cain was certainly proof of that.
But Jeff was right, as much as she hated to admit it. She had to tell Cain about the baby, even though she didn’t want to.
Jilly had always dreamed of falling in love, getting married and having a baby—in that order. Guilt assaulted her, and she hated the idea of parenting a child with a man who wasn’t the white knight she’d once thought.
But worse, she dreaded raising a child in a single-parent home.
Usually able to don a tough exterior, she broke down in blubbery tears.
Jeff couldn’t stand to hear Jilly cry. She was such a tough cookie on the outside, but inside she was delicate, a tenderhearted softy.
He gave her time to cry, which is what he would have done had he been there to hold her. Still, her tears always did a number on him, and he needed time