“I’m his father. I am family,” he said, not unkindly. “He’s young, with the right structure and guidance he’ll adjust.”
Samantha cringed, his words like a dagger to her heart. “I love him,” she challenged Alex. “Can you say the same?”
Silent, he stared at her.
The shrill ring of the phone broke the tense moment. He frowned at the interruption. She watched his internal struggle, but in the end duty won. He rounded the desk and snatched up the receiver. “Sullivan.”
She headed for the door. Wanting to escape, to rethink and regroup. And to plan what to do next. Let him take his call. She was out of there.
“Samantha.”
The authority in his voice stopped her. Reluctantly, she half-turned, looking at him over her shoulder.
He stood with his hand over the mouthpiece, his expression resolute. “I haven’t been given the opportunity to love him. Isn’t that why you brought him to me?”
Stricken, she turned away. That’s exactly why she’d brought Gabe to him.
In the hall, she slumped against the wall, her heart in shreds as she thought of the hard man on the other side of the door. He threatened all the family she had left.
Gabe had someone fighting for him. But she feared she’d be the one to lose.
On Saturday Samantha secured the strap on Gabe’s car seat, dodging his busy fists to do so. She’d told him about Alex’s bid for custody, but of course he didn’t understand. He didn’t worry, as she did, that their time together might be limited. “I should just pack you up and run away with you. Then he couldn’t take you from me.”
“Ducky. Ducky,” Gabe said hopefully.
“That’s right.” Smiling at his one-track mind, Samantha chucked him under the chin. “We’re going to feed the duckies.”
He’d been cranky with teething pains today, and since the sunny afternoon had chased away the morning chill, she’d promised him a trip to the pond to distract him.
Thank goodness he didn’t understand. He deserved happiness and security. As long as he was with her, that’s what he’d get.
After handing him a cookie and making sure the bag of bread crumbs was out of his reach, she straightened from the back seat and closed the door. Turning, she practically stubbed her nose on Alex’s chest.
“Oh!” she exclaimed in surprise. Reacting to his nearness, she took a quick step back from the breadth of him, from the soap and male smell of him. And promptly found her fanny pressed up against the car.
Dread landed heavy in her stomach. Had he heard her thoughtless comment about running away?
“What are you doing here?” she asked with more bite than she’d intended.
“I came to see Gabe.” Alex tucked his hands in his pants pockets, taupe Dockers topped by a navy polo shirt, and stood his ground. His stance effectively blocked her path. “It looks like you have plans.”
Was he baiting her? Unwilling to play mouse to his cat, she addressed the issue directly. “I’m not going to run with him.”
He lifted a dark eyebrow, but he didn’t really look surprised. “I didn’t think you would.”
“But you heard me?”
“Yes,” he said, looking beyond her to where Gabe began to fidget in his car seat.
“You don’t sound too concerned,” she responded, wondering whether to be pleased or insulted by his lack of reaction. Did he trust her or consider her so minor a threat he needn’t worry?
He shrugged. “Unlike your sister, you have too much integrity to run.”
Did she? Or did she simply lack the courage? Apparently he had more faith in her than she had in herself. “You sound pretty sure of that.”
From less than a foot away, he looked her straight in the eyes. “You would never have brought him to my attention if you didn’t believe he needed me.”
She had no answer against the truth, a truth that had driven her to move more than four-hundred miles and landed her in this bind. Refusing to admit he’d touched a nerve, she moved sideways and opened the driver’s door, sliding behind the wheel.
“We’re going to Paradise Pond to feed the ducks. You can come if you want.”
“Fee’ ducky!” Gabe demanded from the back.
Alex rounded the front of the car and slid in next to her.
They traveled the few miles to their destination in silence. The walking trail surrounding Paradise Pond had been revamped when the sports center and a picnic area were built up near the south bank. Pushing Gabe’s stroller, Samantha led the way. A sandy beach allowed them to get right next to the water.
Lifting Gabe onto her hip, she pointed to the ducks paddling about twenty feet from shore. Reaching into her bag of bread crumbs, she tossed a handful into the water to lure the birds closer.
As the ducks drew near, Gabe wiggled and pushed against her. “Down.”
She set him on the ground, and he clutched her finger as he danced in glee. He grabbed a handful of bread crumbs and threw them to the ducks. Unfortunately, the crumbs traveled about two feet then fell to the shore.
Gabe’s lower lip began to tremble and tears welled in his big blue eyes.
“Poor baby, he’s teething.” She explained so Alex wouldn’t think Gabe was usually this moody. She reached to pick him up again.
“Let me.” Alex swept the boy up and deposited him on his shoulders. He handled Gabe with such ease and grace, she knew he’d done this before.
Startled by his new position in life, Gabe grabbed Alex’s hair in two chubby fists. Not even flinching, Alex stepped up to the lapping water and offered Gabe another handful of bread.
This time most of the crumbs landed in the water and the ducks swam closer to feed. Delighted, Gabe proceeded to feed the ducks.
Samantha swallowed hard, the sight of father and son together both a pleasure and a pain. This was what she wanted for Gabe, a father who spent time with him. Over the past few months, she’d seen how close the extended Sullivan family was; brothers, cousins and grandmother supported each other without question.
Unconditional love, it was what Samantha desperately wanted for Gabe. But why did it have to be at the cost of her relationship with him?
It wasn’t the time or the place, but Samantha had to know. “Would you consider shared custody?”
Alex whipped around to frown at her then he winced as Gabe pulled his hair. Reaching up to ease the boy’s grip, Alex was struck by the vulnerability she couldn’t hide. He went completely still.
Her creamy-white skin looked bruised under green eyes shadowed by worry. She’d lost weight, too. Her jeans and white cotton sweater clinging to her curves a little less faithfully than the day she’d come to his home.
She looked as if the mountain breeze could lift her up and carry her over the small pond. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and keep her safe, but he couldn’t allow sympathy or temptation to sway his better judgment.
He didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t honor her request. Visitations, yes, but not shared custody.
When he looked back on the years after his parents died, the only thing holding him together while he struggled to help with his brothers had been knowing who he was and where he belonged. Gram worked hard to give his brothers and him that sense of continuity and belonging. No way he could look her in the face and do less for his son.
He hadn’t planned