But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel idiotic. He knew his wife well, and last night wasn’t a meaningless romp. Waking up that morning with Olly’s legs entwined with his and her head on his chest had given him a sense of rightness in the world that had been missing for too long. It wasn’t complete. Nothing would ever feel complete again…not without Cody. But damn, being with his wife again had felt good.
Divorce. The word chewed through his gut like acid. So yeah, as ineloquent as his brother’s statement was, Jace was correct. This sucked.
“Don’t beat yourself up too much. Hell, from what I can see, most women are contrary, often self-indulgent and experts at playing games with men,” Jace said, as if reading Grady’s thoughts, albeit a slightly convoluted version of them. “Most of them are just plain crazy.”
“Olivia isn’t like that. The accident changed her…changed us. It isn’t her fault she can barely stand to look at me now.”
Jace’s hand stilled in the air. “Don’t go down that road. You didn’t cause that accident. If she blames you for that—”
“She insists she doesn’t,” Grady said. “But that wasn’t what I meant. I remind her too much of Cody. Every damn time I’m in the same room with her, she looks at me and sees him. Can’t blame her for that.”
Jace leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, his food apparently forgotten. “She isn’t the only person who lost a son. You did, too. Mom and Dad lost their only grandchild, and Seth and I,” Jace said, referring to the youngest brother in the Foster clan, who was currently deployed out of the country, “lost our nephew. There’s a world of hurt here. It sort of seems as if Olivia is only thinking of herself and what she has lost.”
His brother’s words, no matter how honest and heartfelt they were, irritated Grady. “You’re not calling my wife selfish, are you? Yes, you and Seth and Mom and Dad all loved Cody, but it isn’t the same. You can’t know what this feels like, and I hope you never do.”
“Not selfish,” Jace said quickly. “But you have to admit that Olivia has closed herself off from the family. None of us have talked to her in well over a year. Mom and Dad miss her, too.” His voice lowered. “Look, I like Olivia. I always have. And I am sick over what you two have gone through. But hell, Grady—what about you? Has she tried to comfort you? Has she tried to be as present in your life as you have in hers?”
Grady didn’t answer for a second. In the beginning, right after the accident, she had. They’d tried to comfort each other, had turned to each other, but shortly after the funeral, she’d retreated to a place that Grady couldn’t reach. “I don’t think she knows how.”
“Maybe. But that doesn’t make her lack of trying right. And it doesn’t help you move on, now does it?”
There was some truth there, Grady admitted to himself. Even so, moving on without Olivia didn’t appeal. Sure, visualizing a life without her was possible. Eventually, he’d find a balance and would create a life that made sense. Knowing this, though, didn’t make the prospect any easier to choke down. “It is what it is.”
“It’ll get easier. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but it will,” Jace promised.
The sympathy in Jace’s eyes surprised him. “Don’t look now, but my brother has a heart,” Grady teased. “That was bordering on touchy-feely. Maybe you should give that talk-show-host gig a shot.”
“Nah. I’m good. My column is doing well and the paper lets me do almost anything I want.” Jace tipped his glass and fished out an ice cube. “Can’t ask for much more than that.”
“That will kill your teeth,” Grady said when Jace stuck the ice in his mouth and chomped down. “Hasn’t your dentist taught you anything? Women won’t find you nearly as attractive with a mouthful of broken teeth.”
“Hockey players seem to do okay.” Jace became preoccupied with folding his napkin into tiny squares. “Besides, I’m too busy at work and at the house to date much these days.”
Even if his brother hadn’t avoided eye contact, Grady still wouldn’t have believed him. Jace, with his boyish good looks and ramped-up charisma, was a woman magnet. Hollywood would make bundles if they created a reality show based around Jace’s extreme dating lifestyle. “You’re too busy to date? Right. Tell me another story.”
“I’m serious.” Picking up his unused fork, Jace tapped it against the table, making a rat-a-tat-tat sound. “And it’s not a big deal, so just drop it.”
Grady laughed, believing Jace was joking, and fully expecting him to join in. When his brother remained straight-faced, Grady clamped his jaw shut. He was serious? “Whoa. What’s up with that? I’ve never known you to be too busy for women.”
Jace lifted his shoulders in a stiff shrug.
Curious about his brother’s odd behavior, Grady took a leap. “Have you finally met a woman who refuses to be the flavor of the week?”
“She won’t even date me,” Jace muttered, clicking the fork harder against the speckled laminate tabletop. “Shoots me down every time I ask. It’s exasperating.”
“Shoots you down, eh? I never thought the day would come. Who is she?”
Bright splotches of red colored Jace’s cheeks. “Someone I work with. No one special.”
“Well, you’re wrong there.” Grady took in his brother’s pinched expression. “You’re also clueless. A woman who halts your speed-dating lifestyle cannot be described as ‘no one special.’ Why won’t she date you?”
“She thinks I’m a playboy.” The admission was made in a flat tenor, as if Jace couldn’t care less. But his tense body language made it clear how very much he did care. “You are a playboy,” Grady pointed out. “Anyone who spends more than fifteen minutes with you can see that. So what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m working on that.” Jace frowned and a light of anxiety, or maybe it was embarrassment, whisked over him. “Just forget it, okay? Let’s talk about something else.”
Grady wanted to press harder, but decided not to. Some things a man had to figure out on his own. “Sure. You said something about the house.” Jace had bought a fixer-upper a couple of years ago with the intent of flipping the house to make a profit. The slowdown of the economy combined with the fact that Jace loved the location had changed his mind. “Are you finally renovating the place?”
Jace tossed him a grateful smile. “I am. The problem is I tear stuff out and then move on to another room without finishing what I started. Maybe you can swing by and help one of these weekends?”
“Sure.” Grady swallowed a chuckle. “Though, if you tear down the entire house and need a place to stay, I have a fairly comfortable couch.”
“It won’t come to that, but thanks.” Jace rubbed one hand over his face and sighed. “I need to take off. I have a column to finish and a couple hours’ work planned on the house. You gonna be okay?”
Grady nodded. “One word of advice and I’ll leave your women problems alone. If you think you could really love this woman, then she’s worth fighting for. If you’re not a playboy, prove that to her. If you’re serious about her, then show her that.”
“Yeah, well…I’m trying.” Jace pulled some bills from his wallet and tossed them on the table. “Dinner’s on me, seeing as I ate most of it.”
Grady watched his brother amble from the restaurant. Seeing Jace like this took Grady back to the moment when he’d finally come to terms with how important Olivia was to him. On some level, he’d known that he’d fallen for her fast, but he