“How blind I’ve been! Of course you can’t marry me, if you have been painting me in such colours! No wonder you are so furious! If this was a calculated move to make me look like a monster—of course a proposal of marriage is the last thing you want!”
A cold calm suffused Julia at his words. “So because I won’t marry you, you suddenly see a plot to blacken your reputation? Is it really impossible to believe that a woman could actually prefer life as a single mother to marriage with you? What an ego!”
“When there is so much good to be derived from the marriage—” he began.
“Rashid,” she said hoarsely, holding up a hand. “I am not going to marry you. I have had one loveless marriage already. Believe me, it was one too many.”
“Loveless?” He reached out to cup her shoulder with one strong palm, stopping her retreat. “Why should it be loveless? We already know, Julia, how well we suit each other physically.” His other hand gently tipped her chin up, then slipped around her back, drawing her irresistibly into his embrace.
Julia licked her lips. It was impossible to resist him when he touched her. Half of her longed to throw herself into his arms and accept the protection he offered.
But he was a Kamal. A member of the family that had blackened the proud Sebastiani name a century ago and was still raking over the coals of that ancient dispute.
Her eyes were suddenly burning. Julia twisted out of his embrace and stood facing him.
“It would be loveless,” she said, with a precision born out of her determination not to weaken, “because you do not love me. And I do not love you.”
Chapter 3
“Who the hell is this?” growled a deep male voice. Julia took a breath.
“Jack? This is Julia, Christina’s sister. Is she there?”
“Julia.” He cleared his throat. “Right. Hi. Hang on.”
She heard the click of a lamp, and a confused murmur, then Christina’s sleepy voice came on the line. “Tiss? What’s up?”
“Oh, God, Squidge, you were sleeping! I’m sorry! I completely forgot the time difference. Is it really late?”
“No, that’s okay,” her sister said softly. “Actually…it’s almost morning.”
Julia gave a half laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry! I’ll call back!”
“No, no, I’m awake now. Let me just…” Another murmur, followed by the noise of the receiver being set down on a hard surface, then her brother-in-law’s voice in the distance.
“Going somewhere?”
“I’ll talk in the other room so you can get back to sleep. Will you hang this up?”
“Yes. Where exactly are you taking the duvet?”
“To the other room. It’s a bit chilly.”
“Yes, it is. Bathrobe,” she heard in tones of firm masculine command. “The duvet stays with me.”
“My he-man! I thought you were immune to cold!” Christina’s voice teased.
“The duvet is my insurance,” he said. There was a smile in his voice. “You might forget where you were if you didn’t have a warm bed to come back to.”
“Oh, for sure!” There was a giggle from Christina that reminded Julia of those long-ago, carefree days of childhood. It was full of mischief and fun that was very unlike the cool Dr. Sebastiani Christina had become, and she thought, They really are in love.
Suddenly she felt like crying. Why couldn’t it happen like that for me? Why is it I only get proposed to for political convenience?
“Are you still there, Tiss?”
There was the sound of the other receiver being gently replaced. Julia swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“What is it? Is everything all right?”
Where to begin?
“We heard about your engagement on the news. Congratulations.” There was just a hint of hurt in her sister’s voice. “It was a bit unexpected. First they were hinting that Rashid would deny pat—”
“Squidge, it was a surprise to me, too. The first I heard I was marrying him was when I read it in the Messenger.”
There was an sharp intake of breath, and she had the satisfaction of knowing she’d shocked Christina. “Excuse me?”
“He didn’t bother to propose to me. He was so sure I’d be grateful for his offer he—”
“Grateful!” Christina yelped. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Thank you for that. I’ve been wondering if I’m the crazy one and should be panting with gratitude for being offered another chance at the married state.”
“Is that his attitude? I thought at least that he loved you. I wasn’t sure about your feelings, but—”
“He does not love me,” Julia said ruthlessly.
“Then why would he want to marry you?”
“For the same reason he cooperated with NATO to get those terrorists. Because he wants to signal that Tamir’s ready for an alliance with the West. He wants peace between us and Tamir. All those good things. And all we have to do is sacrifice our personal happiness for the good of our countries.”
“My God.” A long silence. “I’m sorry, Julia. The newscaster said…I confess I was really hoping that you did love him. It would be so nice to think of you being happy at last.”
“No, it’s the same old question here. Do I marry for the sake of the kingdom?”
“That’s awful. What does Papa say about it?”
“They’re still away, thank God. After an initial apoplectic attack, Papa backed off. I think he just can’t cope. You know how old-fashioned he is, he hates to think of a baby being born outside of marriage. On the other hand…”
Christina gave a breathless little laugh. “On the other hand, when the father’s a Kamal… Oh, Tiss, what a mess. What are you going to do?”
Suddenly the tears were threatening again. “That’s what I called to ask you. What am I going to do? Got any ideas?”
A humming silence. Then, “It’s not like they teach this sort of thing in grad school, Tiss. Of course it would be better if you could be married, but not… Are you sure Rashid doesn’t love you? Not even just enough to build on?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He told me himself he wanted the marriage for political purposes. Apparently he’s had this dream of ending the feud through a marriage for years. He even imagined I might have deliberately got pregnant because I had the same goal, can you believe it?”
“No,” Christina said. “I can’t believe anyone would think you’re that calculating. But Julia, how did it happen?”
“I guess for a critical moment I went out of my mind. It’s not based on anything real.”
“But you did—Tiss, forgive me if I’m missing something here, but there must be something between you.”
“Squidge,” Julia began a bit desperately, “it happened the night they announced they were calling off the search for Lucas. It was—I mean, my feelings were just so close to the surface…. I’m sure you must have felt the same.”
A long, sorrowing silence fell between the sisters. “Has there been any news at all?” Christina asked quietly.
“Nothing. And Papa still