“Sure. I can see that.”
His frustration grew along with his temper. He got to his feet. “Dammit, woman. I would never abandon a child, because I know exactly what it feels like.”
Tara couldn’t move, couldn’t breath. She wanted so badly not to believe him. But the look in his dark eyes, the loneliness that showed in the depths of his gaze told her he understood what it was like not to be wanted.
She started to speak, but Matt held up his hand. “Sorry. I guess we need to step back here.” He did as he suggested and took a calming breath. “I can see my word isn’t going to convince you of anything.”
Tara pulled a piece of note paper from her purse and handed it to him. “This is the motel where we’re staying. I’m going to be in town until tomorrow. If you decide that you want to be a part of Erin’s life, call me.” She went to the sofa and carefully bundled up her sleeping niece, then gathered her things. She walked out the door wishing that Matt Landers would stop her but also praying that he wouldn’t so she could get on with her life. Her life with Erin.
A few seconds later Matt heard the outer office door close. This was a continuing nightmare. He turned to the large window behind his desk. Before him was an incredible view of the Pacific Ocean. Usually after a rough eight-hour surgery or a consultation with parents when he had to tell them bad news, he could find peace and solace in the mesmerizing waves, lose himself in the sound of the rolling surf. None of it helped him now.
The day his damn wallet had been stolen his entire life turned upside down. Matthew James Landers’s credit had been shot to hell, and there was next to nothing he could do about it. Damn. It hadn’t been enough that the thief used his credit cards, but taking over his identity was worse. Now the man had fathered a child in his name. Matt clenched his fists, fighting anger and…a twinge of envy. He pounded the window frame.
“Hell, is this mess ever going to end?” he asked. Today had been the last straw. And to torment him with a child. That went beyond cruel.
Again his thoughts turned to the pretty woman, Tara McNeal, who’d stood in his office not thirty seconds ago. Damn. Forget her…forget the baby.
Call your lawyer, Matt told himself. Let him handle it. But something in those green eyes of hers told him that she was as much a victim as he was. The ironic thing was that Tara McNeal was offering him his heart’s desire. The one thing he’d wanted and couldn’t have.
A child.
Later that afternoon, Matt heard voices coming from the outer office. He got up and opened the door to find his friend Nick Malone coming down the hall.
“Hey, what brings you here?” Matt asked, grinning.
The dark-haired computer software genius smiled back. “I wanted to see if you were available for golf Wednesday.”
Matt was eager for any distraction. “You know I’m always ready for a game, but since when are you? I believe your exact words were, ‘I don’t have time to chase around a little white ball.’”
Nick dropped into the chair across from Matt’s desk. “I hear the balls come in different colors now.”
“Yeah, sure. What’s the real reason?”
“It’s Cari’s idea. She wants me to cut back on my hours at the plant. Take more downtime for myself.”
Matt knew Cari Malone well. Before she’d married Nick and given birth to two beautiful children, she had been a nurse on the pediatric floor. One of the best. “So, she still hasn’t given up on changing you.”
There was a glint in Nick’s gray eyes. “And I hope she never does. She and the kids make everything so…perfect.”
Matt knew his friend’s life had been far from perfect before Cari walked into it and offered her love to Nick and his son, Danny. Love and kids. Something Matt had avoided over the years. His relationships had always been guarded, avoiding anything permanent. Besides, his demanding career made it nearly impossible for him to have a personal life. At thirty-eight, he wished things could be different. A picture of a perky redhead holding a baby flashed in his head. He blinked away the fantasy.
Matt tried to smile but couldn’t quite make it, and Nick spotted something amiss right away.
“What’s wrong, friend?”
Matt shrugged. “Just a rough day. A new patient, a little boy who has a rough road ahead.”
Nick’s gaze locked with his. “If anyone can pull it off, you can. You gave Danny a normal life.”
Nick’s eight-year-old son had had a heart transplant six years ago and had been under Matt’s care.
“A lot of factors entered into Danny’s recovery and continued good health, including having parents who love him.” Matt thought about the baby girl who had been in his office. A child who needed him to be a father. It was too bad that…
Nick’s words interrupted his thoughts. “Hey, pal. You sure there isn’t anything else on your mind?”
Matt sighed. “This morning I was told I was a father.”
Chapter Two
That evening Tara leaned over the portable baby crib in the corner of the small motel room. Erin had been fed, changed and dressed in her pajamas, and she was finally asleep.
Tara placed a kiss on the baby’s rosy cheek, then went to the double bed and sat down. If Erin would sleep a few hours, she could get some rest, too. But Tara doubted she could sleep. Not after what had happened this afternoon. Not after Matthew Landers had denied ever knowing Bri.
Tara rubbed her temples. The headache she’d woken up with still plagued her. She checked her watch. It was getting late, and the good doctor hadn’t called. So he didn’t care about his own child.
She went into the small kitchenette and located the bottle of aspirin, poured a glass of water and swallowed two tablets.
Tara had had firsthand experience with waiting for a father. Her father hadn’t hung around, not for long, anyway. Having a wife and two daughters had been too much for Sean McNeal. He was busy chasing the next big deal. Nothing was going to keep him from what he wanted, not even the responsibility of a family. Sean was going to be rich, he’d told everyone. Even his small daughters had gotten caught up in his crazy dreams until they found out the man was nothing but a fake.
By the time Tara turned fourteen, her dad had disappeared from their lives for good. For months her mother cried, leaving Tara wishing she could help. When her mother had to take on another job to keep the family together, her eldest daughter had been put in charge of watching eight-year-old Briana.
Regret filled Tara. Maybe if she’d done a better job, her baby sister would be alive today. But Bri had always been headstrong. From an early age, she’d had a wild streak. Unlike Tara, she ran after life, and after men, looking for the love their father had denied them.
“I should have been there for you,” Tara whispered, believing that Briana left Phoenix because she felt smothered. “I should have gone to visit you. We were family.”
Tara had been busy with college and her job, but she could have found time. If only Briana had wanted to see her. Tears stung her eyes. At least in the end, she’d been with Bri. And now that Matt Landers had denied paternity she was going to be Erin’s family.
She walked to the crib and gazed at the beautiful baby. She already looked like Briana. The shape of her face and her large eyes were Bri’s, although their color was dark brown, like her father’s. The wisps of hair that covered her small head were blond. Again like her father. A father who wasn’t going to be around.
“I wanted so much for you, sweetie,” she whispered, emotion lacing her voice. “But it looks like it’s just you and me, Erin Marie. I promise I won’t let you