Parker gritted his teeth. “What part of you could be dying right now do you not understand?”
“I understand it just fine. I’m just not letting it chase me off.”
Her words might be defiant, but she paled as she said them, and the pallor brought out the dark smudge of a bruise high on her cheek.
Instead of marring her classic beauty, the injury only enhanced it, reminding Parker that she might be tough enough to stand up to him in the hospital, but she was no physical match for a madman determined to do her harm.
Knowing it, he stood up and leaned over her, bracing his hands on the arms of her chair and crowding her with his body until she leaned back to avoid him. “You’re too smart to be this stupid, Mandy. You saw Irene Dulbecco. Do you really want to end up just like her?”
In the wake of his shout, angry silence vibrated in the room.
Stankowski finally stepped in. “Okay, that’s enough. Parker, sit down and stop being a jerk. And you—” he turned to Mandy “—don’t try to be a hero. Parker and I have this under control, and we’ll have a better chance of finding this guy if he’s not worrying about your safety.”
She snorted, but didn’t contradict him, instead saying, “I know it’s probably no use telling you guys not to worry about me, given the circumstances. But you’re not considering the other option.”
“There is no other option,” Parker said flatly.
“Of course there is,” Mandy countered. “In fact I see two.” She ticked them off on her fingers. “One, you let me help you. I assume you’ve tested the bodies for the most common pain-inducing toxins?”
Parker nodded reluctantly. “Yes, we have. That doesn’t mean we’re looking for an herb, though.”
“Aha!” She stabbed a finger at him. “That means you’ve thought it might be a botanical, or you wouldn’t even mention the possibility. Since I know far more than you do about traditional medicine, I can help, and I’m darned well volunteering whether you like it or not. It’s my job to heal my patients, and if possible prevent them from becoming patients in the first place.”
Parker wanted to argue the point but couldn’t, because that was pretty much what he’d told himself when he’d first started taking time away from his duties at BoGen in order to help Stankowski. That, and it had appealed to his sense of duty. He’d never wanted to be a cop like his mother had been, but somehow he’d wound up in that world accidentally, and had found he liked it. It had filled a void, offering a challenge he hadn’t known he was looking for until it had appeared.
But that was him, not Mandy. She didn’t belong in this world any more than he belonged in hers.
“You said there were two options,” Stankowski said cautiously. “What’s the second?”
“It’s simple,” she said, though Parker noticed that she’d knotted her fingers tightly together in her lap. “You said it yourself, I’m unfinished business. I’ve seen the killer’s face, at least some of it, and he has my purse and keys. You want to catch him, and there’s a pretty good bet he’ll come for me sooner or later. Why not use me—and my apartment—as bait?”
Mandy braced herself for Radcliff to erupt. Instead the very air around him seemed to drop a few degrees in temperature. He gritted his teeth and growled. “Not. An. Option.”
Under any other circumstance, with any other man, she would’ve snapped at the dictatorial tone. As it was, she found herself hesitating.
The Radcliff she remembered hadn’t possessed such chill control. He’d been loud and domineering, but she’d quickly learned that a big chunk of it was a shield, that beneath the prickles and bluster was a man of fiery temper and a rare but wonderful humor. At the time, he’d said that wasn’t the real Parker Radcliff, that she’d brought out something in him that he couldn’t explain. Before things between them had fallen apart, she’d tried to help him believe that the other, warmer man was the real him.
Now, she realized she’d been the one living in a delusion, or maybe he’d made his belief into a reality, because there was no warmth in the man looking at her now. There was no fire, practically no life in his cold, dark eyes.
A huge shiver crawled up the back of her neck, but she kept her voice even. “I’m not leaving. I think you know I can be as stubborn as you. You can either accept my help, or…” She trailed off, then said simply, “Please let me help. I want to do this. I need to do this. I know how it feels not to have answers.”
Though there had been plenty of evidence in her mother’s death, the LAPD had been unable to make an arrest. Eventually they—and her father—had just let it go.
Mandy, however, still saw her mother’s body in her dreams.
Stankowski held up a hand. “Okay, let’s take a time-out here.” He glanced at his watch and grimaced. “It’s nearly midnight and I came on shift early this morning… The crime scene techs will let me know if they get anything from the alley. We’re still waiting on some of the tests from Dulbecco’s body, but so far the info from her hasn’t added anything we didn’t already know.” He exhaled a frustrated breath. “I’m tired, and I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere tonight. I vote we call it a night and sleep on things, then reconvene in the morning and make some decisions about Dr. Sparks.”
“Call me Mandy, please, and that sounds like a plan to me.” Relieved by the prospect of rest, but more determined than ever to be part of the investigation, she said, “I’d like to take a look at the other victims’ medical files tonight, if that’s okay. Maybe I’ll see something that you guys missed.” If she could prove her worth, she thought, maybe Stankowski would overrule Radcliff’s objections to her involvement.
Why are you so determined to put yourself in the middle of this? her insidious voice of reason asked.
Mandy gritted her teeth and told herself that Irene’s husband and kids deserved to know what happened. More importantly, she couldn’t just let other people die if there was some way she could help prevent it—she knew how it felt when a family member was murdered. But those answers rang vaguely false because she knew there was a good chance she’d be endangering her own life in the process, making her wonder exactly why she wasn’t already halfway to Logan Airport.
She glanced at Radcliff’s set profile, and a hard knot gathered in her stomach at the suspicion that she wasn’t doing this despite him, but rather because of him. Because she felt excited and completely, totally alive for the first time in the four years since she’d left Boston.
“What do you think?” Stankowski asked Radcliff now, seeming immune to his steely-eyed glare. Apparently taking the lack of response as an affirmative, he nodded. “Fine. Mandy can take the charts with her, and we’ll meet back here at nine tomorrow to see if she’s come up with something we missed.”
Mandy exhaled a breath of relief mixed with nerves, and started to rise. Then she hesitated. “Oh, heck. Where am I supposed to stay tonight?” She turned to Stankowski. “Can you have some men watch my apartment?”
“Don’t even think of it,” Radcliff growled.
“I already have two men on your place,” the detective said, ignoring him, “but I don’t want you going home, at least not until we have a real plan.” He glanced at Radcliff, and a glint entered his tired eyes when he said, “I’ve got a spare room. You’re welcome to bunk with me for tonight.”
“No.” Radcliff stood. “She’s coming home with me. End of discussion.”