Anguish gripped her in its powerful fist, but she fought for control. Always control. “You don’t understand. I’ve had to walk alone too long. Too far.”
“I’m sorry that your former husband hurt you. You never should have had to experience his betrayal. He failed you when you needed him. But God never did. And He never will.”
The subject died a quick death then. She didn’t want to reveal all of the humiliating details. Although she could hardly argue with his logic about God, she wasn’t ready to inhale his words like the scent of lilacs, either. It was easier to let it drop.
The silence between them disturbing her, she returned to the earlier—safer—subject. “I really did have fun last night. Tessa did, too.”
Andrew grinned, seeming to put behind him the intensity of the moment before. “She’s great, you know.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So are you…especially with the youth group.”
Her laugh started somewhere deep inside and bubbled out. She had to give him credit for trying. Besides, she had enjoyed working with the teens at the overnighter. Teaching Sunday School would be fun. Tessa would be in her Tiny Tots class, so it wasn’t like Serena would be deserting her. Being needed wasn’t so bad, either.
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
Andrew was out of his seat and in front of her before the fourth word left her mouth. He knelt and gripped both of her hands together between his. “Thank you. Thank you. You won’t regret it.”
But with the way her hands tingled, as if they were awakening from a numbing sleep, she had to wonder. She suspected that working with Andrew was going to be the best—or the worst—decision she’d ever made.
Chapter Four
Reverend Bob turned to another passage in his huge black Bible on Sunday morning, the flutter of pages amplified by the microphone.
“In the Book of John, did Jesus say to the woman at the well, ‘You are a sinner, so I cannot look at you’? Or ‘Because I am a Jew and you are a Samaritan, I cannot speak to you’?”
Murmurs of “no” popped up in the packed sanctuary.
“Not my Jesus,” he said with a firm shake of his head. “Not my Lord who loves all us sinners. Instead He told her about His ‘living water.’ Shouldn’t we aspire to our Lord’s type of compassion? Let us all love our neighbors without falling to the temptation to judge.”
Reverend Bob shut his Bible with a snap, startling Andrew in his seat just behind the minister’s left shoulder. He hoped no one noticed how far his thoughts had been from the Samaritan woman and how close they were to the lady frowning in the back pew.
Serena obviously had been trying all through the service to keep her daughter quiet. Tessa couldn’t have been that loud, or he would have heard her. But how could he have heard anything over the crinkling of candy wrappers, seventh-grade giggles, and what could only have been a snore elsewhere in the sanctuary?
Memories of his own childhood antics in church filtered through his mind—of crawling under pews, rustling hymnal pages and faking sneezes. And of spankings and more painful criticism after the services. Somehow, he felt certain Tessa’s reprimand would be a loving one.
Heat scaled his neck, so he glanced to the other side of the auditorium, away from Serena, who sat ready to entrance him again. He steadied himself as he rose for the invitation. He had to get out of this service and into some private prayer where he could find perspective.
That goal helped him through the closing hymn. Only his regular stint in the greeting line remained; then he’d be free for a few hours until the evening youth group meeting. He pressed through the crowd, but two women became a solid wall of delay.
He pasted on his best smile and called for a heavenly gift of patience. “Hello, Mrs. Sims.” He nodded to the elder before turning to the younger. “And Charity.”
Laura Sims shook her index finger at him, making a clucking noise. “Now, Andrew Westin, you know you don’t have to be so formal with me. You call me Laura, or at the very least, Sister Laura.”
He nodded. “Of course, Laura. Did you ladies enjoy the service today?” It was so much easier to address the two of them jointly rather than speaking to Charity individually and risk accidentally encouraging her interest in him. That was the last thing he wanted to do.
Matchmaker Laura always seemed to be pushing her near-spinster daughter in her search for a suitable son-in-law. No matchmaking would have been necessary if Charity had possessed a sweet personality to match her trim figure, golden hair and green eyes. Frustration filled him that he continued to be prospect number one—all because he had chosen a career in the ministry.
Charity stepped forward. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found the woman at the well story to be a difficult one. She was living in sin and everything. It would be so hard for me to…you know.”
Andrew met Charity’s gaze for the first time in the conversation, and the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her filled him. It was wrong, and he knew it. He should have been concerned with her spiritual growth, just as he was with Serena’s. But her judgmental attitude got under his skin.
“Reach out to her, you mean? Didn’t Christ set a great example of what we all should do?”
“That He did, Andrew. That He did.” Laura patted Andrew’s shoulder as if they were already related and she were relieving familial stress.
“I’d better get to the door. Reverend Bob is waiting for me.” He hurried up the aisle, but most of the members had already gone outside, all except Serena and Tessa. Serena looked as though she were a reluctant captive in her conversation with the minister. Tessa seemed to be having a great time clanging coat hangers.
“Hey, Tess.” He swung her up in his arms. “Were you having trouble sitting still in church?”
She shrugged, a mischievous look lighting her eyes. “I’m hungry.”
He lowered Tessa, squatting before her and trying to keep a straight face. “I’m sure it’s tough when you’re hungry like that. But I bet it would make your mommy happy if you’d try to sit still and be quiet during the service. God would be real happy, too.”
“Okay.”
Okay. It was as simple as that to a child. Why did everything become so complicated for adults? Serena looked over at him, appearing grateful.
The glass door opened and Hannah popped in to relieve Andrew of his tiny charge. The two girls, one quite a few heads taller than the other, darted off hand-in-hand.
He wished someone like Hannah had taken him under her wing when he was Tessa’s age. Things might have been different. With someone to smile at him, to express the tiniest bit of pride in him, instead of judgment and disappointment, he might not have tried so hard to prove the dire predictions correct. Maybe then…
“Isn’t that right, Brother Andrew?”
The sound of his name ripped Andrew’s thoughts back to the present, with only remnants of past pain coming along for the ride. “I’m sorry. What were you saying?”
“I was telling Mrs. Jacobs that we usually go to the Big Boy after church,” Reverend Bob said.
“Sure thing. I never miss it, especially the chance for an ice cream sundae.” Funny, he’d have given anything to miss it today. He needed to get his head together, to figure out why he felt this need to be near Serena.
“Mommy, can we have ice cream?” Tessa asked as she and Hannah skipped past on their way back out the front door.