He was willing to do whatever he had to do to bring down the enemy, but the fact was, he’d been hiding in shadows for so long, he no longer knew what he looked like in the light.
Gray stared at the cigarette burning between his fingers. Reflexively, he spread his index and middle finger and watched the cigarette fall over the edge of the roof and into the darkness below.
The time for mourning lost opportunities had passed. He’d made his choices and now he had to play them out. It didn’t matter that he’d never based those choices on his own needs. Trying to find the man he’d lost so many years ago was pointless. In fact, that man had never existed. Gray had only been sixteen when his identity had begun to slip away.
He took a step back, straightening the collar on his black blazer, which he wore over jeans and a T-shirt, both black. His break was over. And so was the bittersweet glimpse of his past.
As Gray hurried down the stairs, he couldn’t know that after nine years, he was about to look into the eyes of the only person who had ever known the real Keshon Gray.
Chapter 1
Even small victories deserved to be celebrated. Rennie Williams had been a psychologist long enough to appreciate that fact.
She smiled across the table at her two best friends. Their busy schedules had prevented them from having a girls’ night out for quite a while, and now they were making up for lost time.
“We have a lot to celebrate tonight.” As she reached for her margarita, Rennie’s gaze shifted to the first person she’d met when she moved back to L.A.—a corporate attorney she’d picked out of the phone book to help her sort through the legal details of setting up a private practice. “To Marlena, the only woman to be made a partner at Loudon, Crosby and Wade.”
Then Rennie turned to the second woman at the table, a nurse at the Family Planning Clinic, which was located in the L.A. Help Center on the same floor as Rennie’s office. “To Alise, after two years with a man who didn’t deserve you, you’re finally free. And to me, for making it through my first year on my own as a counselor for women.”
The women started to raise their glasses in salute, but Rennie held them off. “I’m almost done. To feminine energy, wisdom and strength,” Rennie said, finishing her toast. “We’ve proven we can do anything.”
Marlena and Alise cheered, clinking their glasses against hers.
The past year hadn’t been easy for Rennie, but that only made her small successes more meaningful. Tonight one of her clients, Sarita Juarez, was making her singing debut in Ocean nightclub’s Sand Castle Lounge, which featured salsa music. It was the perfect opportunity for Rennie to have a well-deserved good time with her friends and to show support for the client Rennie had struggled hardest to reach over the last few months.
When Rennie’s mind drifted back from her reverie, she noticed that Alise and Marlena were having a spirited discussion on their favorite topic—men.
Marlena shot Rennie one of her world-famous probing looks. “You’re the shrink, Ren. Why are women so attracted to bad boys?”
Caught off guard, Rennie looked from one woman to the other. “How did you two get onto this topic?”
Alise grinned. “Marlena has a theory that certain types of men are like irresistible poison. She thinks if we compare notes, we can come up with an antidote.”
“Yeah. There must be some psychological concept to back my theory, right, Rennie?”
She took a long sip from her drink, enjoying the tangy lime taste. “I’m off the clock, guys. You’re on your own.” The spicy salsa tempo was working its way down her spine. She was having too much fun to get into a heavy discussion about men.
Marlena threw a twenty on the table. “There. That should cover fifteen minutes of your time. Go,” she ordered, snapping her fingers.
Laughing, Rennie threw the money at her friend. Marlena was the type who expected to get her way and it was useless to fight it. “Fine. It’s really not that complicated. A woman has an inherent need to tame the wild beast. We’re attracted to bad boys because they’re sexy and dangerous, and we secretly believe that we can change them.”
“Yeah, but we all know that’s a crock of—”
“Marlena.” Alise cut her off. “Don’t try to pretend you’ve never gotten taken in by a bad boy. What about Troy Hopkins in college?”
The smug lawyer blushed. “I was young. I didn’t know better, and besides, it’s hard to resist a guy who looks that good in a pair of jeans.”
Alise giggled. “Apparently, half the girls on campus felt the same way. He had so many girlfriends Marlena had to book her dates three weeks in advance.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough about me,” Marlena said, draining her glass.
“Well, everybody already knows my story.” Alise rolled the edge of her cocktail napkin between two fingers. “I’m lucky I finally got rid of Ron before he spent what was left of my 401K. What about you, Rennie? Have you ever dated a bad boy?”
“No,” she answered without thinking as she scanned the dance floor.
There hadn’t been many men in her life. The few she’d dated in college were bookish introverts who’d had no problem keeping her company in the library on Saturday nights. Getting a scholarship to college had been an opportunity she’d had no intention of wasting.
Rennie had stayed out of the social scene, partially out of self-preservation and partially because she’d been too numb inside to allow herself any fun.
“You’ve never dated a bad boy? Not even in high school?” Alise asked. “No guys who drove too fast or smoked under the bleachers?”
“Uh…well, maybe one. But everyone just thought he was a bad boy. He really wasn’t.” Rennie stiffened. At least, she hadn’t thought so at the time.
“I see. It’s the old ‘he’s just misunderstood’ routine,” Marlena said. “Okay, I’ll bite. Why did everyone think he was a bad boy?”
Rennie bit her lip. “Because he was in a gang.” She felt her face heat, knowing how incriminating her words sounded. Alise and Marlena had grown up in normal suburban households. She couldn’t expect them to understand how complicated circumstances had been then.
“Whoa.” Alise’s eyes went wide.
“A gang?” Marlena looked intrigued. “As in Crips and Bloods? That type of a gang?”
Rennie shifted uncomfortably in the booth. “Sort of, but it was a much smaller local gang.” Why had she opened her big mouth?
Marlena grinned wickedly, clearly enjoying herself. That meant she was getting ready to grill Rennie over an open flame. “So, Ren, how did your guy look in a pair of jeans?”
Rennie was surprised that she still felt a gnawing ache in her heart when she allowed herself to think about Gray. So many regrets. So many what ifs. But despite the sting, her body still remembered him with heat that could burn white-hot.
“He was really good-looking,” Rennie said, wishing she hadn’t allowed herself to become the center of attention. “He was light-skinned with a body like a Chippendale’s dancer. Need I say more?” Her description didn’t do him justice, but it was enough to satisfy her friends.
Alise pushed her daiquiri, half full, to the side so she could lean closer to Rennie. “What was he like?”
“He was sweet. Gray looked out for me. He