She rolled her eyes, looking so much like the old teasing girl he used to know.
“No? Well, let’s see. Did you join up with a circus or get sent to prison?”
“No, no, and no.”
“Then what?” Unable to help himself, he stretched out his arm and cupped her shoulder. Her nearness made it impossible for him not to touch her. The ancient, baggy sweatshirt she wore all but hid her breasts. But Casey knew their softness, their plump weight. How they felt in his palms.
Oh, yeah, he remembered that too well.
Emma lifted her face and met his gaze. “There’s no reason to rehash old news.”
“It’s not old for me.” He recalled the many nights he’d lain awake worrying about her, imagining every awful scenario that could happen to a girl all alone. It had made him sick with fear—and blind with rage. “I offered you help, Emma, and rather than take it you left me a goddamn note that didn’t tell me a thing. You ran out on me. You stole money from me.” You ripped out my heart.
She bit her lip, her face awash in guilt. “I’m sorry.”
Damn it, he didn’t want her apology. He thought to take back the words, but instead he drew a deep breath and continued, hoping to cajole her, reassure her. “I worried about you, Emma, especially when I found out you didn’t have a relative in Ohio. I worried and I thought about you and wished like hell I’d done something different. I screwed up that night, and I know it.”
Her eyes were wide and dark, filled with incredulity. “But…that’s nonsense.”
“I don’t think so. You came to me, and I let you down.”
“No.” She leaned forward and her cool fingers caressed his jaw. His muscles clenched with her first tentative touch. “Don’t ever think that, Casey. You did more than enough. You helped me more than anyone else ever could have.”
“Right.”
“Casey…” She hesitated, then she whispered, “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You always made me happy, even after I’d gone away.”
Robbed of breath by her words, Casey closed his hand over hers and kept her palm flat against his jaw. It was such a simple touch, and it meant so much to him. “But I don’t deserve an accounting? Or do I have to go on wondering what happened to you?”
She tugged her hand free and let it drop to the gearshift. Their gazes were locked together, neither of them able or willing to look away. The dog laid his head on the back of the seat between them, watching closely. He gave a whine of curiosity.
B.B. probably felt Emma’s distress, Casey thought, because he sure as hell felt it. He regretted that he’d upset her, but he needed to know where she’d gone and how she’d gotten by. He had to know.
“All right.” Her whispered words barely reached him, then she cleared her throat and spoke with new strength. “But it’s a boring story.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
With a sigh, she dropped back into her seat and folded her hands in her lap. Her hair fell forward to hide her face. Casey wanted to smooth it back so he could better see her, but he didn’t want to take a chance on interrupting her confession.
“For the first two weeks I lived in a park. There were plenty of woods so it was easy to hide when they shut the gates. There were outdoor rest rooms and stuff there, places for me to clean up and get a drink and…” She rolled her shoulders. “I had everything I needed. In a way, it was fun, like an adventure.”
“Jesus, Em. You don’t mean…”
“Yeah.” She dredged up a smile that didn’t do a damn thing to convince him. “I slept on the ground, using my backpack for a pillow. You know, it reminded me of all those nights we used to stay out late on the lake. You remember how we could hear the leaves and see all the stars and the air was so cool and crisp? We’d get mosquito bites, but it was worth it. Well, it was like that. A little scary at times, but also sort of soothing and peaceful. It’d be so quiet I’d stare up at the sky and think about everyone back in Buckhorn.” Her gaze darted away, and she added on a whisper, “I’d think about you.”
Pained, his heart aching, Casey closed his eyes. Emma didn’t know how her words devastated him, because she wasn’t looking at him.
“That’s where I found B.B. He was still a puppy, a warm, energetic ball of fur, and when we saw each other, he was so…happy to be with me.” She laced her fingers together, waited. “Someone had abandoned him.”
Just as her father had abandoned her?
“I picked ticks off him and used my comb to get snarls out of his fur and he played with me and kept me company.”
This time her smile was genuine, a small, sweet smile, as she talked about the dog. Casey wanted to crowd her close and put his arms around her and protect her forever. The urge was so strong, he sounded gruff as he asked, “Why did you stay in a park, Emma?”
“There was nowhere else to stay. I used the money I had—and your money—to pay for my bus fare to Chicago, and for food. After I got there, I couldn’t get a job because I couldn’t give a place of residence, and I couldn’t get a place of residence without a job reference. I was afraid if I went to any of the shelters, they’d contact my family and…send me back home.”
Casey scrubbed at his face. Emma was twenty-five now, but he saw her as she’d been when she left—young, bruised, scared and lonely. What she’d gone through was worse than he’d suspected, worse than he’d ever imagined. He’d held on to the belief that she knew someone, that she’d had someone to take care of her. But she’d been all alone. Vulnerable. And it hurt to know that.
“I’m not sure what would have eventually happened. But then one day B.B. got really sick. He’d eaten something bad and he was dehydrated, weak. He could barely walk. I was so afraid that I’d lose him, I chanced going to the vet clinic that I’d seen not far from the park. That’s where I met Parker Devaughn and his son, Damon.”
She turned to B.B. and hugged him close. Several seconds passed, and Casey knew she was weighing her words. “It took almost a week before B.B. was healthy again. I hung out there, staying by his side as much as they’d let me.”
The images flooding his mind were too agonizing to bear. “What happened?”
“They…figured out my situation when I couldn’t pay the bill and offered to let me work it off instead.”
“They realized that you were homeless?” Casey wanted to hear all the details about where she’d slept, how she’d stayed safe. When the dog was sick, she’d been alone more than ever.
But one thought kept overriding all others. How bad had it been for her in Buckhorn that she’d rather sleep alone in a park with no one for company except an abandoned dog? What the hell had happened to make her run away?
Emma gave a small nod. “I couldn’t leave B.B. and they wouldn’t let me have him without explaining. I was afraid they’d turn me in and send me back home. But when I told them everything, they surprised me.”
“Everything?”
She glanced at him, then away. Skipping his question, she said, “They took me in and they’ve treated me like family ever since. Parker even helped me to get my G.E.D. and to find a job I love. Life now is…great.”
She’d left out everything painful, either to spare him or because she couldn’t bear to talk about it. Casey didn’t know which, and neither was acceptable. He suddenly wanted her to be his friend again, that young girl with the enormous soft eyes always filled with invitation. The girl who always came to him with open admiration and her heart on her sleeve. The girl who’d wanted him—and only him.