“Why on earth would we do otherwise?” she snapped, annoyed that he made her uneasy. He was too masculine, too appealing. “We don’t have much to chitchat about.”
“We’re neighbors, Mattie. We should get to be friends.”
“I think it’s three generations too late for that,” she said, still flustered by him and annoyed with herself. What was it about Josh Brand that made her come unglued? With other men she could stay cool and collected. Embarrassed, she realized how unfriendly her statement sounded and added, “Well, I guess we could try to be friends.” Knowing men had no interest in striking up a friendship with her, she tilted her head to look at him. “But I don’t think that’s why you called me.”
“No, it’s not,” he admitted, still studying her as if she was a prime bit of horseflesh that he was considering purchasing. He placed one booted foot on his knee. He looked relaxed as if this were his office and she was the visitor. “My wife was killed four months ago in a car wreck,” he announced gruffly.
“I remember hearing that, and I’m sorry,” she said, shocked to see the pain in his eyes. She knew how much the loss of a loved one hurt, but Josh Brand had always seemed invincible. She was startled that he was still so obviously suffering from his loss. “At least you have your baby.”
He nodded and glanced at the sleeping child. “I want to keep Elizabeth,” he said, and his voice became more gravelly. His dark gaze returned to Mattie. “That’s why I’m here.” As he stared at her, she had a premonition of disaster. She couldn’t imagine why or what his loss had to do with her. Maybe he wanted to sell his place to her. The thought startled her, and her mind raced. With a sinking feeling, she knew she could never buy it. She was strapped for money as it was, and worried about how she was going to keep the Rocking R going. Josh Brand had a marvelous ranch In her mind she pictured the rolling fields and the cattle she knew he owned.
“Mattie, I’ve tried to hire nannies and I can’t find one who is remotely satisfactory.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, puzzled. The man had lost his mind if he had come to hire her as a nanny.
Josh stared at the woman across the desk. Reluctance held his tongue. He knew once the words were out of his mouth, he couldn’t take them back. He clenched and unclenched his fists and looked again at Elizabeth who was blissfully sleeping, unaware of the turmoil and anguish of her father.
His gaze swung back to Mattie. Big green eyes stared at him, and the fleeting thought crossed his mind that the woman’s face was pretty. He inhaled, realizing the train of thought and knowing that it didn’t matter whether she looked like Attila or Cleopatra. Her looks were beside the point.
“How do you feel about children?” he blurted, wondering when he had lost all finesse.
She blinked, looking startled, then glanced at Elizabeth. “They’re nice,” she replied cautiously, sounding curious and staring at him intently.
“Yeah. Mattie, I can’t find a nanny, and I’ve come to make a proposition to you.”
“Oh, if you think I would hire out as a nanny—oh, no! I couldn’t ever—”
He held up a hand and shook his head. “Of course not.”
Startled, she bit her lip and stared at him. “If you’re not suggesting I be a nanny, what are you suggesting?” she asked, her curiosity running rampant because he looked as if he was going to faint. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he was ashen in spite of his dark skin. She had seen Josh Brand in fights when he was young and she had seen him bronc riding in rodeos. He was as tough as her father, yet he looked as if he was coming apart right before her eyes. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” When his compelling dark eyes met hers, she felt threatened, as if whatever this man wanted from her, she was going to have the fight of her life to keep from giving in to him.
“How are your sisters?”
“They’re fine,” Mattie answered, becoming more puzzled.
“I understand Carlina is married and lives in Denver and won’t come back home.”
“That’s right. Neither she nor Andrea will ever come back here to live,” she said. “Pardon me for asking but aren’t we drifting from why you’re here?”
“Not exactly.” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, his feet squarely on the floor. “Our ranches adjoin. As I understand it, your sisters won’t be returning to live here and don’t want the ranch. You don’t have any heirs, no husband.”
“I’m not selling,” she announced frostily, drawing herself up, feeling icy inside. “My sisters have said I can deal with the ranch as I see fit. I can manage their shares. I run this ranch, and it’s not on the market. Not now, not tomorrow, not because I’ve lost my dad.”
“I’m not buying.”
She opened her mouth to continue, realized what he’d said and snapped her mouth closed. More confused than ever, she stared at him. He gripped the arms of the chair and his knuckles were white. “Then what do you want?” she asked.
“I want you to marry me.”
Two
Stunned, Mattie stared at him, unable to speak. When she realized her mouth had dropped open, she closed it. “That’s absolutely absurd!”
“Hear me out,” he commanded in a tone of voice that made her close her mouth again.
Josh stared at her while his heart drummed. He was in deep now. He glanced at Elizabeth for reassurance and then returned his attention to Mattie, who was staring at him with wide-eyed alarm. If he had drawn a gun on her, he suspected she would have coolly tried to wrestle him to the ground for it, but his proposal must have frightened her as much as it did him. Somehow it reassured him to know that.
“I need a woman in the house. I don’t want a wife in the fullest sense. I need a mother for Elizabeth, someone who is intelligent and strong and kind” Mattie’s face flushed, and she blinked, and he wondered if she was startled that he thought she possessed those qualities.
“You don’t know anything about me,” she whispered.
“I’ve known about you all my life, the same as you know me. And I’ve asked around.”
Pinpoints of fire flared in the depths of her eyes, and he spoke quickly before she could complain about his inquiring into her background.
“We could operate our ranches together. You’d be in charge of hiring a nanny for Elizabeth and seeing to Li’l Bit’s upbringing. In return, you’d have my help, and you’d become part owner of my ranch. I’m willing to give you a share of my land in exchange.”
Shocked speechless, she stared at him in silence, too stunned to think of a reply. Disconcerted, she ran her hand across her forehead. “That is absolutely preposterous! Just go hire a nanny and a cook.”
“I have, and it didn’t work out.”
“Well, try again,” she snapped impatiently. “You hire men to work for you. A nanny is the same sort of thing. Why didn’t the nannies work out?”
His face flushed, and his gaze slid away. “So far, I can’t find anyone grandmotherly, and the others—well, hellfire.” His dark eyes met hers. “I’m not so damned appealing, but so far, the only ones I’ve hired want a permanent relationship.”
“For heaven’s sake, marry one of them!”
“They want the real thing,” he said stonily. “They want more than I can give. I’m not going to love another woman.” His voice became gravelly, and she could see the pain in his eyes as he battled his emotions. “I don’t want to marry for love. I don’t ever want that heartache again.”
“I’m