‘What the devil is going on now?’ Luc demanded furiously.
‘Nothing!’ she mumbled. But that was untrue. There was a battle raging between her brain and her hormones. ‘Am I forbidden to breathe in and out now?’
‘If that was breathing, your lungs need attention,’ he said scathingly. ‘Get rid of the boyfriend! Tell him to stop playing around! I refuse to talk to you while he whispers sweet nothings—and does God knows what—!’
‘Are you mad?’ she broke in, astounded by his vehemence. ‘Why are you making such an issue of this? You don’t own me body and soul any more! I might have been making mad, passionate love on the kitchen table; you might have interrupted me with my lover,’ she rampaged on, deciding to let Luc stew. ‘But what’s that to you? It’s not any of your business what I get up to!’
‘Unfortunately it is!’ he insisted. ‘Your morals are very much my business. I have to protect my daughter.’
‘From what?’
‘You! And your lovers. I won’t have Gemma mixing with people of dubious character. I don’t want her watching one man after another pawing you—!’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, give me some credit!’ she snorted. ‘What do you think I do when she comes to stay?’ she asked indignantly. ‘Take her out for a lesson in needle techniques with a bunch of drug addicts? Read the kiddies’ Bedtime Kama Sutra? Bed three men a night?’ she suggested, so angry that her imagination was overheating.
‘How the devil would I know?’ he flung back. ‘You always wanted freedom from responsibility. And you had one hell of a sex drive—’
‘God, Luc!’ she fumed, her disgust growing with every word he uttered. This wasn’t funny any more. He’d woken her desire. She’d responded only to him. How could he not realise that? She wanted to punch him on the nose for being so dense. ‘You’ve built up a nasty little picture of me in your head, haven’t you? You really think I’m stupid, selfish and irresponsible—’
‘You said it. And, remember, you proved it.’ He let the accusation lie there in a heavy silence which it was beneath her pride to break. She heard him give a heavy sigh of defeat. ‘Now what?’ he muttered, as if to himself. ‘I clearly can’t trust you.’
She felt a small pang, knowing that it must be hard for him to surrender Gemma to someone he thought was utterly irresponsible.
‘I understand why you worry,’ she said, with marginally more sympathy. ‘I see why you were quizzing me. But I assure you that she’s perfectly safe with me—’
‘I would like to believe that. But… Oh, forget it. This is pointless—’
‘No, it’s not!’ she cried quickly, scared that he’d cut her access time. She could have kicked herself for not telling him about Cyril straight away. But it was too late now. He’d never accept her explanation. ‘You must know that I’d never do anything to upset or hurt her,’ she said fervently.
‘Is that so?’ he bit. ‘What do you call abandoning her, then? Why ignore her needs—and why did you run away the minute motherhood didn’t turn out to be all coochiecoos and dimpled cheeks?’
She couldn’t speak. He’d struck her dumb with his cruelty.
‘You can’t answer, can you?’ he said bitterly. ‘God, I was a fool to imagine you’d change. I should have realised that you’d still be going your own sweet way and indulging your selfish needs with an over-active love life—’
Ellen interrupted him with a groan. She lifted her eyes to the ceiling in exasperation. What love life?
‘Tell me about it!’ she said wryly.
‘I only know what I heard your lover say. It seems you’re not even faithful to him,’ Luc said coldly. ‘Poor fool seemed to think I was another of your boyfriends. Is it any wonder that I despair of your morals? Do you know what it does to me, to imagine—’ He broke off. Then he continued with a blistering passion. ‘To imagine my daughter being exposed to the seamier side of life?’
Her teeth ground together hard. She seriously contemplated banging the phone down and ending this pointless conversation. He wasn’t to know that men might pester her, but she kept her distance because as sure as hell she wasn’t going to be hurt so badly again. Nor was she going to tell him. But she’d give as good as she got.
‘So it’s OK for you to take women-friends and Gemma skiing or lazing on beaches in the Caribbean,’ she said, sweetly poisonous, ‘but I have to live like a Carmelite nun?’
‘I should be so lucky.’ He grunted. ‘If you did, at least I’d know Gemma would be cared for and protected.’
‘She is cared for and protected when she’s here!’
‘Huh.’ He sounded utterly unconvinced. ‘What exactly did she tell you about our holidays?’ he asked warily.
Ellen winced. He obviously had things to hide. ‘Not a word. She never speaks about you. Or your home,’ she replied, feeling suddenly mournful. ‘I developed a roll of film for her when she was here in August.’
Seeing the holiday pictures had driven home some painful truths. Luc had no hang-ups about his shattered marriage. The photos had shown him with Gemma, laughing and fooling around and totally at ease with two gorgeous women. She made a face. Was there any other kind where Luc was concerned?
She’d pored over the snaps when Gemma had gone to bed. The intense happiness in her daughter’s face had made her cry. She knew she could never have that effect on her child. It had been a terrible moment, one she’d never forget.
And it was bad enough that she couldn’t afford to take her daughter anywhere exciting, let alone seeing her child being cuddled by a couple of Miss Worlds. One day, Miss World would become Miss Right.
And then Miss Right would gracefully take on the role of the second Mrs Luciano Maccari. Gemma would have a mother to tuck her up in bed and read stories… Hastily Ellen shut off that line of thought. It was an inevitable development but she wasn’t ready for it yet.
As for Luc—he was a hypocrite! He saw nothing wrong in letting women paw him in front of his daughter, she thought indignantly. One of them had been sitting on his lap, the other had flung her arms around his neck and was kissing him on the cheek while he grinned in smug delight.
Yet he was condemning her for entertaining nonexistent lovers! She steamed with the rank injustice of it. Justifiably aggrieved, hurting at the memory of those lovely women, she stood up for herself.
‘Let’s make a pact. You lead your own life,’ she told him tightly, ‘and I’ll do what I damn well like with mine!’
‘Not when my daughter’s around, you won’t!’ he countered.
‘She’s mine too!’
‘Barely!’ he shot back
Ellen sucked in a painful breath. He was determined to inflict wounds. The brute.
‘You hate not having control over everything that happens to her, don’t you? For heaven’s sake, Luc, don’t carp. She’s yours for most of the time. I only see her for one week, four times a year!’
‘Ye-e-e-s.’
There was a significance in his hesitation and she blanched, fearing what would follow from that ‘ye-e-e-s.’ Nervously she said, ‘Why did you ring?’
‘It doesn’t matter. I’ve changed my mind.’
Her jaw tightened ominously. He’d ruined her evening for nothing! ‘Right,’ she said tersely. ‘Fascinating chat. Goodbye,