Anne took the book. ‘Persuasion, by Miss Jane Austen.’ She turned the pages cautiously then looked up with a tremulous smile. ‘What a relief! I can read! I was afraid for a moment that I might have forgotten that, too.’
The uncertain smile undermined him. Forgetting his sensible resolutions, he drew her up and put his arms round her. After a moment, she said in a muffled voice, ‘You must think me such a coward.’
‘I think nothing of the sort,’ he said. He held her for a moment or two, his cheek against hers, then he put her carefully back into her chair, and moved away to look into the fire. He said, ‘All the same, I shouldn’t be here at this time of night, holding you like that…The rest of the world would never believe it was innocent. I’m supposed to be protecting you. Mrs Culver is right. I must find somewhere else where you can be kept safe until you remember who you are.’
Anne considered him gravely. ‘Am I not safe with you?’ she asked.
‘Of course you are!’ he said forcefully. ‘That isn’t what I meant.’
There was a short silence. Then she said hesitantly, ‘Are you afraid your fiancée might not understand the situation? Do you want me to go because she might be hurt or angry if she heard I was staying here with you?’
He turned round again in surprise. ‘My what?’
‘Mrs Culver told me you are to marry soon. Someone in London.’
‘The devil she did! I wonder who the lucky girl is. Did she tell you that?’
‘She mentioned a Lady Barbara?’ said Anne hesitantly.
‘Lady Barbara? Did she indeed?’ He took a breath and went on grimly, ‘Mrs Culver is mistaken.’
Anne looked at the frown on his face and said quietly, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘I’m glad you did. I am not engaged. I never have been engaged, and if it were left to me I never would be engaged. This is my grandmother’s doing! She and Cully are desperate to see me married off and producing heirs for Roade House, but I have no intention of letting my grandmother or anyone else dictate when and whom I should marry. No, it is for your own sake that you should go, not for the benefit of an entirely mythical fiancée.’
Anne got out of her chair and put her hand on his arm. ‘Then let me stay here,’ she said. ‘You’re the only one I trust at present.’ She hesitated and then went on, ‘I shall have to leave sometime soon, I know, but the thought of going out into the world before I’m used to the idea terrifies me.’
‘What do you mean—have to leave? Who would make you?’
‘I can’t stay here for ever. I’m sure Mrs Culver would like to see the back of me as soon as possible. And if my memory never returns I shall have to find some other place, where I can earn a living without it. But…I know I’m a coward, but please don’t send me away yet.’
James saw how pale and weary she looked. ‘If your memory doesn’t return, Anne,’ he said gently, ‘I’ll make sure you’re not left alone to find your way. Do you believe me?’
She nodded and he went on, ‘But now I think you’ve had enough for today—let me call Rose or someone to see you to bed.’
Before she sat down, she hesitated and said, ‘Will I…will I see you tomorrow?’
James shook his head. ‘Not tomorrow.’ She looked disappointed and he explained, ‘I must spend the day at Roade, but I’ll see you the day after. We could go for a walk in the garden if you are strong enough. Meanwhile, promise me you’ll stay in this room while I am away. Walk a little, read your book—and try not to worry.’ He went to the door and turned to bid her goodnight, but when he saw the droop to her head he found himself saying, ‘I’ll see if I can call on you tomorrow before I go out. Goodnight, Anne. Sleep well.’
Chapter Four
Rose was slow in coming, and Anne sat gazing into the fire for some time after James had gone. Her fears were briefly forgotten as she allowed herself to dream. So Mrs Culver had been wrong—James was not about to marry anyone, not engaged, and, from what he had said, didn’t have anyone in mind either…
And after Rose had come and gone she lay awake, inventing a fairy tale to keep her fears about the future at bay. She would recover her memory, and turn out to be an entirely suitable bride for an Aldhurst—the daughter of an earl perhaps, or even a duke. They would fall in love, marry and live happily ever after at Hatherton. What would it be like to sleep with the man you loved, to have his arms around you, holding you, caressing you…? Her last thought before she finally fell asleep was that, though Lord Aldhurst was most unlikely to fall in love with her, she was more than halfway to falling in love with him already.
But Anne paid dearly for indulging in these romantic fantasies, with a series of nightmares. She was faced with a dark red door that she knew was familiar, but she struggled in vain to reach its knocker…Then, in the way of dreams, the door changed into a spreading pool of dark red blood, and, terrified, she fought to save the man lying at its centre, her heart racing and gasping for breath, struggling against the cruel hands that were dragging her away…Suddenly the hands holding her were James Aldhurst’s hands, and she sobbed with relief as she looked again from the protection of his arms and saw that both the pool of blood and the body at its centre had disappeared. She turned thankfully back to him, but when she looked up, his face was cold and distant and he pushed her away, and gradually disappeared into the distance, deaf to her cries.
She woke up at last unrefreshed and lay for a while with traces of tears on her face, her mind full of the images in her dreams. They frightened and confused her—was there a clue to her identity in them? She puzzled over them for some time, but the images meant nothing to her. Her life before she had been found on the drive was still shrouded in grey fog.
And in the cold light of morning her romantic fantasy of the night before seemed more like the delusions of a lunatic. The end of the dream had been telling her as much. Lord Aldhurst would keep her safe until she knew what she was to do, but he could never consider her suitable to be his wife. Although Mrs Culver might have tried to deceive her about his marital plans, her warning was clear enough. He was the last of an ancient and distinguished family and the world would expect him to find a bride of equal rank. Wealthy, handsome, well born, with a duty to his family—why on earth should an Aldhurst ever look at penniless Miss Nobody of Nowhere, who was not even very beautiful?
For a moment she felt very sorry for herself, but was soon ashamed of indulging in so much self-pity. It was time Miss Nobody stopped being so poor-spirited, pulled herself together and started to take charge of her life instead of leaving it to others! She also had things to do!
When Mrs Culver came in an hour later she was astonished to see Anne walking round the room with grim determination.
‘Whatever are you doing?’ she exclaimed. ‘You shouldn’t be up for another hour at least. You’ll wear yourself out. Sit down and rest. Rose will fetch your breakfast.’
Anne sat down gratefully in a chair and said, ‘I’m not really ill any longer. My legs are weak, that’s all, and they won’t get any stronger if I don’t use them. It’s time I had some exercise. I don’t intend to be a burden to you all any longer than I have to.’
Mrs Culver gave a satisfied nod. ‘I’m sure I’m glad to hear you say that. And if you wish you can put on your own clothes again. I have them here. We’ve washed and pressed them for you, so they are perfectly clean.’
‘Thank you. But I’m afraid I am not. Before I dress I should like