‘Not to get her away from Julian?’ she challenged him.
His eyelids flickered. ‘How did you guess?’
‘You admit it?’ She was dismayed to have her suspicion so readily confirmed. If he was going to be deliberately unhelpful...
‘She was showing signs of terminal boredom. I didn’t think you’d want her yawning in his face.’
“They were talking about horses! Which, thanks to you, she’s crazy about at the moment.’
‘Julian was talking, blinding the poor kid with science. She was way out of her depth.’ He made a small grimace and shrugged. ‘I guess he’s not used to dealing with a ten-year-old any more.’
Lacey supposed that was so. He had certainly had difficulty hitting the right note with Emma over the dinner table. ‘They need to get to know each other properly,’ she said hopefully. ‘Maybe Julian was trying a bit too hard tonight. He’s very anxious for her to like him.’
Tully shifted his shoulders against the sofa back and stretched out his legs, contemplating the toes of his shoes for a second or two before shooting a hard, dark glance her way. ‘Are you really in love with that guy?’
The faintly disbelieving note of near-contempt in his voice made her defensive. ‘Of course I love Julian. He’s a very nice person.’ She moved uneasily, trying to relax. Somehow it wasn’t his niceness that had shown up tonight. And in an obscure way she knew Tully was entirely responsible for that. ‘I don’t know what you were trying to do, but it won’t work, Tully.’
‘Trying to do?’ he asked innocently. ‘I thought I was being the almost perfect...guest.’
She noticed the hesitation. Technically he might be a guest, but his place in her daughter’s life made him more than that. Tonight he’d acted rather like a host trying his best to put a not-very-welcome guest at ease, and perhaps it was unfair of her to suspect any deliberation on his part. But she couldn’t help feeling that he had set out to demonstrate his familiarity with the house and its occupants, to make Julian feel like an outsider. He’d even acted with a subtle possessiveness towards Lacey herself.
As if he’d been following her thoughts, Tully asked, ‘Is where you’re going to live one of the things you and Julian haven’t discussed yet?’
‘We’re thinking about it. Julian’s house has three bedrooms, so the girls wouldn’t have to share a room. Or we could buy a new place.’
‘So what will you do with this?’
‘That’s up to you.’
‘It’s half yours.’
Lacey shook her head. ‘That was only a legal safeguard for Emma’s sake, in case something happened to you. You paid for it.’
He didn’t look pleased, but he apparently decided not to pursue the subject. Instead he stared broodingly at the dying fire, sipping at the whisky in his glass.
Lacey said quietly, ‘Things change. Emma will get used to new surroundings, new circumstances. So will you.’
He turned to look at her, his eyes sombre. ‘It won’t be the same... will it?’
‘No, it won’t be the same.’ She felt a twinge of sadness, a painful tug of regret, and deliberately hardened her heart. ‘But it needn’t affect your relationship with Emma.’
His mouth twisted in a strange sort of smile. ‘As a matter of fact, I wasn’t thinking of Emma. I was thinking of my relationship with you.’
‘With... me?’
‘We do have one, you know.’
‘Of course,’ she agreed. ‘As Emma’s parents...’
‘Is that the only way you see me? As Emma’s father?’
Lacey frowned uncertainly. What did he want her to say? Not for anything would she betray to him how difficult it had been to make herself think of him in that role alone, how long it had taken her to forsake foolish teenage dreams. If he wanted his ego stroked, there were plenty of other women who would do it for him—along with anything else he asked of them. ‘How else should I see you?’ she asked reasonably. ‘If it wasn’t for Emma we wouldn’t have a relationship at all.’
He looked at her with speculation, as if considering the question. ‘How can you be sure?’ With spurious humility, he added, ‘Hard to believe though it may be, most of the women I know don’t actually view me first and foremost as a father.’
She didn’t find it hard to believe at all. He had lost none of the male charisma he’d had at nineteen. If anything it had intensified with maturity, and in her case familiarity had not bred contempt, but rather a guarded awareness. Caught once in the trap of his careless sexuality, she had made up her mind a long time ago that she wasn’t going to walk into it again. ‘I’m sure they don’t,’ she said crisply. ‘Fortunately, I know you better than most women do.’
His head cocked to one side, he said, ‘I suppose you do.’ He paused. ‘Why “fortunately”?’
She’d hoped he wouldn’t pick up on that. ‘For one thing,’ she said hastily, ‘you don’t have to worry that I’ll try to drag you to the altar.’
His eyes were enigmatic, but very intent. ‘Until recently I thought you had a distinct aversion to the state of matrimony yourself.’
‘I never said that.’
‘Mm. I gather that the aversion was to me.’
‘Not to you personally. To the idea of marriage with you.’
‘There’s a difference?’
‘Of course there’s a difference. Marrying just to give Emma two parents would have been disastrous.’
‘I agree it probably would have been when we were both teenagers. Although...’ He shrugged. ‘Who knows? It might have worked out okay.’
Lacey shook her head. ‘We were too young.’
‘Too young to be parents? I guess so—objectively. But Emma’s okay.’
‘Yes. At least we got that right.’
‘You did. I’m well aware that I’m only a part-time father. And now...’ she was surprised at the fierce regret she saw in his face ‘...some one else may get the chance that I never had.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said awkwardly. ‘I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it.’
‘Didn’t you?’ His glance was almost hostile, before he got up and went to stand looking at the remains of the fire, his hand resting on the mantel above it. ‘No,’ he said. ‘How could you? I hardly knew myself.’ He turned to look at her searchingly. ‘You’re entitled to look for a bit of happiness. Heaven knows I’ve no right stop you. But are you sure it’s Julian you want?’
‘I’m old enough now to know exactly what I want,’ she said unequivocally, pushing away a small, nagging doubt. Of course she and Julian had a tacit understanding that much depended on their children’s reactions, but neither of them had expected any major problems to arise.
Why, just when Tully seemed to be capitulating completely to the idea, did she suddenly feel afraid, unsure of herself and of the future to which she’d virtually committed both herself and Emma? Saying it aloud in an unconscious effort to dispel the fear, she declared, ‘Julian and I love each other. I’ve told him I’ll marry him, and that’s what I intend to do.’
He looked at her silently, apparently weighing her answer.
Moving restlessly under his probing gaze, Lacey said, ‘So can I count on you letting Emma know that it’s all right with you?’
‘Don’t rush me,’