Not that she wanted him to see her like some fawning idiot, either, with no hope of having him return her love. That was the trouble with loving Dominic; she couldn't ever come out the winner.
Which was why she had to go.
Now, before the flippant façade she had constructed over what she had just done cracked a mile wide and left her emotionally broken …
‘Cathy——’
‘I have to go, Dominic,’ she told him lightly, doing her best to shut out that huskily persuasive voice; if Dominic chose to put his mind to it he could charm the birds out of the trees. He just didn't feel so inclined most of the time and, even when he did, impatience and temper usually took over.
‘The snow isn't going to hold off forever,’ she told him brightly, shaking back her hair as she picked up the box again in readiness for leaving. ‘I guess I'll have to forgo the usual leaving party,’ she added self-derisively; she had never envisaged leaving Dominic in quite these circumstances. She had never envisaged leaving him at all!
His expression darkened even more, almost black brows low over his eyes.
Cathy wished she hadn't looked at those eyes. They were incredibly beautiful eyes for a man, a deep emerald-green, surrounded by the thickest black lashes she had ever seen.
Oh, the dreams she had once had of one day holding a baby of her own in her arms with those eyes, Dominic's eyes …
She swayed slightly, her lids closed over the tears that had welled there. How foolish were her dreams!
‘Damn the leaving party.’ The rasp of Dominic's voice steadied her, and she met his gaze calmly. ‘You're too tired to drive all that way again today; you're almost asleep on your feet!’
If she was honest, she didn't relish the journey for a third time in as many days, but there was no way she was going to miss being with the family for the festive season for the first time in years.
Where had she and Dominic spent Christmas last year? Oh, yes, in a hotel in New York, going over contracts that were finalised as soon as Christmas Day had passed. And the year before that they had been at another hotel, that time in Munich. And the year before that … Oh, what was the use of dwelling in the past? This Christmas she intended being surrounded by the warmth of her family, by people giving and receiving gifts in love and friendship.
She quickly banished from her mind the image she suddenly had of Dominic completely alone at his apartment, with no one to give him even one present and show him love. That was the way he wanted it, the way it always was.
‘It's Christmas Eve,’ she said again brightly. ‘The thought of spending Christmas with the family will be enough to keep me awake and alert. Oh, I forgot to tell you——’ her eyes glowed with pleasure ‘—David is there, too.’
Dominic frowned. ‘You mean David Kendrick?’
‘Mm.’ She smiled confirmation. ‘You knew my sister is married to his brother?’
‘I believe you did tell me,’ Dominic nodded abruptly. ‘But I also thought he wasn't—into family occasions?’
‘Oh, all that's changed,’ Cathy laughed happily at the thought of how loving Jade had changed David's life. ‘It promises to be a wonderful Christmas with all the family together again at last.’
Dominic thrust his hands into his trouser pockets, turning away to gaze out of the window at London's bleak skyline. ‘Then I'd better not keep you any longer.’
It should have been her turn to say, ‘Just like that?’ No matter what she had said in the last few minutes, she couldn't believe this was really goodbye. But she knew that it had to be, and the uncompromising set of Dominic's shoulders beneath the tailored jacket didn't encourage her to say the actual words to him.
She took one last lingering look at the room and the man before rushing out of the door.
How she managed to say goodbye to Mary and the other secretaries in the outer office she didn't know; her throat was aching with the effort of holding back the tears by the time she got outside the building, and she almost fell inside the taxi she hailed.
And then the tears fell like a waterfall.
The driver shot her a worried glance in his driving-mirror. ‘Christmas party?’
She would have laughed at the suggestion if she could have stopped feeling miserable long enough; the closest Dominic came to recognising Christmas was to let his staff leave an hour earlier than usual!
But she nodded anyway, because it was what the driver obviously expected to hear, and also because she was starting to cry again.
Thank God she had packed her case and done her few errands before going to the office this morning. Now she just wanted to get away, pausing only long enough to change into warm clothes for the journey ahead of her. The last thing she wanted was to be alone in her flat any longer than she had to be.
Which was why she muttered and mumbled to herself as the doorbell rang just as she was bending down to pick up her suitcase. It was probably the janitor calling for his Christmas tip!
She stared dazedly up at Dominic as he stood outside her door, no longer the suave executive in the formal suit, but looking just as devastatingly attractive in fitted black trousers and a thick Aran sweater worn beneath a black leather jacket.
Having resigned herself to the possibility of perhaps never seeing him again, Cathy could only stare at him in stunned surprise.
‘As you're so adamant about going down to Devon again today,’ he told her in measured tones, ‘I've decided to drive you.’
CATHY forgot about how devastated she had been such a short time ago at the thought of not seeing Dominic again, completely forgot her joy of a few moments ago when she had opened her door and found him standing there, too.
All she could think of at the moment was his damned typical arrogance!
She made no effort to open her apartment door wider or invite him to come in. ‘Isn't it usual to ask?’ she snapped tautly, controlling her anger with great difficulty.
Dominic shrugged dismissively. ‘I knew you never would.’
Her eyes widened incredulously. ‘I wasn't talking about me!’ she gasped.
His eyes narrowed, and he walked past her into the apartment with easy familiarity, despite Cathy's unwelcoming attitude. ‘Why would I need to ask to drive you down to Devon?’ he said with genuine amazement. ‘I'm the one doing you a favour.’
Cathy had followed him agitatedly into the elegantly furnished lounge. ‘You can take your favour and——’
‘I've already spoken to your brother-in-law, and he agrees with me——’
‘You've telephoned Simon?’ she gasped again, her eyes even wider than before.
Dominic gave an arrogant inclination of his head. ‘Actually, during the course of the conversation he invited me to spend Christmas with you and the family,’ he revealed distantly.
Simon would. Her brother-in-law was one of the kindest, most warm-hearted, most generous people she had ever known, and the thought of someone spending the festive season on their own would easily move him to make the invitation to Dominic. And he would have meant it sincerely, too.
Goodness knew, Dominic was far from being a stranger to Penny and Simon; even though the other