A former Justice Department attorney himself, he’d left the DOJ to accept an appointment as a federal court judge shortly after Peyton joined the department. Leland’s career was definitely on the fast tract, as evidenced three years later with an appointment to the federal appellate court as a circuit court justice. His goal was to one day make it to the Federal Supreme Court. Peyton had little doubt Leland would one day realize his dream.
With all his potential, she should have found the decision to marry him an easier one to make. He had a bright future ahead of him as a relatively new appointee to the appellate court, and at thirty-nine he kept in shape by playing racquetball twice a week and jogging five miles daily regardless of the weather. But for reasons Peyton couldn’t pinpoint, every time he’d asked her to marry him during the last two months, she’d hesitated, claiming she wasn’t sure if she was ready to settle down.
Settle down? she silently scoffed. Her work was her life. What was there to settle down? She didn’t own a cat, or even so much as a goldfish. About the only wild oats she’d ever sown were the ones she sprinkled with salt and a little butter in her cereal bowl each morning.
It hadn’t always been that way, she mused. Once upon a time, she had had a great love affair. One man had stolen into her heart, into her soul, but it had ended badly, as great affairs often do. Except most didn’t end with one of them turning the other over to law enforcement.
“You’re lucky, Peyton. Most people find a great love only once,” Kellie said, as if reading her mind. “You’ve had it twice.”
Peyton pulled her hand free, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. “Jared was a mistake. Leland and I are much more suited to each other.”
Kellie frowned down at her. “But you’re in love with him, right? I mean, he’s obviously in love with you. Two carats’ worth.”
“I love Leland, yes. He’s gentle and kind, and he appreciates me the way I am. He isn’t always trying to change me, to get me to loosen up and live life on the edge. Leland is…comfortable, and that’s something I need in my life.”
“Comfortable, or safe?” Kellie challenged.
“Is there a difference?”
Kellie walked to the window overlooking the busy street ten floors below, and stared out into the darkness for a moment. “Do you want to know what I think?” she asked, keeping her back to Peyton.
“Not really, but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me, anyway.”
Kellie turned to face her, a frown marring her delicate, petite features. “Leland’s safe, Peyton. He doesn’t make you feel too much. Not like…well, not like Jared.”
Peyton let out a slow breath. She’d been thinking about Jared, and now Kellie was reminding her of what she’d tried for three long years to forget but could never quite completely manage to do.
Her friend knew how difficult it had been for her when she’d made the phone call to turn Jared over to the bureau. But he’d gotten away, knowing she was the one to betray him. She hadn’t wanted to believe him capable of a brutal double murder or of stealing two million dollars, but the agents who’d come to see her had shown her the evidence against him. As an attorney for the United States, reviewing evidence and building a case out of that evidence was her job—a job she did damn well, if her recent promotion was any indication. And she’d seen more than enough to know there was little remaining doubt of Jared’s guilt. He’d claimed he’d been framed, but what she’d seen with her own eyes told another story. The story of Special Agent Jared Romine, one of the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s best turned bad.
The truth was indeed damning. Jared’s fingerprints had been all over the crime scene. From everything she’d been shown, the evidence not only pointed solely at Jared as the shooter, but as the one who’d taken the two million in cash from Senator Martin Phipps’s office, as well. She still hadn’t understood why the senator had had that kind of money lying around, and she probably never would know. Still, while her mind understood that everything pointed to Jared as the guilty party, her heart had taken a whole lot longer wrapping itself around the fact that he’d actually killed his partner, Jack Dysert, and the senator’s top aide, Roland Santiago. Two million bucks was a hell of a motivator, so maybe she had her answer, after all.
She looked at the solemn expression on Kellie’s face, at the compassion and understanding shining in her eyes. Kellie never judged. She only offered support and comfort. As far as friends went, she was easily Peyton’s closest and dearest.
Peyton stood. “I won’t deny it. On a certain level, yes, Leland does make me feel safe.” She stuffed the Howell motion back into the file before turning off her laptop, wishing she could shut down thoughts of Jared just as easily. “And yeah, I guess you could say he is safe, too. He’s got a solid career ahead of him. We have the same goals. We’re well suited. There’s nothing wrong with that, Kel. Not if it’s what I want.”
Kellie let out a long breath, her gaze filling with frustration. “What about passion? I mean, okay, I like Leland. He’s a nice enough guy and he obviously adores you, but come on, Peyton. The guy just screams beige.”
Peyton frowned. “Beige?”
“Yeah. Beige. You know, you’re making love with the guy and he’s feeling a little adventurous so he lets you be on top. But he’s not looking at you, he’s staring at the ceiling, and instead of saying something wicked and naughty that’ll excite you more, he says, ‘I think we should paint the ceiling beige.’”
Peyton couldn’t help herself; she laughed. “Okay, so Leland is a little conservative. But for the record, Ms. Nicols, there’s nothing wrong with beige. Beige is a nice, neutral color. It goes with just about everything.”
“Beige is boring,” Kellie countered. “I just don’t want you to settle for beige and then find out later you really wanted shocking blue or hot and sexy red.”
Her days of hot and sexy red were over. Peyton knew that, and embraced the staid, stable life she’d created for herself. She’d betrayed hot and sexy red and had made up her mind to opt for safe, secure and settled. The betrayal held a wealth of regret, but she’d had no other choice. If she thought about it, she was glad she’d finally made the decision to marry Leland, even if it had taken her two months to accept his proposal. She’d made the right choice. Wasn’t that what mattered in the long run? That’d she’d made the choice that was right for her?
Peyton slid her laptop into her briefcase, then considered adding the Howell file. Leland was away for the weekend at a judges conference, and chances were all she’d do tonight was more research, anyway, so she moved the file to the side of her desk. Since she’d be in the office tomorrow morning, there was no sense dragging it home with her.
She snapped her briefcase closed. “Hot and sexy red is you, Kel. Not me.”
Kellie planted her hands on her slender hips. “When I first met you, you could be classified as hot and sexy red.” She held up her hand to stop the argument hovering on Peyton’s lips. “I know, I know. That’s the past. Beige is safe. Boring, but safe. Just make sure Leland is what you really want, okay?”
Peyton set the briefcase on her chair to shrug into her navy blazer. “It is,” she said, adjusting the collar. “He is, okay?”
Kellie let out a long-suffering sigh. “Okay,” she said, but her eyes told another story, and Peyton didn’t want to look close enough to read the words. She didn’t need to. She had them memorized, and knew the story hadn’t equaled the stuff fairy tales were made of, but a cold, hard reality with a different ending, one filled with betrayal and heartache. A tale that told the story of a man and a woman who’d been made for each other, until one of them had taken a path the other could never follow.
“Come on,” Peyton said, leading the way out of her office. “I’ll walk you out.”
Kellie sat down at her desk just